I still miss him

I lost my best friend, my husband, 7 years ago. He was 61 and I was 59. I am just plodding on. Our children are not far away and grandchildren too but I’m still alone. Trying hard to get through all that life throws at me but without that personal support it is hard. I have a small group of friends but have never been good at social events due to anxiety so very often find excuses not to join in. I can’t change how I’ve always been. Does anyone else relate to my situation?

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Dear Meg3

I’m pleased you have reached out to our community because there will be someone here who totally understands what you are experiencing and feels the same or similar. That is why it’s so good to talk here, it is less daunting than speaking face to face.

We do have a counselling line and self help grief chat, which may or may not be something you’d like to look at in time. I’ll add the contact here for future reference; meanwhile, keep in touch and just keep doing what you are comfortable with. You lost your husband at quite a young age, it still hurts I know, and I’m glad you have a family close by to support you, but to you I say - do what’s best for you.

Grief Self Help platform which talks about some of the feelings that you’re experiencing. You can find it here: https://selfhelp.sueryder.org/ 3

We also offer free online counselling if this is something you might want to explore. You can register here: [https://www.sueryder.org/online-bereavement-counselling

All the best Meg,
Miche24

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Hiya lost my husband 16month ago I feel the same have 2 wonderful children but life is hard don’t think it will ever be okay my husbands birthday today and our wedding anniversary tomorrow so just plodding on lv annie x

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Hope you’re ok today. It’s hard to cope with these special days. I always try to keep busy on those days especially but it doesn’t always work. Keep plodding on x

I am in the same situation I get more hurt on here when people say they have family at least they have a link with there loved one which is a big bonus I have no link so everything has gone now he is gone. Not much point in going on but I suppose I have to.

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I empathise fully!!! with your grieving experience as I too have nobody!! The difference between us is that the love of my life was my father whom I looked after for 12 years, my hero

Hi Patrick

It seems you and Jessica are in the same position, having no other family members. I’m sorry you are in this position, it’s very painful. I hope you will find you can both support each other and gain some comfort from your correspondence.

Miche24 x

It’s not a nice road to be travelling on your own but we’ve no option!!! I actually like posting and empathising with other people as it shows me that I’m not on my own

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I tried to reach out to someone to talk to today they did not want to know to busy with their own life’s so sat here again on my own

I hear you Jessica I’m just lying here in bed ruminating, I don’t want to get up or actually do anything

I have to get up I have two dogs but I have had to let them in the garden as my leg is so bad I cannot walk them. Will get myself a little lunch in a minute to fill the time in. Nice chatting to you
Jessica

I’m just after forcing myself to get up and am now just sitting down in my living room watching TV…I’m actually starting counselling on Monday but not expecting much the…I find the mornings most difficult and my thoughts the most difficult of all

Hi Meg - I know how you feel. I lost my hubby and best friend 16 months ago at the same age as you and it’s rotten. You seem to lose all your self confidence and the world seems a scary place. I don’t know whether it gets any better or how you even start a new life. I clean my house, and go to work, that’s my life. My friends have their lives and have moved on. I am so thankful I have my kids as I would be lost. Come and chat anytime x

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Hi Viv, just waking up and drinking tea back in bed. I’m so sorry for your loss. There are so many people in the same situation as us. I often wonder how many others are struggling to start another day. I do have a friend who lives on her own and we try to keep each others heads above water. Hope you have a good day today x

Hi Patrick
I have had councelling but found it good to talk to someone but in the end it was like going round in circles with the same theme. I like you have just forced myself to get out of bed and face another lonely day. Got to cook some dinner later on today as not been eating well. Hope your day gets a little better
Jessica

I’m starting to realise actually I know that this is a road that I’m going to have to travel alone but I’ll do anything to get a bit of help

I still feel lost, nineteen months have passed, people think I am doing ok, but I am not, feel very low just now. I try to remind myself that there are others who feel like this too and I know there are, but what to do to try and help the way I feel, I have no idea. As others say, you have to keep plodding on. Thank goodness for my daughter, she is an adult now but she is my reason to keep going. Take care all, x

Dear Patrick,

Good luck with the counselling, I really hope it helps. You do have your friends on here too, and each day there is something new to say or discover and share, and other people to help. You sound very kind and it comes across; I’m sure we are all willing you on to find the help you need. Well done, Patrick.

Take care,
Miche24

Thanks for your kind words!!!

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Hello Meg, sorry for you loss. My brother an I lost our mother in 2006. We where absolutely devastated but we promised ourself not to be beaten. We drove around the county side and visited all the manor houses we could find so that we had something to do. And, it worked. Perhaps you could do that too.

My brother died suddenly about 4 months ago. Most of my friends have a family and they do not have the time to talk to me all the time.

A friend, who is 85 years old, lost his wife in 2019 and my brother used to talk to to him on the phone ever so often. Since the death of my brother, this friend and I talked via “Jitsi Meet” to each other. - Perhaps you could find someone here in this group. - (Jitsi Meet is like Zoom but free to use and you do not even have to register.)
Take care. Nick

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