Hi all im new to this community. I desperate to speak with people who know how im feeling.
I suddenly lost my beloved Dad with absolutely no warning 3 weeks ago. It was his funeral on Tuesday. Ive not been coping well atall and im having dark thoughts more and more often. I just want to be with my Dad. He was my entire world and i saw him everyday. The pain is eating me alive. Im not eating sleeping or going out of the front door
I dont even know what im asking here all i know is i desperately need help:broken_heart:
Hi Sharon, that’s exactly how I felt right after losing my mum. I couldn’t eat, kept waking up all throughout the night to cry and not sleeping, kept thinking how I couldn’t bare the idea of going the rest of my life without seeing and talking to my mum again. It’s only been just over 2 months since she’s passed, and I can’t say I’m not still thinking like that, but I do know for certain my mum would want me to be happy, she would want me to live my life to the full, so I wouldn’t be honouring her with those dark thoughts. And I look at my husband and dog and know I need to be around for them too. Is there anyone you are close to that you can talk to when you feel down like that? Would it help if you thought your dad wouldn’t want you to be in that much pain and would want you to carry on? Sending hope and strength x
Thanks so much for taking the time to reply. Im in such a dark hole i just cant think clearly. I know my Dad wouldnt want me to be feeling this way, but i just cant shake the feeling xxx
Hello I lost my Dad suddenly 3 months ago . Feel pretty much the same . It does ease a little and I’ve sort of learnt to carry the weight of it with me . It’s horrible though. Really wish I wasn’t on this path.
Miss his so much.
This group helps as you aren’t alone.
Laura xxx
@sharon14 so sorry for you. I am 8 months since my beloved dad died and I still can’t believe it. It’s horrendous but this group will help you. It’s heartbreaking - I was the same my dad was my world, my best friend and I am completely lost without him. I cannot stop thinking of the finality of it all and his final hours - like @Laura8 said you carry it around with you but manage (very difficult) to go about your day but the simplest wee thing just triggers you. I went for my eye test on Friday and the optician said to me I see you have a family member with glaucoma - my dad - I said oh that was my dad he died this year and burst into tears immediately - I was so down for the next 24 hours. It’s heartbreaking - the realisation of the fact he has gone - take care and hear anytime if you need a chat. This group makes you realise how lucky you were to have such a bond with your dad and it is very normal to feel like you do.
I lost my Dad 11 days ago to cancer, I’m heartbroken . I’m dreading his funeral. We nursed him round the clock at home for 10 weeks and I’m struggling to process how quickly he went downhill. .
Sorry this is my first post, just wanting to vent . I’m either angry, heartbroken, sad or numb.
Hi @sharon14 . I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mum - very unexpectedly just under 3 weeks ago. The funeral is Thursday this week.
You are not alone and being able to share openly and honestly on here about how you feel, does help.
I have felt so sad and shocked. I tried to get some sleeping tablets but was advised to find coping strategies instead for the time being.
I’m a mum and I would want my children to live their life in my honour if anything happened to me. I would want them to be happy and healthy. I would live on through them - in their hearts ( I know this is how my mum would feel too but not ready to accept this yet).
I don’t think any of us can expect much from ourselves so early in the grieving process. It will take time for us to come to terms with our loss and to become used to life without our loved one in it day to day. It’s ok to cry, anytime and anywhere. We don’t have to suffer in silence and it does help to release the build up of sadness.
I wish us all strength to get through this time. Sending hugs, Rachel x
So very sorry for your loss. My Dad died suddenly in April. He saw a branch over hanging the road. He said someone’s going to get killed with that. So at 8 in the evening he took a chain saw and cut it down. But his heart decided it didn’t like that and he has a heart attack and was taken to hospital where his ventilator was turned off in front of us.
Such a terrible shock he was fit and well and working full time up to that day.
I thought it didn’t affect me really and I carried on as normal
He was my best friend always there got me.
Now it’s hit me like a truck.
I cry at everything I cannot find enjoyment in anything . Life is hell. I go through the motions of life. Friends and partner and kids all been briliant.
I am making mistakes at work and don’t want to be there.,
I’m paranoid and think they are all talking about me.
Would antidepressants help me ?
It is a comfort reading your brave posts .
Amazing people with such sad stories.
So brave
Hi @Niknak1. So sorry to read about your loss. This must have been such a shock.
I think that I am quickly learning that grief is so different for everyone and there are no time limits and there is no magic number of weeks grieving and then life returns to normal.
I am sure we will all live with some sadness for the rest of our lives but hopefully, we learn to live with it and function and enjoy life again. I suspect it will never be very far away and may rear its head at any moment. It is the price we pay for being such lucky people to have someone so precious in our lives. I wish us all strength and smiles during our lives. X
Evening I lost my mum in august . I have been having dark thoughts for ages. I have been keeping them from my wife. If she knew she would be very angry. I do not want to go on living. My mum was my life. I think of her everyday I just wish she was here and I took her place. People said she is with god. That got me so angry as I do not belive in. God. She is with my dad. I love my mum so much I thinking about being her with her everyday . I have thought about it more and more .everyday. My doctor and mental health have been excellent but I have not told them how I am feeling
@Niknak1@Michael73 hi I’m so sorry for your losses It’s truly The worst . My Dad died suddenly too in July and he was my biggest supporter, guide and best friend .
Anti depressants May help ? Im not on them myself as im trying to get through it and feel as much as possible which hurts but if you are having those thoughts they may well help and you could talk to your doctor ?
I’ve got a Nhs assessment for counselling tomorrow- not sure how it’ll go but with a try . Takes ages to get it though .
This group is very helpful as so many people understand and you can say what you are feeling which is really important xxx
