I lost my partner due to the hospital not checking their records and going ahead with an operation which should never of taken place. I am completely heartbroken devastated and completely lost
4 Likes
Sorry for your loss.
Very recent and this is difficult time on this path.
Hope you have some family support structure
Stay strong
I have no one i am alone here where i live. My family and friends live over 100 miles away. Thank you for your kind message
2 Likes
My family are in Ireland and also walked this path alone
It was my choice in the end as my family wanted to come stay with me, but I wanted to be alone and do things my way - I found that, although people mean well, they just don’t understand and you need to follow your own path through this and not be pushed in directions.
It’s a difficult road, and my way of isolation is probably not the healthiest and not for everyone, but it was what I felt I needed to do to get through it.
If you are struggling with isolation, perhaps try counselling and reach out to Sue Ryder’s online counselling.
Take it one day at a time and try find the best path to cope
4 Likes
Omg thats awful … i hope youre gonna sue them !!! Please do !! Xx
@Ilovehorses my partner also died from heart failure- he had no symptoms whatsoever just suddenly died . I’m still in shock . Did your man have any symptoms? I’m wondering if this type of condition is usually so sudden . Not that it really makes any difference I suppose.
3 Likes
@Ilovehorses the day before my partner dies we called 111 because he felt off colour no emergency though . They told him to take paracetamol and the next morning he was fine . He’d made a gp appointment to discuss a shoulder pain from falling down stairs but he was perfectly well . Like yours , he suddenly became breathless and died in the gp surgery. I’m shocked beyond measure and will never get over his loss . There were no symptoms at all other than momentarily becoming breathless . This disease seems random and difficult to detect . I’m absolutely heartbroken xxx
1 Like
@Ilovehorses im finding life very difficult to navigate. Making decisions about things like housing is currently my difficulty . Without my man I can’t settle anywhere. I’m considering going back to the house I left where we previously rented. It’s being renovated and I have been given assurances by the landlord and estate agent I can go back , take the tenancy . I just need to wait until April . Now April can’t come quick enough- I will be gutted if it falls through. It’s day to day living that I struggle with and also not being able to say goodbye destroys me . I have to learn to accept things I cannot change xxx
3 Likes
@Ilovehorses @Ladysuisei6 I lost my partner similar to yours although he never complained of feeling ill. He struggled with his cough at times but took an inhaler. I found him passed away when I returned from work. The post mortem said he died from exacerbation of COPD and secondary a heart condition. It’s not getting any easier I’m just having to get used to being without him. We didn’t have children together but he had a daughter who wasn’t in touch with him when he died. My friends have been very supportive but no one understands how I feel inside. My family are not close by but they phone me regularly ( 3 sisters and a brother) and I just try to get through every day. I’ve had a lot of anxiety but I’m getting therapy for it which helps . Take care
3 Likes
Hi @Polarbear7966
Keep talking to people on here we are xx all here for each other , this is so hard.
1 Like
It is its the hardest thing in my life i ever had to do … 
xxx
2 Likes
Yeh i get anxious since he went ! Its so bloody hard isnt it ? Nice your sisters and brother ring u 
mine cant be bothered … it might mean they have to do something for somebody else ! Huh … so sad isnt it all of it … that horrible alone feeling, when your so used to being a couple x
3 Likes
Same never felt anything anywhere near this bad before .
2 Likes
Yeh same … so very isolating isnt it ;( we didnt mind being alone because we knew they were gonna be in soon or just being around even if you werent really doing much they were just there as support - now we not got that anymore have we … its a bit like staring into the abyss some days xx
1 Like
I have anxiety too never had it before and I’m sure part of it is because I’m alone no kids or brothers or sisters.I feel like I’m on an Island on my own trying to survive I do have close friends who message me every day but they are either on the other side of the world or struggling with illness themselves.I have second cousins who are my closest relatives who will do anything for me if I ask but I don’t like asking for things they think I’m coping but I really am not.I never knew life could be so hard.
3 Likes
@Vixen my mental health has deteriorated massively since I lost Baz. I’m anxious all the time and I worry about so many different things that “ might “ go wrong. I have difficulty making sound decisions and when I decide on doing something, I worry I’ve done this right etc etc . It’s bloody exhausting. I do have some family support but actually for me , it’s my Baz who I want , so it doesn’t really matter . I know it sounds rather ungrateful, but if I can’t have him then at tbe moment, being with anyone else feels inferior. I can’t believe how life has turned out actually. How many more things can go wrong is the constant question to myself xxx
2 Likes
@Deb5 yes I know what you mean about just missing being part of a couple. I feel like I don’t fit in anywhere. I don’t actually want to fit in anywhere, I just want him back . I know it’s impossible but as time goes on I miss him more not less . I’m just not adapting to this solitary life .
I just hope the house is ready soon 
should be . I’m getting his ashes then so I can take him “ home” . I think this will help me come to terms with this new life I don’t want. I hope you are doing ok xxx
2 Likes
Oh my sentiments entirely ! Was never anxious about hardly anything and people dont really wanna know when youre a widow do they ? And ofcourse its cos you are suddenly alone doing everything yourself i think it is anyway xx
1 Like
@Ladysuisei6 I’m exactly the same I’ve gone from a confident person to a wreck who worries about everything 
x
2 Likes