I struggle with the practical things. I didn’t need to do them. So I didn’t.
It just never occurred to me that one day I might need to do them.
Now I have to ask for help. And I don’t like to keep asking
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It’s awful. I dread the postman coming and that thud when the big fat envelopes hit the floor. Each is another complicated form to fill in. “Sorry for your loss, now give us all the gory details and we will screw up your life just a bit more”. I just found out in one of the dreaded missals that Probate currently takes 16 weeks! Four months! Perhaps they should make the forms less complicated, then they might be able to sort them quicker. And everyone wants an original death certificate, which is another outrageous moneymaker. Sorry, rant over. I will just seal the letter box and carry on with my Queen Victoria impersonation. Xx
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Things are so difficult now . I got my wing mirror smashed and it’s like the world has stopped . It was so easy when they were there to sort things I have ordered a one from a breakers company . No wheels for a week or two is rubbish . Nothing goes right now at all . It’s terrible
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I agree everyting seems like the end of the world…but then it is the end of our worlds just now so it is a lot worse.
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The morning after the longest day, I awake shaking and despair that yes this nightmare is real.
all i can do is get through another day. just get through.
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Yes we all know that feeling. Just take it hour by hour. Every one here understands. Sending love and strength x
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thank you my phone keeps sending me u tube suggestions of the music i would play for mum.
Its only been six weeks and i am trying to do all the right things but feel like i am grinding to a halt.
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Sending love and hugs
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Hi LyndaK, exactly the same for me, we all seem to suffering this anxiety and loss of purpose. We all seem to feel the same, in time I hope this will pass
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That is what I hate too.
The mornings and if I don’t feel brilliant my husband would probably say sit down and don’t do anything. There’s noone here to say that. It’s the little things missing.
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Welcome. Sorry you are feeling bad. Glad you found this site though. We all understand how you feel.xx
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You’re absolutely right. The mornings are dreadful- the awful reality of another day without our beloved partners. Keep posting. This group has been a lifeline to me. You can say whatever you feel and no one judges you. And more importantly everyone genuinely understands.
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My husband didn’t want to be buried he wanted to be cremated and I couldn’t go against his wishes. His ashes are in a marble Buddha in the garden. My daughters go and talk to him but I can’t I know he could never come back if he had been buried but it still upsets me that his being cremated really is the end. There’s no body. Oh it’s all so awful it’s like your life has finished after being married for 51 yrs and together 54 yrs.
Same here. My husband wanted his ashes scattered. There is to be a direct cremation with no ceremony. Very different to my first husband when there was a full Roman Catholic Mass, and burial afterwards. Mind you, I found myself having nightmares about the grave. As for coming back, I don’t think cremation or burial makes any difference to that. Neither is better or worse in my experience. The same as the question about sudden death or long illness. Neither is better, they are equally horrible, just horrible in different ways. Just my thoughts, though. Everyone has different feelings and fears, and all are valid. If something/anything makes someone feel better I am all for it.
Much love and hugs. Xx
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Thank you.
Have you had counselling?
I m not sure about it. I have done one session with Vita Lives it’s online with someone you can see getting all the people that she can’t see and vice versa you have to download an app that you use to either respond to something a person has asked. It’s useless gives you more stress than you had before so won’t be continuing with it. I think this is more helpful.
Being on here certainly helps I find. People do really understand and you can see you are not alone - and not going crazy !
It’s so hard when you lose your soulmate and I’m so sorry you find yourself here.
I’ve just started counselling but it was offered by the hospice my husband died at and there is no time limit to how long I can get supported which I think is unusual. It’s face to face and I hope it will be helpful as I struggle to tell others how I truly feel as they are either my children, or friends and family who I don’t want to burden or who I think won’t understand.
It’s not a cure though and will just give me an avenue to express how I am feeling in a safe environment.
Hope you keep finding this site helpful and do make sure you are looking after yourself
Xx
Hi @Daveozzie
I’m on the waiting list for counselling. Its with the local Hospice that my husband died in. In the meantime I’m going to a drop in centre run by the dame people.
I do think its doing me good. The people ate all very nice, and understanding.
Its a bit like being on this forum, but with faces.
Please keep using this site, it really helps. Its helped me through some very dark times
Love and hugs x
Thank you for your message. I think I will continue using this chat group it is good to know other people have the same feelings about losing someone who was the love of their life.
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