I’ve lost my soul mate

Hi Ade thank you so much. Have you tried the counselling on here you wont wait too long and might be worth a try. Yes here we go again another night of loneliness, ache and panic. God when will this ease? Sending my love and hope for a peaceful few hours. K xxxx

Hi Katie I haven’t but no thanks for your kind suggestion I may try I just feel what words can fill this void of longing just those little conversations about who’s passing the window or comments about a programme it’s so so lonely and no wonder they say loneliness is a killer I can see why it’s been very windy here in Newcastle so not been outdoors hope the weather was more pleasant when you were out I know what you mean the dread of opening the door that feeling of doom knowing another night spent alone your in my thoughts take care I’ll be around thus evening speak soon x

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My heart breaks for you all, but you know you have all ‘hit the nail on the head’, there is just no real caring. I have been as guilty as anyone in the past for not being there for friends and relatives who have loved and lost. I didn’t mean to be selfish I just didn’t understand. A friend has just sent me an e-mail (we live the opposite end of the country to each other, they moved last year) telling me that her husband is seriously ill. I can’t comfort her in person but I hope I can be there for her. I am going to do my very best for her. I will tell her to give me a call day or night regardless of time, If she need to talk, even in the middle of the night I hope she will call. Because now I understand just what it is like for myself, When my husband was very ill, still at home. I sat into the night listening for his breathing. Never have I felt so alone. His daughters didn’t help and my daughter lives in Spain. My son lives in ‘cloud cuckoo land’ most of the time and no use. I never want to hear of anyone having to live like that without support again. If just a few of us who are or have suffered so cruelly can offer ourselves to help just one other person then we won’t have lost our beloved partners for nothing.
I love going into the countryside and walking, I find it very therapeutic if bitter sweet as for years my husband would be with me. However as I walk I talk to him, letting him know where we are. Today I set off early through lovely countryside that never fails to lift my mood. I called into a church and prayed for all of us. I then met up with another woman and we walked and talked and then said our goodbyes. I might never see her again but I enjoyed our chat and she thanked me for giving her the time. This is what happens when you walk, especially when you have a dog with you.
I do agree that no amount of pills will take away this pain, it has to come from within when were ready.
Take care all of you Pat xxxx

Thankyou for your kind words means alot take care speak soon Pat xx

I’m sorry to hear about your friends husband also I know how those long nights cab be and the panic as they miss a breat and your heart goes you watch fir there chest moving too afraid to even close your eyes is utterly devastating pat never ever felt a pain like it so alone why is life so cruel I just want my life back have my home full of joy not sadness every where I look x

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Pat just wanted to say thank you for your prayers lets hope they give us peace. I am so sorry for your friend’s husband and what she’s going through. You will be a wonderful empathetic friend for her to have. Bless you Kxxxxxx

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Could you please give E a message please you are older and wiser than me she seems desperate thanks x

Hi pat Katie could you give E a message you both are older and wiser she’s very upset thankyou xx

Hi Ade have just replied to her. She would be so grateful to you for looking after her and showing her we all care. I will let you know if she replies. LoveK xxx

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So right, days and nights of sheer nightmarish proportions. Just like you I couldn’t sleep, just a quick doze sitting up, not wanting to miss one second with him. I still can’t stand that room he was in although it was my favourite room once. Decorated, changed some furniture but no use. The whole house is beginning to feel so ‘cold’, like you say just sadness and no joy. Wish I could just walk out of it.
xxx

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Thankyou so much I know when you feel like that you don’t care what you do through all of you lovely people im still hanging on thankyou xx

Sounds so familiar as you say scared you drop off for even a second as his breath would drop I’d feel under his nose all panicked long nights nothing takes the bittersweet memories away you are right if i could walk out i would and never look back Edward will always be in my heart just want a final cuddle all the times I’d be in the kitchen cooking tea he’d Potter on around me I wish for those days again so so bad thankyou for keeping me up until I see the doctors on Wednesday just told Katie I’ve been so close to doing on one more than occasion ending it all yous all have helped me thankyou xx

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