Dear sheila, one day their turn will come to lose their loved ones, only then will they understand how it feels. When you have lived majority of your life with this one person, its so very hard to accept it let alone move on. We loved each other so very much abd i know when my time comes that he will be waiting for me. Dont velieve in the god stuff. If there is a god, why does he make people suffer like this. Its heart breaking. X
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Exactly bubba my faith in Everything’s gone I believe in nothing lv annie x x
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Hi there. Just joined this site this evening. Read your story and it resonated with me so much. My wife died eighteen months ago. This is the first time that i have reached out beyond friends and family, I think that they feel I am ok or should be coping much better after this period of time. Like you say '‘I don’t cry every day but…’.
Outwardly I suppose I am coping, doing some work, engaging with my superb grandchildren. The eldest rings me every morning on her way to school. She is my closest ally.
It’s a weird mix of knowing I have so much to be grateful and at the same time viewing most things as pointless .
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I say to my husband’s photo on many, many occasions
“Where are you?? Why don’t you come back?”
The finality is simply crushing isn’t it?!
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I am so sorry you find yourself in so much pain of loss, I understand.
Your words are so painfully true for me - “It’s a weird mix of knowing I have so much to be grateful for and at the same time viewing most things as pointless”
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Crushing, simply crushing. How a person can cause so much pain by not being on this earth???
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Your last sentence resonates with me completely Davey
Hi there. Comforting that somebody reads my rambling. I suppose that is the point of this site. Shared experience. It’s helpful.
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Hi there. Comment from you meant so much. Hope your evening is ok. Made some food for the family ( I take it round to them!) back home , feeling typically rubbish but not as negative as recent past. Thank goodness!!!
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How are you doing now Davey?
I range from feeling ever so slightly optimistic to feeling completely hopeless.
I suppose the time of year doesn’t help, it’s a year since Ian died on the 15th of this month. I had my first birthday without him last week.
My friends and family are marvellous and so supportive but I feel guilty as I don’t want to burden them with my grief and my constant rollercoaster of emotions.
I so identify with you feeling “typically rubbish”
I’ve never had so many ups and downs all in any given 24 hours.
Although you don’t want other people to suffer as we are, it’s comforting to know our grief is a common human condition.
Take care, Janey
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Good morning. I understood every word of your message to me. I am just a little further down the road (by six months) in the process and the cliche of ‘gets better with time’ does apply. Perhaps ‘gets less bad’ is a better phrase! Keep in touch. David B.
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I understand Daley it’s 14month since my husband I’m so lucky have 2wonderfull children and 2grandaughter but me and the youngest one are so close they give me the reason to live lv annie x
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Hello Annie.
Me and the eldest grandchild are like peas in the proverbial! She’s 12.5 year and looks after me. Slightly disconcerting that she will soon be taller than me! X
Hiya Daley my youngest granddaughter the same she’s 11 my oldest granddaughter is 21 I love them so much that’s why I stay strong or try to lv annie x x
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So pleased your Grand children give you so much to live for. My Wife of 40 years together passed at 59… 2 years 4months and 3 days ago . She couldn’t carry our babies (had an ectopic pregnancy) and 5 IVF attempts failed. But we had each other… then she died of cancer within 5 months of diagnosis. Just me now at 60 and although I have my Mum, a 3 legged cat and fantastic close friends… I miss her so much.She was my whole world and life will never be good again. Losing loved ones is so painful…losing your life long partner is pain that no one should ever experience. As mentioned on this sight…Nothing can ever be worse. And, as also mentioned on this site, there ain’t no God !!! Share all your pain friends… take care xx
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‘Three legged cat’ made me laugh. Thank you!!
She is 15 and a 3 legged tortoise shell. Totally spoiled and a bit of a diva but so loving and great company. She adored my beautiful Wife and I know I have to be here to look after her or my Wife would never forgive me.
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My sister reminded me that it is our birthday on Saturday. We will be 59. I hadn’t given it a thought. She said we can get take out on Friday night as she is going to visit her son on Saturday. I was relieved as it will be my first birthday without my husband. I will then have to go through it again on the 28.2.22. He would have been 74. I don’t know how I will cope. I am trying not to think about it. I don’t feel there is anything to celebrate any more. We used to go out as a family and celebrate both our birthdays together as they were so close. Now I just want to curl up in a ball. I am Moo and he is Oink. We had ovaltine mugs and would go downstairs at 3 in morning if we could not sleep. How I miss the little things. The little things made love happen x
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It is the little things that I miss so very much too. I was little bear and he was big bear and we had our family of teddy bears too and always being silly together.
I hope you get through the birthdays ok. I’m dreading Valentine’s Day as that was always special to us. We’d make each other cards and dress up and have afternoon tea in the hotel we met at. My beloved Rob passed suddenly on 15th December. It’s so hard. Take care and sending hugs xx
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