I want to be with my baby

I lost my 21yr old baby a week ago, I just want to go with her

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I am so sorry for your loss, I couldn’t see the way ahead when I lost my son in March, he was 35. All I can say is, minute by minute, hour by hour. Do things in your own time, no set rules. I found in the early days I would spend so much time in the shower, washing my hair over and over, it seemed to be my escape place. Do you have anyone you can talk to, partner, close friend. This site is amazing and I have found everyone is there for each other. Xx

I lost everything when she died.
In the last 18months I’ve lost my marriage, my dog, my baby was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer then my mother died 4 weeks before my baby.
I have nothing left

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My heart goes out to you, I am so sorry. I feel I’ve lost everything as well, my mum Oct 2020, Dad Dec 2021, my son March 2023. We can help you get through this, just keep talking. My ex husband committed suicide March 2020. I do have a partner and he is good to me. Little steps, minute by minute, have you a close friend you can talk too xx

I just want to die, I can’t cope with the pain

Is there a neighbour or friend you can text or ring to sit with you and talk, or cry with them. Minute by minute, deep breathes. Just keep messaging on here, we are all here to help each other. Big hug xx

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Just keep talking to people if you can, we are all here for you

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How can I live without her?
She was my world. I was with her every minute of every day.
She was first diagnosed with leukaemia when she was 8yrs old and I’ve never left her side, through its return and a bone marrow transplant to her recent brain tumour diagnosis (it’s the cure that kills).
I hate the world

I’m so very sorry, I lost both my parents to cancer it’s brutal . Do you have friends and family to lean on ? You have been so very supportive and strong for your beautiful girl now it’s time for others to be strong and supportive for you. Are you in touch with your GP?

I too hated the world, and still do in many ways with the loss of my son. You can do this, minute by minute. Maybe contact your GP or have you got some friends or neighbours you can talk to. Just keep messaging on here. We are all here for each other xx

I’m sorry, you are all being so kind but you can’t give me what I want.

You are in extreme pain and sadly there are other parents on here that know your pain, lean on them. Please please seek help from your GP you are important you matter :heart:

We can all help you as we have all experienced the pain you are in. Please ring your GP or if you can’t do it perhaps someone could do it for you. Keep messaging on here xx

I haven’t lost a child so can’t imagine that kind of pain but I did work with the Samaritans for a while a fair few years ago,. Please do consider giving them a call (they have a 24/7 phone line) and talk things through if your GP surgery is shut. Xx

It’s been 2 weeks today since I lost my reason to live.
I feel like everyone else has forgotten her already, no one talks about her, no one calls, no one mentions her unless it’s to post on their social media (my daughter had a lot of press coverage locally)
I hate the world and I want to go be with my baby but can’t find the help I need to do that

I found that no one has called ( not even my mum) since the funeral 2 weeks ago, no one knows what to say and my husband and son are not mentioning him, the support worker I had assigned to help with police and coroner , suggested contacting Samaritians especially at night when I having horrible thoughts, I have e-mailed them so they take a few days to reply but at least im getting all my thoughts and why im thinking them down

Thank you for understanding, it really helps when someone else actually knows what this grief feels like.
We haven’t had the funeral yet. I wanted a small private funeral but because of the circumstances it is going to be very public. I’m so full of anger and rage and despair. Everyone claims to know her but no one loved her like I did, no one is grieving like I am, they all have lives to go back to.
I’m terrified of burying her as I won’t be able to see her everyday like I do now, I go to the funeral home to sit with her.

We wanted small, then it was family only, then some neighbour’s and a few of my close friends came but we didnt advertise any details so on a need to know basis. We had about 50 so more than the 20 we initially thought

I’m dreading it, just wanted me and immediate family so no more than 10 to be honest right now I just want it to be me, her sister and her boyfriend. We were with her all the way through. My own family are making me so angry, it’s like they’ve all moved on.
How can I move on? How can I ever live my life without her? She is in everything I do, everywhere I go. My whole life revolved around her, I loved her too much, I am completely broken

You will be broken and this feeling wont go away, like most of us on these boards we are staying for our surviving child, even though its very very hard. I did find typting out all my horrid thoughts to the samaritians did help and their response is far more thoughtful than so called friends