I am really sorry to hear that, Jackie. x
Some friend, Jooles45
Sheilaā¦
ā¦ slightly different for us, my Richard had not long been offered a good retirement package along with a few other office staff which Richard jumped at, which at 39 years employment was just one year short of his father at 40 years at the same company, i had said to Richard would he have liked to have matched his father at 40 years employment but he took advantage of the package offeredā¦it was only just soon after we got engaged, then set up home together, Richard telling me that i didnāt need to workā¦then for most of our next 14-15 years, our-my best years back home inside that house was spent going out for a few hours of the day mostly at weekends or Bank Holidays to the place i have previously posted of, the Stately Homes and gardens and tented craft fairs, the NGS open gardensā¦well life for us was this pattern, that was until i got diagnosed with with d***n PP-MSā¦this put a stop to our previous life, then we moved here, 140-150 miles away, and the rest is history, soon after we both lost our dog number three, now i have also lost my Richard, all less than in three yearsā¦
Sheliaā¦
ā¦ yes indeed, i too ask myselfā¦" why must everything changeā¦" yes the good things, i know in this life of ours there has to be some give and take, but their now seems to be more take than our giveā¦
I used to watch Emmerdale and Coronation Street with my mum. We liked the same stuff. She was always so bright and observant. Now my Dad has football on alot!! We both hated football. Miss her company. She gave me energy, and interest in things. My Dad isnāt the same unfortunately.
Hello, KatyB46,
Welcome to this club, which we never wanted to be a member of. Have you had a check-upPreformatted text with your doctor? Grief is so stressful, any physical symptoms can appear .
Take care.
Blessings
MaryL
Hi Katy,
Itās awful isnt it. My mum lived for her television. She would have been happy never going out again.
I get no interest from tv now that I cant talk with her about it.
She would love the crime dramas that are currently on with david Tennant and the one on the Whitehouse farm murders
When did your mum die?
Cheryl x
Mum loved a film. I often sit and think of her empty chair at home and the tv off. As dad not fussed about Tv. She would have loved to have gone to see the Judy Garland film. And the new war film. She loved action films and a gritty thriller. As long as not much violence or swearing. I feel so sorry for her. No longer here. Not living her normal day to day life. On a Saturday we would get together for lunch and a gossip and should would be over the moon with Brexit.
Jackie,
I am feeling quite irritated by your post. if I had not been prescribed medication, I would have died before now. It is rather sweeping to condemn all medical intervention.
I am going to take a few days break from this bereavement group.
Mary aka the pill popper.
I am not leaving, dear Sheila,
I am just taking a few days off, I have had chronic back pain all day today. I have taken pain killers, all day, not too many. I always check that I am not taking them too soon/or too near together.
I am pleased that you had 8 years extra with your Peter and that he didnāt mind the medication.
Back soon,
Love, Mary x
Hope you feel better soon Mary. If they tipped me upside down and shook me I would rattle. 
Donāt worry Sheila and Mary, you dont have to leave on my account, i shall leave insteadā¦I feel quite shaken to come in and see Maryās post-response to me, a post i was certainly not expectingā¦oh well, i guess if i have " irritated you, " that is the end of our corresponding friendship, seems nothing good ever lasts foreverā¦i have to admit i feel rather sadā¦but your response to me has come over loud and clear Maryā¦
Jackieā¦
Dear Mary
My husband had a major heart attack when he was 37 - if he had not taken his medication daily he would have died a very long time ago - I managed to have another 23 years with him , every one of which I am thankful for. If medicine had not progressed old age would still considered to be 40 !. I have the most crippling migraines sometimes and to try and live through the pain of them without pain killers of some kind does not bear thinking about. And mine is a very minor illness. Yes some people do prefer to try and get by without taking medication - and that is of course up to them. Medicine constantly progresses and great strides have been made in curing so many things - obviously there is still so much it has to do - but it is not magic - if only it were as none of us would be on this forum. You are so brave with what you have to put up with - as are many with terrible pain and disease. I have a friend that has been in a wheelchair since he was 37 - he is one of the funniest most engaged people you could meet and is often in a lot of pain - but you would never know it - and Gary and I were proud to be his friend. He and his wife continue to be my friends - it may only be long phone calls but they travelled over a hundred miles to come to Garyās funeral . Now I am on a ramble - sorry it is Garyās birthday tomorrow so feeling a little emotional. Another first I guess.
Take care and please do not leave the forum as you offer such wise counsel.
Trisha xxx
Hi Mary please don"t leave you seem such a kind lady who is on this horrible journey like us all. I love reading your posts. Hoping to read some more. Love and hugs to you. x Carol xx
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Dear TrishaF,
Thank you for your encouraging message, I am very sorry about your husband and glad that you had another 23 years with him. I can understand that you are feeling emotional, it is Stanās birthday this month too and I am dreading it. It is my late brotherās birthday the day after Stanās.
My post to J was completely out of character, I intended it to be a pm but it must have hit a blip. I should not have said those nasty things, the only reason I can give is that I have been in chronic pain all day and Jās post hit a raw nerve. I doubt that I would be here if it hadnāt have been for medication. I do not intend to leave the forum, I could be banned, I suppose.
Once again, Trisha, thank you.
I hope that you will gain peace, however long it may take.
Mary x x x x
Dear Carol,
Thank you for your message, I really appreciate it.
I do not intend to leave the forum. I have learned so much since I became a member. I should not have said those nasty things, I have explained to another member the reason I did.
Take care and once again, thank you.
Mary x x x
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Dear Mary
I am sure Jackie will realise it was not meant. Pain makes us react out of character and I am sorry you have had a bad day. It may be daft but I bought the most beautiful card for Gary today. I will write in it and tell him how much I miss him, his humour and his love and will tuck it into the journal I write in - something that helps me as I pour my feelings out to him in there - just like talking to him.
And now for that cup of tea
xxxx
jackie, i really do feel you have many misconceptions regarding medications. i have for many years advocated alternative therapies, until a personal tragedy, of which i shall not go into here, my father suffered many years of ill health, in fact since not long after one if my sisters was born in December 1959, most of his conditions resulted in his time as a merchant seaman during the war, then as a worker in the leather works. as his illnesses started to destroy his body, in later life he developed what they called airways disease, commonly known today as COPD, had he taken your stance on medication and refused the 27 tablets a day, he would have died long before seeing his first grandchild,
medication kept him alive a further 38 years, so please donāt advocate medication kills, because it does not. i can understand you have your own reasons for bantering on about medication, but it truly does help people to live . without her angina pills, my gran would not have lived to the ripe old age she did.
Iām sorry if my comments upset you Jackie, but you have gone on and on about Richardās medication killing him, when in fact by him taking his medication it most definitely gave you a lot more time together.
now there are some if you on here may feel Iāve been rather harsh in my comments, that is your prerogative. i stand by them. i have seen first hand how medication helps to keep our loved ones with us, my father survived his illnesses by over 40 years in total. thankfully, my husbandās passing was sudden and he didnāt have to undergo the tests and subsequent hospital visits/treatments etc
Iām sorry if my comments have upset you Jackie, but conventional medication is tried and tested and as a qualified alternative therapist, any alternative therapist worth their salt will tell you their methods do not and must not replace conventional medicine but compliment it.
on that note, Iām off to bed. and shall address any flack tomorrow should it be warrented
blessings
Jenā
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Hi Jackie please donāt leave donāt think Mary meant anything by her comment, I do think you need this forum because I know I do it keeps me going, when Iām feeling down which is most days itās good to come on here and read the messages even if I donāt comment, I do worry about you take care xxxx
My mum had COPD for many years. She passed way on the 1st January. She started with a few tablets and over a number of years this increased, not only to tablets but oramorph and oxygen. I personally am not one for taking tablets but with that said I do not have severe pain. I think we have to trust doctors when they increase or recommend medication. Did they help my mum, yeah I think they did, I think it was just her illness which was progressing which needed the extra medication and I do think she was pleased of it in order to take away some of the pain. She ended up with COPD and severe back pain so with no medication, I hate to even imagine what she would have gone through.
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