Hi all, after reading all the posts about I would like to say that even though you are in the same boat as me you were so lucky to have had your loved ones for so long.
Pete and I only got 5 years together and he died very suddenly with no warning.
We had so many plans, to get married and to travel the world, we bought a cottage in May 2021 and were in the middle of doing it up when he passed away in November,he was 59.
We had hoped to start travelling in 2020 until the pandemic put paid to that.
I feel so cheated, it took me so long to find the love of my life and now Iâm left to plod through each day, itâs so hard to take.
I am just existing now, and I wish to be with my love.
I treasure the memories as they were the best 5 years of my life, but it was way too short, we had both worked hard all our lives and felt it was our to do the things we had always dreamed of.
Just keep asking myself why life is so cruel?
Muldool
so sorry you had such a short time together it doesnt seem fair and must be really hard for you to accept that he was taken from you so suddenly
the thing i keep asking is why does there have to be always one left behind is there some sort of plan somewhere for us hoope one day we can all make sence of whats happened
take care
pat
Hi Sheila
nice to know your not the only one
the smart phones are good to be able to put the gps on
i always remember once i tried to take a short cut through all the estate where i live the way that patrick used to drive round and just ended up walking in a circle i am ok if i can go in a straight line but in and out of different streets i get lost or end up back where i started
i remeber once someone asked me directions i like you knew where it was i gave them directions to where i thought it was when i told patrick he said they probably ended up in china because i had sent them the wrong way so i just say i dont know now
pat
Hi Lonely
Thatâs happened to me too. Went in the fish and chip shop came out and went to get in a car which I thought was ours. Realised it wasnât before I got in properly apologised to the driver, turned around to see mark and my daughter laughing at me. We did have some laughs. It sometimes feel that I donât laugh properly now.
Xx
Dear Sheila
Your posts almost always make me smile, I see so many similarities in your couples humour. My husband wasnât a fan of pizza âwhy pay all that money for a lump of doughâ
I told him I wanted to go on a cruise, been saying it for years & he always replied âyoure on your ownâ
We both knew we would end up going, he would do anything to make me happy.
Dear @Looby19 & @Lonely pat & Sheila
Your stories of being directionally challenged made my smile.
I left work one lunchtime to return a blouse in Glasgow city centre. On way back I got lost but seen a bus heading for the general direction. So I followed it.
Stopped behind the bus at every stop, on my motorbike full bike leathers too.
Gave everyone a good laugh, my husband just laughed at my daftness. I thought it was clever borne of daftness. Our life together was such a laugh, such fun for us and those around us.
Yes I miss being us so much.
Whatever time measures for an individual, itâs for them to decide on the future. Sudden loss is awful, illness, very bad with no possibility of cure. We had the latter. But being honest and the ability to talk during oneâs relationship about health n death certainly helped us.
I nearly lost my life in police service and my wife was everything in caring. We both knew what was happening through changes⌠we went with the the flow⌠being honest was our life.
Good luck to everyone
Hi mungo
i think being in the police service is a hard life to cope with on its own so many go out and never return
me an my husband always talked about how ill he was and i always knew what he had and what he was going through and always talked about what we would do if we were the one that was left but deep down i knew it would be me never made it any easier though but at least understood what was happening in the end when the doctor spoke to me at the end he asked me if i knew how bad he was and if i understood what was going on i told him i did and also what i knew of his different illnesses he he had and he said it was nice to talk to people that understood everything because so many people dont then dont understand that they were so ill
take care
pat
My husband was not a fan of pizza either, he always said it was âvery expensive cheese on toastâ
I miss him very much we met when we were 8 and I first moved to London, and went to primary and secondary school, not really good friends until we dated briefly at 14. Then together forever at 17. We had 31 years, some hard times when he was out of work but everyday was a blessing and I wouldnât change a second. We bought our house and got married in Vegas and had two fantastic children, but there should have been so much more to look forwards to. Watching our children grow (they are only 8 and 14) seeing what they do with their lives, maybe grandchildren one day. Then time for us, to travel more, move out of the city, slow down and enjoy each other. But now there is nothing, beyond raising the kids and work. Itâs been 7 months but sometimes I canât believe heâs gone, so suddenly at 48, no age at all, no warning no time to say anything.
much too young makes you wonder why all this happens when people have to go so young and so sudden without any warning i was blessed with 56years together and nearly 54 married but still wish we could have had a few more but hed been ill for some years and over the last 6 months of his life struggling with being on oxygen it would have ben his 72nd birthday in may
and like you i would live it all over again
take care
pat
Hi thank you for your last post . It made me smile x take care x
thats so funny
pat
Have to say I did similarâŚ
Was at a wedding reception and need was extreme! First thing I noticed was a childâs potty!
Found cubicle was bit tighter than usual. 15min later, hands washed etc and opened the door to leave and gents was opposite!
My late wife could have written a book on my misgivings!
when we loolk back at all the stupid things we have done in our lives it gives us something to make others laugh and us too its something we need at this time in our lives to show we are all human because sometimes we dont know what we are but these funny and silly memories is what will keep us going
and i must say yours do make me laugh and i tell my daughters about them and they say it sounds just like me
pat
Hi Sheila
yes thats how i feel we lived our lives to the full my girls have often looke at photots of us both when we were young and the words are oh look how young you were we loved going out on the weekend to the working mens clubs with the girls and after they got older and wasnt with us any more
we would dance to the live bands from start to finish
yes it would be lovely to live the life we had over again and not change a thing
perhaps in our next life we will be able to do that fingers crossed
i am sure they are looking down on us and having a good laugh about us remembering all these stupid things we did and still do
the best thing is we have got those amazing memories that we did share with no regrets
pat
At my wifes funeral i had âyou are my sunshineâ played for her and as i said about her in my eulogy she was my sunshine she made everything brighter the bad days ok and the great days even better. I live in the shade now and the last 8 months have been so depressingly lonely so unbearable and so long without her that the idea of living for a long period of time potentially without her is nothing more then a prison sentence.
Hi
I know what you mean i lost my husband 5 and half months ago now it is lonely and hard to get used to we had been married nearly 54 years together for 56 since we were 15 even though he had been ill for a long time it doesnt make losing him any easier
you never get over it but we just have to do our best to live with it and get used to a different kind of life easier said than done i know but we have to think of what they would want us to do and im sure your wife is still with you helping you along and wanting you to be there for the family she had to leave behind
i still live one day at a time make no plans only when i take my dog out and go on my monthly dog walks with all my friends and meet up with my friend once a week with her 2 dogs the best you can do is try and see and speak to people and keep busy and try to get out it does help its the nights that are the worst for me i can keep busy in the day to make myself as tired as possible so i can sleep
take care
pat