@ nicky1961So true, two people one soul.
No, not selfish… just how do we give when our own selves are now deprived of the very fundamental, life-sustaining love of our beloved?
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My husband died suddenly and unexpectedly 10 weeks ago and I have gone through every emotion under the sun. But for the last few days I felt kind of numb as though I wasn’t letting my brain process the reality of it all. Then I needed to go to our local market town and I cracked when I saw all the Christmas decorations. And I passed the shop where I always bought him a beautiful sweater. And then to cap it alI I came home and it’s the first time I’ve come back to the house with the lights on and the blinds drawn, and I thought, “Oh great, he’s home.” And then I realised that he isn’t and he’s never going to be, and now I’m in bits again. Unbearable.
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Hi Nicky, I am sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you feel, every day is a day without your partner. Just when you think ok, I might be able to do, this you are back at square one. The more people tell you it will be ok, the more you want to tell them it can never be alright ever again. I can only offer you love and strength
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What do they know anyway ? I am usually feel this anger inside when this mindless platitude dished out to me albeit with their somewhat kindness.
Little over two years now, I came to realize that there is only this one square… that I am grateful to experience it, and hope to be reunited with my soulmate fully one day.
Sorry this is not to be directed to you… and I wish you the same, encouragement to keep going, one step at a time…it is hard, very hard … May God’s angels help us along our way.
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@Punto that is so apt. The people I have met on here have seen me through some of my darkest days and have allowed me to be truthful about my feelings which is not easy with my family and close personal friends. The fact that we are all going through similar trauma makes for a very special bond. Ann x
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That is loveley punto so true and i hope we can meet up next year fingers crossed xxx
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I am looking forward to meeting up next year. We all need to look forward to something.
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@Punto
It is exactly how I feel too. Having this support network is such a comfort, because no one else can really understand what we go through.I’m so glad I’ve found all these friends.
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Aw … thars lovely 
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Hi @Jan17 it was ok you know. Had a few meltdowns because it felt very strange without my husband by my side but my granddaughter kept me and my daughter busy so that was probably a good thing xxx
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@Punto that sums up this site perfectly thank you . Yes it’s been such a help to find like minded people who are now friends
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That sums it up perfectly Punto thank you for sharing it xxx
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Thanks @Jol feels funny now im back home without him though … just had a good old cry … anyway im going to my mums now with a hanky at the ready ! xxx
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My 6-year-old granddaughter is sleeping over tonight. She was only meant to come for tea but said she’s staying, so I dont get lonely on my own every night. How sweet. Although I think it was because she gets spoilt when she stays over.
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Hi @ Punto
It nice to have some company
How lovely to stay over
Maybe one day soon my great grandson who is 1 will stay over to keep.me company
Lynne x
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@debs I never thought about that one . Going to the airport without him sat in the front of taxi will be awful for starters and the list goes on . It will be better than seeing everyone celebrating here as to us we have no feelings for it . It’s nothing without him with us at all
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It’s been two months now since Trevor died. Only 10 weeks after diagnosis so it was all so fast. My son and I got the decorations out last night. It was so hard as it was always something we did as a family and Trevor used to put the lights on the tree. We had three trees but I could only face doing one this year. It broke my heart seeing all the ornaments, most of which are plastic, individually wrapped in kitchen paper. Trevor was so meticulous. I can’t get out of bed this morning. I miss him so much.
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