I feel the same Muldool. It will be a year tomorrow for my husbands cardiac arrest. Sometimes it feels like yesterday and other times it feel a long time ago when I think of my sister and I sitting in the living room waiting to phone the hospital for news on how he was doing. It’s going to be so hard x
3 Likes
You ramble all you like, people have no right to tell you to move on. A so called friend told me 4 weeks after Neil died told me to go back to my maiden name because I wasn’t a wife or married any more needless to say she isn’t a friend anymore. People are thoughtless some mean it some don’t. I don’t think we will ever get of this just learn to adapt to this new life, a life I know hate xx
2 Likes
The loneliness is the worse, people tell me how well am doing bit they have know Idea do they. They think because we put a smile on that’s ok . They have know right at all to tell people to move on no matter how long it has been since we lost them. It was 4 months Sunday since i lost my Neil. My life is dark and lonely I haven’t even got out if bed today am still in it just lying here 
Take care xx
2 Likes
Bless you Nel. I’ll be thinking about you. Big hugs xx
2 Likes
Awww Lisefin. My heart goes out to you. I hope you can get out of bed tomorrow. It’s a very small thing but maybe if you can sit in the sunshine a little bit it will help.
I feel your pain. We truly understand
Much love
Janey xx
2 Likes
Oh Rose
i do so feel for you its another one of the 1sts so hard to cope with its good that you wrote it down to get it off your chest at better than just sitting there and bottleing all up as on here you are among friends that know how you feel so far i have been through my first birthday, christmas, we didnt do valentine our first aniversay and it will his birthay at the end of may so that will be another first
it is weird how we all get through the days,months and maybe years but its something we do in their memory to make them proud and what they would have wanted us to do
take care Rose and all the best think of you
pat
2 Likes
Thank you Janey, hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. Take care
Much love Lisa xx
2 Likes
I really hear what you are saying and know how you feel it was 4 months for me sat but 2 of my daughters took me out for th morning and it helped even though i went a bit quiet now and then
hope you feel a bit better tomorrow but do what is best for you
all the best
pat
2 Likes
Nel I totally understand how you feel, on Sunday it was the anniversary of my husband being put on the ventilator, so it was the last time I spoke to him on facetime. The next 13 days were the worst of my life phoning the hospital 3 times a day for an update. But worse was when the hospital phoned me to give me an update. Then on day 13 a consultant phoned to tell me that his condition was unsurvivable. That day plays over and over along with the moment I told the doctors to switch off the machine. I feel like I killed him but my rational side knows that’s not the case but I can’t shake the guilt and now nearly 12 months on I can’t move past it. I’m heartbroken just existing not living
Xx
2 Likes
Take care and do what feels right for you. I agree the loneliness is the worst. I still have 2 daughters and future son in law living at home, but I’m still lonely even with a houseful. Probably because the one person I really want to talk to isn’t here. Xx
1 Like
Thank you Pat xx
Thanks for all messages it is good to write down how we feel always friends on here to answer which is so sad though as we are all hurting we all have a lot in common
I will be thinking of you tomorrow Nel hope you will be with family we would all like to turn the clock back I feel so angry with Nhs
Hope you can get some sleep
Love to all xx
2 Likes
I am nearly 9 months on and like you cannot move on. People say it gets better with time. No it doesn’t. Until you go through losing your husband you really cannot imagine the pain, and trauma you go through. Grieving cannot be rushed. I think mine will last a lifetime. Sending hugs of comfort xx
2 Likes
Thank you for your reply no it will not get better we have it for rest of our life don’t we another day I will try to keep busy for the family but it’s tough not what we all want to do is it without our other halves missing him so much
All take care xx
3 Likes
HI Loely
that is so sad we met when i was 15 and he was nearly 16 but we never really had a seiouse relaionship for about 12 months after as we were so young we just used to meet up in a foursome and strolle around together chatting and having a laugh then it went from frienship to boyfriend and girlfiend then more seriouse as we went along and ended as just the 2 of us and then in feb 1968 we got married and together till he died in nov 21
the years just flew passed never really thought of getting old never mind one of us passing
but had a great life and no regrets and we did everything we wanted to do and went every where we always said we wanted to go so i havent got any iwish we had done this or done that because we had done it all and that pleases me in a way that we did even to our dream holiday to memphis to go and see graceland
think the main thing is we all had gool lives with our other halves with no regrets and like many of us if i could have my life over would do exactly the same
take care
pat
4 Likes
That is sad it will always be a special day for you
Like so many special days for us all which I know I was lucky to have it’s was so hard that it was so sudden no warning I will now never know how it would have been getting old tigger as we did not feel old at 65 thought we would have lit longer just don’t know how I can get through life with out him I know we have to some how hope you all have a ok day I will try and keep busy not easy as I think what is the point but guess I can not let the house and garden get a mess
Take care xx
3 Likes
it will always be harder for you as it was so sudden and not expected and no 65 is not old
we all wish for a few extra years
even though i knew it was going to happen sooner than later because of how ill he was specialy when they started him on oxygen it was still hard to take its how fast it happens one day you sitting at home talking next rushed in hospital and within 24 hours he died
always best to keep busy specialy now with better weather and im sure he would be proud of you for carrying on and keeping the house and garden nice
look after yourself
pat
3 Likes
Thank you take care xx
1 Like
that sounds just like us but we had 3 girls
patrick would never go on a cruise said if you didnt like it you cant just go and get away from it like you can in a hotel
he liked his freedm on holiday talking to all the locals
pat
1 Like
that is so funny but must say i am the same in strange places i tend to forget what door to go through
i have never driven i can navigate with the sat nav on my phone by watching the road and saying turn next left its the first turning round the round about but to drive myself i think they would have had to send out a search party for me
patrick used to do the same hed sit on a bench somewhere or outside a cafe while i went round the shops always got lost going back just made believe i got talking
i remember trying to get in the wrong car because it looked like ours and waiting for 10 mins by a car thinking well where has he vanished to until a strange man come up and opened the doors and patrick was in our car 2 cars away killing himself laughing watching me
dont you feel a fool but funny at the same time
pat
2 Likes