As I mentioned previously I’m an only child and I lost my mum just over a week ago.
So I keep on hearing people say grief is like waves and I definitely understand that. For me it feels like I am stuck in the ocean and drowning and keep swimming but I’m going no where and the waves keep coming. I can see life buoys in front of me, but I can’t seem to reach them. I know they can save me and help but to me they are so far out of reach. To me the life buoys are my dad, husband and boys. They are here for me and showing me unconditional love, but I am just so so sad and I miss her so much, I can’t seem to feel or hear it. I am just hoping in time I reach the life buoys and start moving towards the shore.
But for now, I guess I just have to accept the waves
I felt so much worse after the funeral too. it will be a week tomorrow since my mum’s funeral. At times I feel completely hollow inside with the worse heartache. Others I can’t stop crying. I definitely know where your coming from, the overall feeling is completely lost without her. I don’t know if it will ever feel or get better. But friends and family who have lost people, say it doesn’t get better as such but you just learn to cope better. If you ever want to talk DM me, goodness knows I need a friend who is going through the same thing. People keep saying, be kind to yourself.
I agree, once the funeral is done there’s almost a bigger void. The messages drop off and time has slowed down. I’m trying to take the time for me but it still feels so heavy, nothing like ever before
Yes 100% the void is massive. Everyone is there for you during the illness, wake and funeral but after the messages and phone calls become a whole lot quieter. My friend says the other day- “I was giving you time’. Time for what to sit and think. Or the question comes “are you ok”? Or ‘how are you”? And you don’t know what to say, u just want to run. Or people tell you to organise things and I don’t have the strength or heart to do it. The list is endless. No one can prepare you
