Hi Julest and Valda
I agree that having a child to think about helps enormously. I try not to get tearful in front of my son. He often comes and cuddles me when he sees me looking lost and sad. I just have to keep going for him.
Also working helps too. I went back after a week, very early but it kept my mind busy with something else.
I had one meltdown with my boss after I’d been back about a week. We had words about something trivial, I just walked outside in tears, got some air and came back into the office after about 15 minutes. It wasn’t his fault, I was just feeling very fragile that day and obviously felt very angry with everything still.
It’s been fine since, in fact at times we all have a laugh in the office which is a real tonic. The first time it felt so strange and wrong to laugh. Then I thought mum would be happy!!
We will have good and bad days it’s all part of this horrible journey. Sending hugs to all. Kate xxx
Thinking of you Valda.
People say the daftest things and when you are back in work people seem to want to talk and sometimes its too much. I dont think people know what to say. I had a phone conversation with an oncology nurse yesterday and she was asking how was i then when i said my mum had passes 30th Dec she said Ah well shes gone now. What on earth was that supposed to mean ?
I had another phone call from a neighbour asking was i over it now. I honestly am flabbergasted at the way people respond. I just hope I never responded to people like that.
Thankfully I don’t work anymore so it’s easy for me to avoid people. I have tried to stay in the house for weeks as I cant bear bumping into people. Done online shopping and just put myself first. Got up, eaten and slept when i want which to be fair has worked for me . I have locked the door so anyone that calls I can monitor and if I don’t wish to see them then i don’t answer the door. Simple as that. I don’t want to feel worse after someone has left no matter how good their intentions are.
I have kept busy today doing sorting of things in my bedroom so I have got through most of the day without crying too much That is a big achievement for me.
Am here for you anytime you want to message
Deborah x
Hi Julest,
My mum passed on Dec 30th and her funeral was 6th Feb so I totally understand what you are going through. I take my hat off to you going back to work already. There is so much stress in the workplace these days and people want you back far too soon. See how it all goes and take some sick leave for a few days if you cant manage.
Thinking of you
Deborah x
My heart goes out to you Emma to lose your Mum so young and in such a traumatic way. You obviously did an amazing job trying to save her.
I lost my mum a year ago and we shared the same sort of relationship, always chatting & spending time together. They say the more you love the harder you grieve. My mum had a long life and I was able to be with her at home when she passed but the pain and void in our lives are the same.
Probably, however we lose our mums, doesn’t change the loss we feel. I hope you can, in time, remember that wonderful relationship you shared over this present pain.
Sending love.
Hi Doren,
I am sorry you lost your mum, its a pain i wouldnt wish upon anyone. Yes i heard a quote as well that said a broken heart is a heart that has been loved. I cherish the memories of my mum and the time we spent together i just hope one day i look back at them and not cry, just look at them with joy and remember how full of life my mum was, not seeing that image of her dying repeadly going on like its just on a loop.
I am glad you got to be at home with your mum when she passed, she was surround by the people who loved her most
Thank you for reaching out, sendinf strenght and love your way xxx