It’s been almost a week since he passed. I have so many things to sort and I don’t want to. I’m frightened. Constant knot in my stomach. Every waking moment the realisation he’s not coming back. I don’t know how to get through this. He didn’t leave a will we were in the process of doing them. His family say they won’t take anything off me but l don’t trust easily. I worked so hard to look after him. I don’t want to go through his stuff yet I’m not ready. I think it will take a long time for me to do that. I’m being told to get up, shower and dress when all l want to do is sleep. It’s the only time there’s no pain.
3 Likes
@Kearray im so sorry for your loss. I am only 6 weeks i with the loss of my partner. I completely understand how you feel. The first few weeks were sorting out the funeral which kept me busy and ensuring i did him proud. It is hard as like you said you dont want to and it is a frightening time. I have not sorted any of Daves stuff because i dont want to and im not ready to do that and i will not allow anyone to tell me i need to do that.
That feeling of a constant knot in your stomach is something i have all the time. You need to take it day by day hour by hour and do what you feel is right for you. Losing someone is such a devastating heartbreaking time and something we dont want to go through. I findvit hard to come to terms that my dave is not coming back and i just wush i coukd turn back the clock and he is here.
Please take care of yourself and seek out friends and family who can suppirt you. X
2 Likes
Thank you. And I’m sorry to hear about your loss. It’s so overwhelming . I’m going through songs and people are trying to push me into songs I don’t want for him. I’m feeling anger and resentment and I just want to scream
1 Like
@Kearray So sorry for your loss. This is a hard time arranging the funeral. I lost my husband of 40 years just over 12 weeks ago and I am still trying to come to terms that he is not coming home. I haven’t sorted out his things as I am not ready to do so and as @Sue338 said I will not be pressured into doing so. Please arrange the funeral and songs as you would like and know that it will honour him and make him proud. Scream if you need to but do what feels right for you. Take one hour, one day at a time. Sending you love and hugs. x
1 Like
Thank you. I’ve not even got dressed yet today. I need to do stuff but my mind just wonders
@Kearray
I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s 13 weeks now for me and my heart goes out to you having to cope with this. I was so shocked and overwhelmed that I didn’t know where to start, but I just focused on doing what I felt was right for him. As heartbreaking and difficult as it was, the funeral was also a great comfort, so just go with your heart and make the choices that are right for you. For now you have that to focus on, just deal with what you can when you can. All the other practical things will get sorted out in due course, it seems like a mountain to climb but you’ll just take one thing at a time as and when you’re able. I still haven’t got dressed yet today, but I will when I’m ready.
You have new friends here to understand and support you xx
1 Like
Thank you l take comfort in speaking to you all who understand this journey xx
We are all here and all understand. Ive had to go the bank and shopping. I just hate it. Whilst walking through town and going into Asda i just want to cry i find going out difficult. X
I do too @Sue338
I’ve been having my shopping delivered to avoid going into our local supermarket. Just can’t face it because daft as it might sound we shopped together a lot and it was fun, meeting people we knew and just the companionship of doing something like that together. Also can’t face meeting people who want to talk to me about it, or even worse, don’t know yet.x
1 Like
Its horrible isnt it all i keep thinking about my Dave will never walk around here ever again. He was a door security at the pubs in town and its just too much that he isnt here any more
1 Like
I know exactly how you feel. Everywhere I go it’s like walking in his footsteps, and just memory after memory. I hide myself at home rather than face that pain. But I know that I have to look to the future and try to cope with a new way of living x
1 Like
@Mist2 being at home is where we feel safe and dont have to face anyone or do anything we dont want to do.
It is looking for the future that is scary but we have to face it and find a new way of living x
This is the worst part. The world is carrying on without us. I hate it. I have to go and have my hair done. I don’t want to go. I’m still sat in my pyjamas
1 Like
Everywhere l go there is a memory. I start to panic
@Sue338
We all will, but it’ll be in our own time and in our own way. I find myself being a little bit more assertive nowadays, when people advise me as to what I should be doing, or need to do. I always listen to their well meant advice, but I’ll do what I can manage when the time is right. @Kearray I dreaded going to the hairdresser the first time and I finally told myself that I had to go sometime and I would feel better if I managed it. My hairdresser couldn’t have been more kind and understanding. He sat me in a very quiet area so that my tears would be private and he just made it as easy as possible for me. I hated coming home and not having my husband admire my haircut, but I felt I’d made a step forward. It’s just baby steps. Just do what you can manage x
1 Like
@Kearray
It’s so very soon for you and so raw, if you don’t feel like having your hair done, then don’t. You might feel able next week or in a months time. Just let yourself grieve in your own way. The feeling of panic is horrible, and part of the process, but hopefully you have people around you who can offer support. X
They all want me to get up and do stuff. I just want them to stop. I feel like I’m in a bubble and that’s where I’m safe. It’s hard enough talking about the funeral it makes it too real x
1 Like
Day at a time , hour at a time. Minute at a time ! As my mum said to me many times … baby steps ! Youre in such early days. Be kind to yourself xx
1 Like
I completely get the knot in the stomach and fear every time I have to go out. I have a 3 year old so I have to face the world but it is so hard. I lost my husband suddenly on the 25th November.
Please don’t let people push you into anything. You know yourself and what you can do and you know him best as well xx
1 Like
Yeh dont let anybody push you around ! Do whats right for you !!! Xxx