Thank you Karie 
Yes, we were soul mates. My belief that we will eventually meet again keeps me going. Yes, our current perspectives make you think about when others have lost their loved ones. We just don’t know what it’s really like until we’ve been there do we?
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then he be waiting for you. a couple know when they are soul mates. i may have thought i loved before chip but i knew deep down he was my soulmate xx
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Hi Cherrydrops, I’m so sorry for your loss, I lost my husband 6 wks ago, and I am totally lost, over the last few years, he had been very poorly after he broke his back and we spent all our time together, we couldn’t bare to be apart, he passed away just a few days before our 11th wedding anniversary, we had planned a holiday, I now spend all my time crying and feeling very alone, at times I’ve just wanted to end it all, but I think to myself that my Pete would hate the thought of my crying so much and feeling such deep anguish, when he first passed away I started a journal just between us, telling him how I feel and what I’ve done, maybe this is something that might be help, stay strong we are there for each other x
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Marilyn, your not moaning, when you lose your soulmate and best friend you have every right to let off steam, we’re there for one another x
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That really could have be me writing that, exactly how I feel! 
x
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That is how I have been my husband passed away a year on the 24th April and I had begun to feel better not so many tears BUT with this situation I have had so many tears I feel I have slipped back so much!! It just brings so much back when you are on your own all day, oh how I miss him! I know I am not the only one and I am maybe luckier than a lot but… x
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I feel your pain thought I had took a few steps forward but now gone back a few steps - hoping when this has all blown over I can begin to start healing a little
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Barlaw sorry to hear you lost you husband but you are right Pete wouldn’t want you like this he loved you and wanted you to be happy. The journal is a great idea im doing the same. I lost chip on the 22nd February this year i have wrote to him every night. it helps. I do feel when i writing away that im writing him a letter that he will read. then i realise i wont be sending it but i do hope he can still read it. I want to still share my life with him. please look after your self if your feeling down pop on here and speak to someone x
Hiya,knoww here you are lost mne in February and this lockdown is bad for everybody but grieving we have a double whammy.
Although he suffered for four years it is selfish .to wish him back but you still would like that,although though not to suffer.
Dont know how we gat through each day hour by hour day by day but we have to.
We will never foget but hopefully when the Country ntry gets back to some sort of normality it may help to see peaople family friends neighbours
In the meantime we must hang on there that is what they would wish.
If ever you want to chat I will answer .
Take Care.
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Yes Karie, writing a journal is really helpful. I write to Dave most days, sometimes just about how much I miss him, sometimes to tell him specific things. It’s such a trying time at the moment, if it helps it’s worth doing x
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Hi cherry drops,
My Husband of 40 years died in January , took him to hospital on
the Sunday and Monday he was gone for ever, I can feel your pain and
understand you not wanting to live but not wanting to die , the shock
and struggling to understand why , I want to scream and shout and I cry
on and off all day I go to his grave and it seems unreal it’s all like a nightmare.
I have a loving close family and grandchildren they love me and miss Dad/Grandad and it’s extra painful as we are all in lockdown aren’t we , can’t
get any worse can it , I can’t give you words of wisdom or help in any way only
to let you know I care and I am thinking of you and the others that are suffering and grieving. I do pray and ask for help to bear the pain, I will cope
and you will cope, one hour at a time one day at a time let’s see how we go.
With love and prayers to you and all who are suffering
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This is such a terrible time for us, my husband passed away on the 24th April last year so I am coming up to the year! I find it hard to believe it is a year as it only seems like yesterday! I still have days when I spend it crying and days when I feel a bit more positive! What I find so hard to come to terms with is I never got to say goodbye as the hospital rang me at 5.20am and I got there at 5.40am and they told me he passed 10mins before!! I sat with him every day morning to night and in end just missed him by 10mins! I just have this thought that he was thinking why I wasn’t there with him, it hurts so much! I cared for him months before he died so I not only lost my husband but a way of life, I have a good family and I pray every night that life will get better. It does help when you read these messages to know that you are not the only one in this situation xx
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I feel your pain lost my husband jan 2019 and it still hurts and I still cry a lot but it was getting a little easier until lockdown and now I seem to have took a few steps back. It’s hard I know but two of my friends who are just over 2 years into widowhood assure me that eventually the pain begins to fade and life becomes more acceptable . Without wishing my life away I hold onto that thought and try to be hopeful-
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Hi, I hope I word this right, I too went through the same as you & didn’t get to the hospital in time & have felt tortured by this.
However after much thinking I feel it’s important to remember all the times you were there when you were needed.
After a lot of reading & speaking to McMillan I’ve found a lot of people pass away between midnight & 7am, it’s quiet and calm/peaceful & maybe that’s the right time for our loved ones to let go, also our loved ones would know how difficult it would be for us to witness the end, I feel my husband choose to go when I wasn’t there as his last loving gesture towards me, I cherish this.
This is just my view but it has helped me come to terms with things.
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I actually researched this Flower garden and your so right. Its very true a lot of people dont want to put their loved ones through the pain of being there when it happens. If you was not meant to be there then there was no way you would have made it. If i hadn’t stayed 3 days with chip i would have been at home as well 03.50 am. i was actually looking up why people tend to have a good day before they pass and i came across a lot of information about this and it explained a lot to me. Chip had a day and a half where he was so well i was beaming and thought he is on the mend the same happened with my dad. I wanted to know why and it explains a lot and also covers why your loved ones choose to leave while you are not there. So dont feel bad it was what they wanted xx
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A lot of people have told me that they don’t like their love ones to be there with them, even the nurses told me that, but it is still very hard to come to terms with! We have been hit twice as this virus is just making it worse as we have more time to think about things which just makes it harder! I am really trying very hard to pick myself up, my family are very good and trying their best to help, even though it is through technology! x
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Hi Cherrydrops
I also lost my husband in January after a very long cancer battle. The current isolation is making it so much worse for everyone but particularly for those of us bereaved who are now living alone . I have started a journal and write in it most days, I am scared I forget the things I loved about him. Also at the back I have a list of things that I have managed to achieve on my own and each day I have a small to do list. I cannot sit still as when I do the pain of grief overwhelms me so I try to keep busy .I genuinely believe that the pain of grief is underestimated and most people expect you to be yourself again which is of course impossible.Take care and try to concentrate on one day at a time.
Mary
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Thank you Mary it is very hard I still think ooh I’ll tell Pete that. Yes I’ve been thinking about a journal. This isolation gives you loads of time to think about things. What you said how you said it. I used to moan at him about the way he hung the washing out. I wish he was still here doing it now. I miss him dreadfully I can’t function properly without him he was everything to me. I’m crying while I write this. Xx
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Hi Cherrytops
I cry most days too and there are no words to comfort you losing your soulmate . I find it so much worse at weekends and of course Easter weekend is even worse not being able to see the family . Hang in there and take care xx
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Apologies for spelling error with your name xx