Our lot was meant to give me 3 days paid, luckily my manager at time was amazing gave me the full week then 2 days for the funeral as was away feom home x
Your mum would want you to live your life out, same as mine would, i know how u feel tho i feel it too! I wish that last day i saw her i crawled into her bed with her higged her and laid and tried to chat absolute crap, ill never forgive myswlf for bot doing that, i was trying ro protect her she didnt know end was coming mostly and im so glad she didnt, but at same time if she knew we could have talked about so much stuff, but as well her brain was blown with the vasular demntia, i will niss her everyday til i draw my last breath im sure you will be same with your mum too, dont get me qrong ive planned ways to be with mum, my allergys are no.1 …but i know she wouldnt want that she would want me looking after her precious grandchildren until we meet again, i never believed in the afyerlife until what i saw qith mum in the hospital, and i swear down from what i saw and how.she responded her dad and sister were waiting there for her, she went from near on dead to bolt upright waving, and was like she was waving at someone she really really loved and missed, i hold ing that close to me, it does comfort me somewhat, that her pwople were there waiting for, i bet your mum had people waiting too, to collect and guide her accross, dont make it no easier for us but i hope im right amd when my time comes my mum be waiting for me to cross, aorry if this seems a ramble
1 Like
I have seen lots of patients who are near to death who have “visions” my mum saw 2 white cats and a man she thought was my brother standing at the end of her bed (he’s still alive) Mum also said she had her sister waiting who only died 6 weeks before, I do hope we meet up with the people we love again.
I bought a note book today and when I feel ready I am going to start writing Mum letters. I hope that by talking to her and sharing my feelings will help, I’ll let you all know how I get on x
2 Likes
Its ny birthday 2md nov, will be the 1st yr my mum cant screach the happy birthday song down the phome, also will be 6 months to the day since i saw her last, the last time i held her hand, the last time she kissed my hand
2 Likes
I saw this poem on Facebook and thought I’d share for all of us missing our Mums
Today 
You’re sewn into my habits,
Like the way I make my tea,
You’re stitched within my waking hours,
Threaded through my dreams
The fibres of you run through
Words and phrases that I say
And all my memories of you
Embroider every day
The jokes you told embellish days
That otherwise are bare
And all your little quirks make up
My life of patchwork squares
It’s you that knitted colour,
That tied knots and bonds so strong
That your beauty and your essence
Still remain now you are gone
See, we are like a tapestry
All stitched and woven tight
And I know you’re always with me
In the fabric of my life
So when I start to feel things
Tangled up inside my heart
I stop and realise love
Is an enduring work of art
Becky Hemsley 2023
6 Likes
Hi. That’s such a beautiful poem.
I’m sorry for the loss everyone is going through. I lost my Mum just over 4 weeks ago and totally resonate with a lot of the feelings written people have written about. A sad journey none of us want to be on. I was so lucky that I got to spend the last day with my Mum as I also live quite far away & was only able to visit every other weekend. I honestly feel she waited until we could all say goodbye. She had dementia, and a long battle with her health over the last 3 years, but the last time I saw her she managed to say ‘I love you’ as clear as anything. I will forever treasure that. I also struggle at work, same in that my boss has been amazing but some of my colleagues haven’t said a word since I’ve been back. I get that some don’t know what to say but it just makes the saddest of times even sadder & has made me retreat into my shell a bit. Sending hugs to everyone. Ange x
3 Likes
Wow yes thank you for sharing I can hardly type through my tears. I miss her
2 Likes
Im sorrybfor your loss, sone people just dont know what to say then some seem to think they wrote the book on grief x
2 Likes
Thank you @Joangus77 I think you’re right, no matter what people do or don’t say nothing really eases the sadness and sense of loss at the moment anyway x
I hide behind my dark twisted sense of humour, i cant show whats really going on infront of my staff, nor my 12yr old girl, nor the school full of kids where i work, and dont like my dad and brother to see it, they have their own pain, so i bury it down masking it behind my wit and humour, it works to get theough the day at work, and somewhat when at home, but inevitably it seeps and bubbles through the cracks in my facade and i emplode, not the healthiest way of dealing i know but its only way for now i can keep the plates spinning
1 Like
My Dad had exactly the same as your Mum @Joangus77 Diabetes first and foremost, COPD and sadly died of a heart attack. Was an awful time, every week I went to see him in hospital he seemed to have deteriorated a bit more, suffering delusions and losing so much weight. It was 10 years ago now & thankfully I no longer see him like that. I think of him every single day & just thank god the picture that comes to mind is of when he was fit & healthy. My grief for my Mum is still very raw and it tears me apart to think of how skeletal like she was by the time she lost her battle. I hope and pray, one day I’ll think of her as she was before the awfulness of her illnesses took hold as I do my Dad.
I hope everyone is as ok as they can be this evening x
1 Like
thank you x
2 Likes
I’m new here but no stranger to grief . Your job is something that not many people can do . You are trying so hard to come to terms with everything. Parents are our life line our everything if we are lucky enough to have them. Your mum must have been a wonderful person. I don’t know what to do without my dad and well I’m a bit of a mess , days are up and down , the things that set me off can be so hard.
You are doing so well.
Take care
4 Likes
Right back at you, im thankful for my daughter having her friend over tonight gi ing mw makeovers…mostly taking the pi●● out of me, nust normal stuff x
1 Like
Im so sorry for your loss and sadness, its bloody hard, i wouldnt say i doing well i seem to be like my friends kids on the spectrum…manage and maintain at school then come home and blow out x
Bless your heart xxx
Hi I’m new to all this. My mum died 5 weeks today. In hospice but really thought it would be just to get pain under control and get physio input and then home, but suddenly she was dying and boy was I not accepting that. Strangely things fell into place that day which meant that I had someone to look after my 12 year old son, and 2 hours later I was holding her beautiful face telling her she didn’t need to fight anymore and I loved her and she is the best mum and nanna ever, then gone. WTF.
No family, it’s always been me mum and my son, a trio, our team. Talk about walking around feeling numb and completely empty inside. Seem to be ok in the house but end up with anxiety outside. Just can’t believe it. How do people cope with having such an important person die??? Lost my brother 20 years ago- sudden young death and that was bad enough but this is another level. Maybe because back then I had lots of family, mum, stepdad, grandparents etc but they’ve all died,., I feel like I’m the loneliest person on this planet. I have a partner but he doesn’t get it, he’s not had any losses- apart from a grandad when he was young. I’m making plea bargains with god to bring her back, and that I’ve just been in a long coma and none of all this true. This is total dog shit. How the hell do you get over this???
1 Like
I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my mum 5 wks ago yesterday so totally understand the numbness. I prefer to stay at home. Just going to the supermarket gives me anxiety, I want the world to stop but it doesn’t, it just carries on as though nothing has happened when my world has fallen apart. I honestly think that unless someone has lost a parent they just don’t get it. Nothing will ever be the same again.
I’m grateful for my 16 year old daughter and my 2 year old dog, without them I think I’d have given up.
Posting here has helped as I know others completely understand this crap journey &, although I don’t wish it on anyone, knowing others feel the same makes me feel a little less alone. Sending love x
1 Like
I tell you it does make it that little bit more bearable knowing someone else is living the hell with you, as selfish as that sounds it helps. Yeah same it was wasn’t for the fact I look after my 12 year old on my own pretty much then I doubt I could carry on. The world seems pointless. I’ve spent weeks on getting all her property out of her rented house which has kept me busy and the gp signed me off for a week- I work in emergency care and can’t face seeing anyone let alone a patient right now. So much has happened that I needed to tell her already. I do talk to her. He ashes are in my sons room and I strangely hug the box and feel close to bed I think.
She will be buried with my brother soon but I already feel attached to the Ashes!
I’m glad I’ve come on here and hearing other similar stories help.
X
1 Like
Where abouts do you live? I’m in Lancashire - would be nice to maybe meet up and chat maybe x
1 Like