I lost my partner (my everything)
On the 18th April 2019
I feel lost and very low
Everyday is a struggle to get up and start another day with out him …
Hi Catrina im so so sorry for your horrendous loss it’s heartbreaking it’s six months and two weeks exactly today since my soulmate Edward fell asleep in my arms im utterly truamatised message anytime there’s alot of lovely people on here who have helped me from joining my soulmate keep posting your in my thoughts take care as much as possible Adele x
Good evening Ade
Thank you for your kind words.
Am sorry for your loss too.
I was a bit worried to join this site but I need to talk to people that have gone through the same heartache .
As friends and family say your be alright…
Inside I just want to die
I had only been with Paul. For 2 half years when he got retum cancer which spread to his lungs and liver he was aged 46 when he died .when my alarm go off in the morning I wake thinking I don’t think I can do another r day with out him …
Catrina
Hi Catrina I am so so sorry for your horrendous loss thankyou for your kind words means alot I really appreciate it I know what you mean family and friends think because we may put or try to put a brave face on our insides are bleeding im so sorry about your Paul it doesn’t matter if you were together 2 days or a million you both loved eachother and had hopes and dreams of the future I was with my soulmate of seventeen years he fell asleep in my arms six months and two weeks exactly today I’m utterly truamatised witnesing it all happen in front of my eyes I can understand you being anxious join here I was too but have had so much support and love and to be honest stopped me joinin my Edward a few times I know what you mean same here can’t sleep then your scared to open your eyes in the Morning to see it did happen and his heads not there anymore on the pillow it’s heartbreaking message anytime hun i am and alot others here for you day or night I haven’t even been able to even turn the television on since October just can’t believe what has happened we dreamed of growing old together everything my life has been blown apart taken away so cruelly and tragically speak soon take care of yourself as much as possible speak soon Adele x
I just wish I had more time with Paul.I know what u mean I was with Paul. When he fell asleep it was so hard to see him.take his last breath
He lost so much weight he he was in pain most of the last year of his life .
I find it hard to watch things we used to watch or even.to go shopping .
Am here anytime if you need ro chat too hun
Take care
Thankyou hun for your kind words means so much it’s awful my Edward was 6 1 stocky and to watch the love of my life go so underweight was soul destroying having to hold the straw to his mouth so he could have a drink of his nutrisip was heartbreaking we did everything together from shopping and gardening to walks holidays it’s all gone im completely hearbroken never felt a pain like it mentally and physically destroyed I am so so sorry for your horrendous loss it’s utterly devastating please message anytime when you feel it’s something that will never feel real or im my life ever accept my insides are shattered dreading waking up alone again you take care of yourself as much as possible speak soon your in my thoughts Adele x
Hello Catrina. We all understand your pain completely so stay with us, someone will help you. That’s what we all do.
I too watched my husband die in pain over time, Soul destroying is all I can say. Knowing what is happening but unable to do anything, feeling so helpless. So many emotions and then the end. I looked after Brian single handed and would do it all over again. I don’t wish to burden you with my troubles but we all have our stories of our loss so you are not alone and I’m sure this will help you. Stay strong
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Hi
Thank you
It’s so hard and you do have so many emotions.
I keep thinking am going to wake up and it’s all been a nightmare .
Even I knew he was dying I didn’t want to believe it was going to happen.
Cancer is evil what its done to your brain and my paul …it was soul destroying to watch him struggling everyday.
We are all in the same boat .I have his funeral on Monday and it feels like my scar is healing and on modal it will be raw gain .
How can we carry on with life with out our soulmates
Catrina
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Hi Catrina so sorry to hear about Paul. I often say no one knows this pain until they’ve experienced the hell that it is. It’s 3 weeks since I lost Colin who was in Australia visiting his family at the time. We were together 10 years. My mornings are the same hell as yours. I don’t want to be here without him and even today I thought he’ll be back, can’t possibly be gone. I walked into the Samaritans in Glasgow today the lady was lovely but what can they say they can’t bring them back. I try to keep busy but apparently I’m hiding from it. I don’t know any real way to help you except by listening any time you want to write. Don’t hesitate to make use of the Samaritans (116 123) breathing space and Cruse. Scream, shout, don’t hold back your tears you need to heal though God knows we’re all on what seems an impossible journey. Much love K xx
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Hi k
Your right nobody knows how we feel .
I do the same I just say am not seeing ir talking to him today …than it hits me I will nevery hear on hold his hand .
I was with paul for 2 and bit years we meet on a dating Web site I found my soul mate my everything.
Anytime you need a chat am here
Big hug
Cat
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Hi hun im so so sorry for your loss it’s utterly devastating im heartbreakon it’s been and gets harder for me your in my thoughts and will be especially on Monday and the weeks and months to come take as much care as possible please sending you a hug speak soon Adele x
Catrina, so sorry you found your soulmate and happiness and then had it cruelly snatched away from you. You must be feeling cheated.
I am not going to tell you that once the funeral is over you can pick up the pieces because it does not work that way. I dreaded the funeral even considered not going, wanted to be alone and with Brian but I did go and did manage better than I thought. It all seemed so unreal though, just as not having him with me is. However I am further along than you and each day I have found, is a challenge to pick up the pieces of life. All I can say is don’t be afraid to grieve but equally make an effort to accept. Some of us write a journal or letter to our loved ones and that helps. I kept a record and still do of everything I do everyday. Talk to him, keep him in your life. I have been told that I will know when I am ready to let him go. I am not there yet. Will be thinking of you on Monday. Best Wishes Pat
Thank you pat
I wrote him a letter and gave it to him when I went to see him In the chapel of rest with some phots
I feel robbed and hurt that we didn’t have longer .
I feel numb and I feel like my life will never go on .
I talk to him
Am waiting for bereavement conselling to see of that helps
Cat x
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In my thoughts hun Adele x
Thank you
Your I my thoughts too
Love cat x
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Hi Catrina I too met my husband on a dating site. Finally I met the missing part of me and was so happy. We met late I was 59 and had only four and a half years together. He went suddenly in bed in his sleep. The only way I cope with the agony is knowing how amazingly lucky we were to find each other so although we only had a short time how good to have found these men who have made us so happy. I hold onto this and I hope you too can find some small comfort from it. Xx
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Heartbreak emoji x
Hi lucy
Am sorry for your loss
We where very lucky to find them .
It’s so hard to keep going on
When I side you feel numb
Cat x
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Can I join in. I met my husband at a singles club. I had been married twice as had Brian and we had both just broken up with partners. On that evening by sheer co-incidence we both picked up the local paper saw the singles night advertised and decided to go. I got there just before he walked in. I must admit I thought “He’s a bit of alright”. I can remember he had on Jeans, black shirt and trainers. No way did I want another relationship. Neither did he. So we became friends meeting up at the club once a week. A funny incident did occur though. One night I was out with the group Brian turned up and went onto the stage with a guitar, now as he was a quiet man I couldn’t understand what he was doing on the stage. He never told me that he was a singer in a band because he was becoming fond of me and his previous relationships had begun with them being sort of groupies. After that we started to take the relationship further. We married nine months later, so much for not wanting to get married again but this time it was right and we had thirty years of happy marriage and Brian was the one and only. It took time but we always said we got there in the end, just as we all did. It’s not over though, we are married and we love our partners and we was blessed with having met them. So let’s hang onto that thought. Pat xxx
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A special story Pat. We became engaged after only 7 months and married after 16. I am so glad we realised life was short and lived for today. Sometimes it feels like torture he has gone but I still know he made my life a happy ending whatever else happens and You to seem to have been given so much too xx
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