Thinking of you today and good luck.
I admire you for signing up for this.
Love and hugs,
Rose xx
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Thank you Rose Garden 
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I think that, like everybody on here, time doesnāt really make things better, weāll never be better, weāre not ill.
Like all of you Iām finding it gets harder not easier. The missing gets worse, itās so long since they helds us and told us they love us.
Most people seem to think we should be āgetting over itā but they donāt understand that we never will.
A huge part of us has been torn away 
Thats never going to heal.
Hopefully in time things will get easier to bear and we will cope.
Until then I find Iām starting to pretend. When people ask how I am, I say Iām fine.
They really donāt want to know the truth.
My tears are mine for crying when Iām alone 
I do have the occasional blip when people are genuinely concerned.
Thats why itās so good to be on here, sharing our thoughts with others who truly understand.
Thank you all for being there
Love and hugs
Liz x x
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I lost Gra 12 weeks tomorrow an all 3 months, sometimes it seems so long ago other times it seems like yesterday.
The tears fall ever day I have been asked if the tears are for Gra or for me, my reply is both, how can they not be, I cry because he is never going to hold me no more, I am never going to hold his hard . He is never going to tell me all is going to be ok.
I cry for all the things he is missing out on ,all the plans he had made. I cry because I am so bloody lonely and my life as I know it as ended.
When I say this to ppl who have not lost the other half of them they lok at me with pity.
But not with understanding how can they.
Huggs Jo xxxx
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Here for you xx
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Jevncute - I understand everything you say. I think I am 100% in the same place.
The tears just wonāt stop.
Sending you love and hugs
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Just been out for lunch with my stepdaughter. Nice meal, but all I wanted was Bill to be with me. I donāt want anything or anyone - JUST MY BILL and I canāt have him and it hurts so much, itās indescribable.
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I do so understand what youāre saying. Others are trying to ācompensateā for our loss and think theyāre being helpful and they are trying so hard to be kind. If only I could lock the doors and never leave the house or meet anyone ( including family). Like you all I want is my love back with me. This isnāt living, its a living hell.
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Thatās so true
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Omg dont we all just wish that was possible, i would give up everything I own and livevin a cardboard box if only I could have Gra back.
Hugs for us all Jo xxx
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Its hard im 2 yr in November since i lost my lovely husband some days ok but tears come from nowhere today i was cutting my lawns sat down for 5 mins to rest then my tears started flowing miss him so much
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Im same friends who i really thought would be by my side didnt bother a couple friends stayed close but nearly 2 yrs on think i should be over it and be able to get on with life , im living my life through my kids and grandkids otherwise carnt seem pount friends got husbandās , they dont understand iknow they feel uncomfortable if i get upset or say how much i miss him !
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NOTHING can prepare you for the loss of your loved one, your partner in crime, your mate, your everything.
Iām so sorry that you feel like this 2 years on - is this living or just surviving?
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My husband had lost weight so wasnāt wearing his ring at his death. I searched the house but couldnāt find it and I got so distressed. Eventually it turned up in a little pot with all his badges collected over the years! Once I found it, I popped it on my middle finger left hand and immediately felt I was with him again. I also had a ring made with his fingerprint on it that I also wear on my right hand.
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Things get so important to us donāt they?
When I thought Iād lost the bracelet with Rogers ashes in I was distraught.
Itās only a tiny bit I know and the rest are at home.
But I was so very upset to think Iād lost it, and so relieved when it was found
X x
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Yes I have been out for Lunch with my son! And nearly 5 months after suddenly and unexpectedly my husband died I still just want him , company is nice , but thatās just it ! Itās just ānice ā it ās not my Nick
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Thatās lovely - I wish Iād have thought of a fingerprint. I do have a bag of hair though - it was time for his annual (summer) hair shave when he was in hospital. I went in with the clippers he thought I was mad when I collected up the hair!!! Its gorgeous as it still smells of him.
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When my husband was taken to hospital after a cardiac arrest they removed his wedding ring in case of swelling. They gave it to me and I put it on my middle finger. It is still there, never taken it off.
I am not really into jewellery, but now find myself wearing six rings. My wedding and engagement rings, his wedding ring, my mumās ring, my dadās ring and my Nannaās).
Xx
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@Retired2 It is so hard when people distance themselves from you - when they are not willing to support or be with you in your grief.
I hope it goes ok on Monday.
I think you are very brave and kind to see them. Our friends who have not been in touch I now donāt want to see again - I find seeing them just reminds me of my loss and I am sick of the messages saying remember the good times. Toxic positivity at its worst !!!
And like you I wonder if they were really our friends at all and perhaps itās just me that no one likes.
Some were his friends and so I donāt expect them to be there for me, but some of my friends who have just disappeared have left me feeling so alone and confused as to why they would do that.
My husbands brother phoned tonight and he does try and call every week, which is great in one way but I just get him telling me how hard his life is, how much work he has on and then all about his and his wifeās or my nephews travels.
When he asks how I am I just skim over the answer, and heās not really that interested as he just accepts that.
I want to just say please donāt call, but I donāt want to lose that connection with his family. But it just makes me feel more invisible.
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I really know you you mean. This week has been particularly bad for some reason, I go away on holiday with my daughter next week but am dreaded seeing couples together. Trying to cope with things at the moment is like walking in treacle! Reading how others feel is just so helpful, sending love and hugs to everyone xx
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