I lost my Dad in March 2022 and it was without doubt the worst time of my life. I couldn’t sleep, didn’t really want to go anywhere and became very anxious. All I can tell you is it does get easier, I think you learn to accept and live without them in your life. That’s not to say I don’t miss him, I think about him all the time and recently I have felt much more sad than I had done.
Many people would try and tell me “it’ll be ok” “your Dad wouldn’t want you to be sad” etc and to be honest I found that hard as I felt people were saying that who didn’t understand.
I had some bereavement counselling which really did help, it’s maybe not right for you, but may be worth exploring.
I don’t want to tell you any of the cliches you hear as everyone is different and hearing these don’t make you feel better but I do know it’s time that helps us in the long run. How long that is, only you will know but in time you won’t always feel like you do now.
Thankyou so much for replying. Im sorry your grieving too lovely. Im struggling so bad, im having more and more dark thoughts. I just want to escape this pain but i cant as i have children. Its hell on earth💔 i definately need counselling xx
@sharon14
Hello have you spoke to your doctor? I have a lot of dark thoughts as well. I don’t want to carry on. How you and the kids? If you need a chat Sharon I’m here . Have you got any support ?
That’s really brave of you to voice out how you feel to your GP. Did they recommend anything that may help?
I did bereavement counselling through CRUSE and I really did find it helpful. More so than I thought as I was sceptical! There was a long wait but I’m so glad I signed up.
Hi @Mop48 I’m having grief counselling through my work. I’m not finding it overly helpful though. It’s good to get things out, to tell my counsellor all my thoughts and feelings and worries, but I find because she can’t really offer advice in return, she’s really just there to listen, it’s almost like I’m speaking to a brick wall? Did it ever feel like that for you? I find I want more guidance. I know the counsellor isn’t there to share her own story, but I still just feel so alone in my grief and haven’t learnt any tools for how to manage it and cope with all my feelings and sadness x
It always felt like the right thing for me. I really found it a useful and positive experience. I feel like it helped me look at things from a different perspective than I had been. Is your counsellor specifically trained in bereavement counselling as I think that’s really important.
Hi @Mop48, I’m not sure, but I think she is trained in it. I think that’s what I would like too - to see things from a different perspective maybe. But I often just feel like I’m talking to myself Maybe because I’m not talking to someone who has been through it, like people on here who understand xx
Hi all. So awful to be where we are isn’t it. Still struggling to take in the sudden loss of my mum.
I was really keen to meet other people in person who are going through this. I have found a bereavement group not too far away, that meet once a month. It’s a start I suppose. @Woo4, I hope you and the others here are keeping your heads above water. I thought about counselling (can get this through work) but I too really feel like I need a two way conversation but with people who really know what this is like. X
Glad you’re getting help Rachel .
I’m in a dark place. Thinking of sucide. I miss my mum so much. No one knows how I am feeling. I hate feeling like this but it’s all I think about most days
@Michael73 - I am just so sorry that you are being affected in this way. I hope you were able to share your thoughts with your mental health nurse (I think you’d said?).
I am not a professional, so have no real advice. I do know how gut wrenching this sadness is though.
I am just helping to word my mums headstone at the moment.
I am choosing to not go with past tenses or reference to loss. I will be visiting regularly and want to find comfort there and to sit and talk. I am choosing my wording carefully, so that it does not trigger more sadness than necessary.
I am finding that it helps me when I’m really sad, to talk to my favourite (and last) photo of my mum. She is looking right at me in this photo. I find some comfort from that and I ask her to be with me and to help me.
I try to think that our parents have been through grief in their lives (all different of course) and survived it. I want to be able to do this just as my mum did. Thinking of us all x
Yes I did mention it to her. I did not go to my funeral as my anxiety and depression are not good . I do not like being near anyone. So most days I stay at home. Sleep during the day awake mist if the night. Me and my sis have had visits from our mum . That has freaked me out.
@Michael73, we are all suffering in our own individual ways but you are not alone. I have found that we never have to be alone with this supportive forum.
I would love a visit from my mum.
This level of believing and wanting to believe is quite new to me.
My dad went back home for a few days this week (he’s been staying with us) he was cutting the very damp grass and a Robin flitted between the path next to him and a little bush the whole time. I had put a Robin in with my mum, perched on her shoulder.
I yearn for a sign myself.
Finding a way to live with this is going to take a lot out of me (all of us I’m sure) but my mum gave me life and I owe it to her to live that life. X
It’s difficult isn’t it. I know Cruse is specifically for bereavement so they have lots of experience. I can’t rate them highly enough, they helped me so much. Maybe it’s worth exploring a different counsellor if you dont feel the one you have is helping you.
Maybe because I’m not talking to someone who has been through it, like people on here who understand xx
x