i hope you made it and made the most of the sun
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It is so hard and lonely this journey of grief and we walk this alone. Everyday feels like a rollercoaster that is never ending. 
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Mornings are definitely the worst time for me as well.
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Thanks @SadGirlfriend and @olive3
I did go and volunteer and it took my mind off of things for a while but I’m still having a bit of a downer at the moment.
I had a rare bit of time on my own this evening and so went for a long walk with the dog and then came home and just sobbed, safe in the knowledge that the kids wouldn’t hear or see me.
It hasn’t really made me feel any better but I’m sure it is probably good for the soul.
Have a to do list for tomorrow and going to go back to the gym for the first time in weeks - usually makes me feel a bit better and I need to keep trying to do those things that help me at the moment.
I Keep trying to be positive ( apart from on this site where I share all my honest negativity! ) but was listening to the radio this evening and they were talking about the need for us to accept and own when things are not good - can’t be happy all the time !!!
A hope for some future happiness would help though to be honest.
Hope you all manage to get some peaceful rest tonight. Xxx
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I think we have to feel all the emotions to get through this , it will get better .
I have to live with my guilt finding a way to do that is hard.
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I think you are right. There is no getting around the feelings.
It’s just so blooming hard and painful isn’t it.
Hope your day passes more easily xxx
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Lovely photo
Yes life is so so cruel
I can’t believe the pain it can send us
Sending big hugs x
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@Liro thank you sending my love to you . It’s such a loss . Only people on here see how bad we all feel . Take care my love xx
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What a lovely happy looking photo. So sad when these things pop up and catch us by surprise. Hopefully in time we can look back at these times more with happiness than sadness
Hope your day is as good as it can be xx
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Morning are difficult
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Mornings are the absolute worst. The reality that you will never see them again and your life has changed forever. It’s heartbreaking 
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You question everything, it’s rubbish.
Why are we so complex , why do we love only to have it ripped from us. ?
I do believe in God and a greater power I understand about Jesus and what he did . But it’s still rubbish I want my Ben back. And the hope of possible seeing him in an afterlife is well……… anybody’s guess and frankly I want the world to stop and get off.
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I have had the exact same things happen to me, it is just over 6 weeks since I lost my David. I am so sick of doing paperwork, I am normally quite competent at these things but now it is like climbing a mountain and so tiring.
I too worry terribly when I do not get replies or someone is late.
i have also made lots of silly mistakes and cannot remember things that I have done or things that need doing, I have lists and post it notes everywhere and sometimes I don’t even know what they are for ! I have to look at my phone or laptop to know what day it is. Everything is a muddle and hard work.
I think this will be what it initially will be like for the poor souls who get dementia. I am also shaky and feel scared all the time. We will get through it together X
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Take care friend, slower a little, you’ll get there. I took am a bloody disorganised mess compared to before.
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Hi Maz I think there’s quite a big queue here to jump off the world. All we can do is support one another through this nightmare. Take care. Sending love and support xx
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Hi penny you could be describing my situation exactly. I’m normally organised and competent but have been overwhelmed by the paperwork. And I panic if anything goes wrong and shake when I’m upset. Just try and do one thing each day. I find when I contact an organisation it just generates a load more admin and they want everything digitally.
We are all here for each other ( thank goodness) and will help one another through this devastating situation. Love and support x
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All the sadmin is so hard - like others I used to be really competent but all the admin has been a nightmare over the last 3 months. And some companies have made huge errors which has caused endless stress.
Today I went to the post office to post documents to my husbands work and found I’d left them at home.
Do feel like I have dementia also at times.
When I have a bit more clarity I try get everything done as much as I can, but I’m then wiped out.
Just one thing at a time is how I try now.
Strength to all struggling here xxx
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Yes the digital things are awful, I have been unable to upload things such as death certificate etc as my pics are in the wrong format ??? David was a whizz at computer things and would easily sort things out, like lots of things he did, I struggle with household jobs that need strength too, it is all very frustrating on top of the grieving.
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If you did jump off there would be lots of us waiting underneath with a safety net 
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