Hi ar60 my name is Sharon I have just read your post sorry for your loss my husband died in November 2021 he had end stage kidney failure and heart failure he was on dialysis 3 days a week for 4 hours my husband deteriorated over the last 12 months before he died I to was told by the hospital they didn’t know how long he had left weeks months but after that he died 2 weeks later I have so much guilt and regret as I feel I could have done more all I do is cry everyday heartbroken
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I have just joined too. I’m so sorry that you are in pain, the price we pay for love… Your wee granddaughter sounds like an angel. Bless them for their kindness to their grandfather. My best friend, soul mate, partner, counsellor, supporter …died 13 months ago from covid, during lockdown… and my heart is still broken. A very big part of me doesn’t want the pain to stop as it makes them close to me. I wondered if anyone could relate to this…
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Hi sorry for your loss . My husband died almost five months ago I sometimes feel is this grief or just me feeling sorry for myself my mind is in a muddle . I miss my husband so so much he was my life .x
Thx for your reply. There is certainly no self pity in grief. It’s a legitimate reaction to losing a loved one and we must allow ourselves time to process, to feel, to react. There is no quick fix either but gradually you build new experiences around the grief. I saw an excellent wee animation of this process which has helped me a lot. I’m not sure if this link will work but I’ll post in any case. Take care https://fb.watch/7JJ1hSVSKc/
Thank you for reply . Managed to watch link you sent. It does explain it a bit. Just don’t want to have a lot of years ahead without my one true love . I wish someone could tell me how long I have to live without him . I know that seems daft but sometimes I feel like I’m going mad. Thank you again for careing x
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I can relaye to your story totally. My husband also died 13 months ago from covid. I miss him so very much. He was my life. I feel so alone without him by my side. He was my confidence. My heart is broken and my life is dead without him. I got to spend 8 minutes with him whilst he was dying. He was in hospital for 3 weeks. A strong healthy man, taken cruelly, 6 weeks before i retired. I am in gods waiting room just begging for my turn.
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Having a bad evening. 13 months and not getting any easier. Dont want to go out, dont want to meet friends. Feel the odd one out all the time. Cant control the tears tonight. So bloody hard. Awful existence
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I hear your pain Bubba. Good friends will try to understand your reluctance to socialise. Sometimes I like to write (or type) everything I can remember about my darling F, or to ask their advice or to laugh at a memory ‘together’.
It calms the storm for a while and allows me to lose myself in some happy memories. If you’d like to tell me all the wonderful things about your husband then please share. Tammy x
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I relate to all your messages. My wife passed away just over 8 weeks ago. I know it is early days but this morning lying in bed thinking what is the point of being alive without her. The only future l have is seeing my 5 year old grandson grow up. All our other plans have been shattered. My life is now nothing without her. I am just going through the motions of living. I have been out once socialising, to a quiz, l felt awkward and like a spare part without her. People were laughing and joking and generally enjoying themselves and l was thinking what is there to enjoy. I think it will now be a long time before l will be able to face socialising again. We very rarely socialised as we preferred our own company.
I miss her so much and can’t wait for the day l will be with her again. I also wish someone could tell me when this will be as l cannot face too many years without her.
All take care x
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I too relate to your loss. I feel I do not want to let go of the grief as I will be losing part of my husband. I feel like I am going mad. It’s been ten months and I feel worse every day. My life has no meaning or purpose. I get up and wander round with my dog on the park and only for him I don’t think I would go out. I feel anxious all the time and whatever I do can’t get rid of the feeling. I phone a clairvoyant last night and she gave me a reading. She said I was stuck and I had to try and move on. The angel guides said that it was not good to isolate myself. She could see I would meet new friends. In the end I put the phone down. It’s nothing I didn’t know already but it’s so hard to go out and meet new people. I feel vulnerable and scared.
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It is nel was supposed to go out at lunch time with 2friends a lied and said I had a cold big lie I just want to stay in my house a can’t be bothered with how I have to pull myself together and get on with life what life lv annie x x
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I do this too. I accept invitations then spend the entire time plotting how to get out of it. I tried to explain to a family member why I do this, she didn’t get it, she thinks I’m just being stubborn
She doesn’t get that sabotaging relationships is part of the grief package. She said folk will just stop asking, I think I’m OK with that though. & it’s already started Who would want to sit in my company, I have nothing to say, nothing to contribute. Like a death at a birthday party, spoiling everybody’s fun (John cooper-clarke)
1 year and one month since our lives were ripped apart. One full week in bed apart from local shop last night very late (in case I met anyone).
I know your pain Nel, Trevor, Annie, Tammy…all of you finding yourself here.
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I’ve just been watching Michael Bentine ‘when I get to heaven’ interview on you tube with Richard Holloway very interesting and somehow comforting best wishes everyone
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Thanks Caroline, will have a look…
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Totally understand I lost my lovely husband soulmate 7 months ago now feel as you say very vulnerable keep thinking he is going to come back but of course this is totally unrealistic. His birthday is coming up so that is going to be difficult. A feeling of numbness not sharing things anymore . Thank goodness I have my little dog as company in the evenings Life will never be the same
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I also do that. I have booked a yoga flow session for March and I am already thinking of excuses on how i can get out of going. The only place I go to is the park at the back of the house to walk smudge x
…Dear @Caroline2. What an interesting man, what a tragic life he’s had and worst of humanity he experienced during the war, yet remained so remarkably positive in his faith.
My friend also recommends his book The Door Marked Summer.
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