Dear Sheila,
Good for you, tackling cutting your hedges, such a good idea with the shower curtains too. When we moved to here the front and back gardens were already planted, with quite a nice rockery in the front. There was a conifer in the centre of this, which grew and grew, last October a very nice bloke came and chopped it down, he also tidied up the lawns and flower borders, he cut down a long length of pyracanthus, which was here when we came, there were 2 men here all day and he charged £200, I was amazed at the amount of work they had done and the cost was so reasonable.
Some people take advantage when they see an elderly lady (old 
) on their own, but he certainly didn’t.
He is starting again next Thursday. I hope that you find someone as reasonable. I really hope that your ultrasound scan turns out well, I shall think about you.
Love,
Mary x
Thank you, Sheila,
Some builders are just cowboys, they take advantage, maybe your neighbour suggested that they placed their ladders on your garage roof. Taking liberties which weren’t theirs to take, I hope that you can get it repaired.
Love,
Mary x
Sheila…
…i have heard about your tackling of your hedge trimmer or is that strimmer…or maybe your beheading tool…
I hope that the builder does a good job, Sheila. x
Hi please do not try to Get Over it.
No one knows what your personal grief is. I lost my dad almost 24 years ago and I am still ‘not over it’
I have just 2 days ago lost my brother too, which has brought it all back 
Hi @Heartbrokensis, I noticed this was your first post, so I just wanted to say welcome to our community, although I know it is not one you would ever have wished to join. I’m so sorry to hear that you have lost your dad and your brother - the loss of your brother is so recent and must be very raw. I hope that it helps even a tiny bit to be able to share things here.
We have a Losing a Sibling section here on the community, so you might find it helpful to start a new conversation and/or reply to some of the recent conversations there.
If there’s anything I can help with, or you have any questions about this site, you can contact me at online.community@sueryder.org.
Thank you for your message.
I feel it’s too soon to open up myself atm as just too painful. I am however, reading others and taking some comfort in that I am not alone xx
So agree, lost few friends because they said I should move on, you can see that they get fed up with you for going on about loved one that has passed.
Mickyboy, the people who tell you to move on or come out with equally crass comments have no idea what you are going through but one day they will so they need to remember that.
V x
I am so pleased to see you, V, I was thinking about you and hoping that you are alright. as I typed my latest post.
X
Jackie, do you think that such people have ever suffered as we suffer and each and everyone of us on this forum? x
Aw bless you Mary, I am ok had a tearful day not helped by this awful dreich Scottish weather. Going out with friends tomorrow for lunch so hopefully I will be ok. I find if I have had a good old cry the next day is better. Hope you are well
V x
Mary…
… hand on heart we have all at some point lost relatives but, no loss yet has matched the way the loss of my Richard has affected me, as bad as it has…yes there have been several losses and some tragedies in my family over the years ( even newspaper stories of murder or a tragedy ) but the loss of my Richard has hit me the worst…and this seems the case with all of us who have shared X amount of years with our long-term partner, our hubby or our wife…
Jackie…
I agree with everything you have said. When people say they can imagine, well imagining doesn’t come close. I have just returned to work, it has been 3 months since my lovely Andy passed away but I have been off for 7 months. Most people have been lovely so I am lucky. There’s always the odd one though that can’t look at you or speak to you. Well that’s their cross to bear I’m afraid. They say you always find out who your friends are and how true. I think that people who say you should be alright now have no idea of the pain and sense of loss that you feel. It’s the worst thing. I want to feel this pain as it keeps him alive for me. I miss him so much
Hi Tracy, going back to work must have been hard for you. I think once the first day is in and you see everyone then it settles down a bit. The ones that avoid you are not worth bothering about, they don’t know what to say or how to behave when all it needs is a simple ‘How are you’ as I said earlier it will come to their door one day. Sadly death is the one thing that is inevitable in this world
V x
Yes it has been hard going back. Andy was my go to to confide in and my safe haven when I got home. I have felt that going back to work I was leaving him behind. I know I’m not but that’s how it feels. I have his photo on my desk, in my car, I play his music. Everywhere I go in the house is a photo of him. I just miss him xx
I know, I am the same. I have photos of Colin everywhere, his watch on his bedside table. His toothbrush still next to mine, I can’t put anything of his away. The house is so quiet without his daft jokes and silly antic’s . He’s not here to listen to how my day went or to discuss a TV program. Even the little things like I couldn’t get a jar open the other night and ended up in tears because he wasn’t here to do it for me unfortunately this is our life now so we just need to get on with it as awful as it is 
x
Thank you, V,
I am not so bad today, thank you, I am sorry that you have had a bad day. All we can do is go with the flow, in our case it is the flow of tears. I have just had a long telephone call from our son, this afternoon, our daughter rang me and all I could hear was scribble talk, it was our great grandson Jonty, it did me the world of good until I thought about Stan and what he was missing. I am convinced that our loved ones are all around and watching over us.
I hope that you have a better day tomorrow,
Love,
Mary x
Yes you are right, unfortunately we do. But we do it the way that helps us get through. One day we will be reunited with our loved ones again, thats my belief anyway and that keeps me going. Andy is always in my thoughts but then when he was here he was. I know what you mean about not being able to do something, I think I had the same problem with a jar, I eventually got it open though. Andy always took a methodical approach to things and was very patient. I have tried to adopt his way of thinking and how he would do something. It has helped at times. I just wish he had had the chance to sort his shed out lol. Oh well yet another challenge for me to face 
xx
Tell me about it, I have the dreaded man cave to tackle 
x