Iāve been dithering about whether to go or not. Now the tickets have sold out. So, Iāve got in touch with the band, see what happensā¦
As usual, I want what I canāt have.
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Hi @Deb5 I also put a complaint in but as you say their response was just a load of codswallop. Big hug.X
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Like is all here wanting what we canāt have! Well what will be will be 
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Iāve managed to get one!
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How exciting! Iām so pleased for youā¦I really hope it goes well. Keep us updated 
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Big hugs to you too Rose. 14,weeks- in some ways it will feel like yesterday and our time now seems is either be marked by before or after their death. Sending lots of love 
xx
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Annie that completely resonates with me. I used to be so organised and dealt with everything in a timely way. Now when things start piling up itās easy to feel overwhelmed. Iāve decided to tackle one job ( admin or garden) each day and no more. Thereās very little that canāt be left for a few days, so please be kind to yourself. Everyone here is in the same position and we keep surviving another day whether the jobs are done or not! Sending lots of love and strength xx
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Thank you Jody.
Yes that is so true.
What a terrible marker in our lives.
Sending love and hugs,
Rose xx
So so true Rose x x
Oh wow I guess I have never really listen to those words as well my hubby and I went to see Alison Moyet a few years back and we were all waiting for that song. 8 weeks for me tomorrow , and I also return to work tomorrow x
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Hi Jane how did you survive your holiday? Did you get any pleasure in it at all? 
Good morning @Jane15
So some nice memories for you 
Itās 8 weeks today for me 
Good luck for going back to work tomorrow xx
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Well yes and tears ! We had never been to Jersey before so it was a new experience , but I kept feeling that my husband would of so liked it , that upset me , and I didnāt want my son to feel like a substitute! Like I would sit on our room balcony with a glass of Prosecco, now normally my hubby and me would do that together and people watch , my son not interested in doing that ! That was fine but sitting there alone , I would get upset thinking āwell Nick you would love the harbour view etc ā I loved the island of jersey and I would return , we did lots of different things , but July we have Hampton court flower show booked , now I hd already done that with my hubby and thatās why we wanted to return , we have the same boutique hotel booked etc, now my husband even bought me my new outfit for Hampton court so I kind of feel like I owe it to him to wear it and go ! And I know how much I enjoyed it , but after Jersey somewhere we had never been together , I just know I will miss him more somewhere we did go together, but saying that I am determined to go , and if I cry ! Well then I cry x
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Well my husband died just after midnight on the Monday 15th ,so yes today the Sunday was 8weeks ago! I know I have to go back to work , and everyone is looking forward to me going back , I use to be an entertainer there , I am the āfunnyā one , ! But I donāt know if people will realise ,I am not anymore ! Having my husband taken suddenly away from me has not only changed my life , but changed me !
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Thanks Jane I was interested as I have a similar situation next week. Itās 7 weeks for me today. We had booked to go to Devon and meet up with friends. I decided to go for just 4 days but now apprehensive and wondering if Iāve done the right thing. I am constantly doubting myself these days. We havenāt been to that area before and know he would have just loved it. Worrying how I will deal with that too. I suppose we can only try. What a dreadful situation we are all in.
Really good luck with work tomorrow. Iāll be thinking of you xx
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I live in Devon! I have to say my son who is 28 soon was good company , he is funny and bare in mind he lost his father in January we was found dead in his flat age 56! (Vile man sorry my ex hubby was a wife beater ) but he was his Dad ! Then 3 months later my lovely hubby Nick suddenly and thatās my sons step Dad since he was 4 years old ! He doesnāt really show his emotions etc but I did think the holiday probably did him good too! I mean he did the wine tour vineyard with me but he hardly drinks ! My hubby loved a glass of wine ! So I did the War tunnels for him ! I thought I would hate it but it was actually very interesting and I did think my hubby would of loved both .So at the same time I have experienced some new things , so I would say try it , and if you cry you cry , it canāt be any worse than what we have all ready gone through ?
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Thanks Jane thatās really encouraging. Our lives seem to have some parallels and a lot of what you say resonates with me ( including my son being 28!) My sister said to me ā what are you going to do if you decide not to go - Sit at home and be sad and miserable? You might as well go and try it - you can always come homeā
Sheās right but everything feels an enormous challenge these days and Iām not the confident independent person I used to be without my partner beside me.Everything has changed. Thanks again xx
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I also feel angry with the world today. I feel I could burst in tears at any moment. Itās been three years since my husband passed and today I feel it as if it was yesterday. Iām struggling. I read you should sit with the grief and lean into it. Itās so painful. Are there any others out there feeling the same x
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Oh Jayne, everything is just so hard isnāt itā¦I went for a meeting with my boss at work jon Friday ust for a catch-up on Friday as Iāve been off for a whileā¦I was dreading it but it was ok, I felt like I slipped straight back into ācharacterā. I was worried about crying in front of everyone, on one occasion I felt teary but managed to hold it together. I now donāt feel worried about my my return. Iāve actually been thinking about how I can progress, my fella always encouraged me to. As Iāve not much more to focus on I may as well and he will be my guide 
In time youāll find your self. I truly understand loosing your sense of identity, itās mad isnāt it. Who even am I now???
Sending you the best of luck for your return. Let us know how are get on
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Good morning @Nel
Sorry to hear of your loss
Itās only been 8 weeks for me. I think Iām doing ok, Iām certain I will not let grief overcome meā¦I have some really awful feelings and thoughts at times. The anxiety when that hits is out of this world however I try each day to be optimistic. Iām still here, Iāve got to live and find some sort of new life for me. Whatever happens doesnāt mean I loved my Andrew any less. It just means that I choose to live and try and to enjoy life again. We were blissfuly devoted to each other for 18 years and I will always cherish the love we had together but I will not let grief win!
Have you people around you for support?
Xx
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