I'm struggling

I lost my dad the end of march and I’m struggling with all this pain. I keep reliving everything what happened to my poor dad and I feel so low. I’ve lost interest in everything and some days can’t face the world and just stay in bed. I worry that I’m suffering from depression. I have spoken to the doctor and he thinks it griefing because I wasn’t depressed before this happened. An option was to take anti depressants but really don’t know if I would be doing the right thing.

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Hi again joey I’m having a low week this week off to the gp Monday again been debating whether I need anti depressants I just don’t no, I’m sure it is grief related when we loose a parent I’ve read a lot around it and it says you become a different person and you have to learn who that is, in addition you question everything you have known as your reality isn’t your reality anymore and you have to build a new one, I’m sure that’s why we feel low as we’re trying to make sense of a life we don’t no, I’m sure it’s “normal” but doesn’t make it any less painful, be kind to yourself just cus you feel this way now doesn’t mean you will forever take one day at a time , easier said than done as I can’t imagine feeling like this for ever just don’t feel like me , take care give yourself permission for how you feel just now

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To joey and wease.I don’t feel like me either.I have unwanted horrible visions.of my dear girl.as for antidepressants I am on mirtazapine 45 ml.and also on pregablin 50 ml.so I am a bit fogged up to put it mildly.but the pain is still very much apparent.hope you are the best you can be this is hell on earth isn’t it love to you both.Annette.xxx


Hi wease
Thank you for your reply. It’s going to a long road for me I think. I have also read up on anti depressants and I’m not to sure if that is the right direction. Grief and depression are very similar symptoms. Think I’m just trying to find a miricale cure for me. The answer is time but I just don’t like who I am at the moment. I’m hurting so much as well as you probably are. Like you said we need to adjust to a new life now and take one day at a time. I just feel so low and miss my dad so so much. Take care wease. Xx

Hi Annette. Lovely to hear from you. Yes this pain is the worst ever. I also keep reliving the last days of my dear dad. I still can’t believe he is no longer with me. I sit and all what happened keeps going around in my mind. I miss him so much. Life will never be the same for me again. I hope you are ok Annette. Take care and look after yourself. Xx

Thanks Annette I’m sorry for you right loss take care of you and be kind to yourself xx

They sure are joey, I don’t like who I am either awful feeling I just hope it’s temporary and I grieve differently in the future as I don’t like this, keep trying to take one day at a time but it’s very hard like you said never thought I would loose my dad and look back on a year ago and everything was so different so much more happier seems like a life time ago take care of yourself x

Hello to all three of you.

I think taking one day at a time is all we can do. My Mum passed away eleven months ago and I won’t say it has got better as time has passed but it has got different. I have periods of days when I start to feel better or like yesterday stood washing up my dinner things crying my eyes out for no reason. From being told what a strong person I was I have become very vulnerable.

It’s affection I crave, someone to give me a cuddle on the black days or just make me a cup of tea. I have only one close relative now and they would sooner black my eyes than have physical contact with me.

On the better days just a walk in the sun is all I need or meeting a neighbours cat to stroke.

Hope your days are going going alright today.


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Thank you Mel and sorry for your loss what your saying makes so much sense sending you a hug today’s a better day as exhausted from three bad days hope your having an ok day take care x

Hi Mel. I lost my dad the end of march this year. Finding things really hard. Some days I can’t even focus on anything and I keep re living every moment of what my poor dear dad went through. He suffered so much and miss him so much. My world feels empty without him. I’m sorry for your loss. Take care Mel xx

Hi Joey,

Yes it is very hard isn’t it. My Mum went through hell her last couple of months and watching her bravely facing up to knowing she was terminally ill was awful. I had dreadful flashbacks at first after she passed away which thankfully have largely gone.

I miss my Mum so much and every day think of things I want to tell her or ask her advice about. And yes that emptiness… My concentration is shot to bits and haven’t read a book since, fall asleep every night watching TV as well.

You take care as well.


Hi Mel. I have trouble sleeping. Hoping to return to work in a couple of weeks. I don’t feel ready but don’t think I ever will. The images I have in my head are awful. My dad had Alzheimers he was 68. They stopped all food and fluids. Watching him slowly deteriorate was so disturbing. Then just waiting for that phone call. He passed after 12 days. I miss him terribly. Take care Mel xx

My partner left me last night couldn’t stand how difficult I have become to live with I feel so heartbroken

On no Wease. I’m so sorry. Is there any chance you could talk things through. It’s a difficult time your going through. Take care Wease. Sending you hugs x

I have hope but I fear the worse he also lost his Mum 4 weeks ago thank you for the hug I need it x

Hello Joey I am feeling the same but went on antidepressants what a mistake they make Me feel worse ,not with it .Im not on them now but feel just like you anxiety ,hate getting out of bed not eating .I lost my husband 16 months ago and can’t sort myself out .we was married for 50 years.I think a group would help for bereaved people who could meet up .I’m looking for one but there doesn’t seem to be any.thinking of you take care

Hi all I have read all your replies with great interest. My husband passed away 10 months ago and have lived in a bubble for the whole of the months. I have gone through the do I give up do I give in or do I give life everything I can. I want to give the later but still can’t bring myself to do so. The time is a healer but feel it’s getting worse lonelier and reality is slowly setting in. I feel so lost with life.

HI Joey,
Yr message really struck a cord with me , and set me off crying again.
My dad died suddenly in January, and yes I agree this is the worse pain ever.
I have just gone back to work, to a very stressful job.
I also agree, I still cant believe he is no longer here, and keeping re living events.
I totally feel what you are saying , that life will never be the same again, and although am carrying on day to day, there does not seem much joy in life anymore.
I wish you well x

Hi dovedale. Thank you for your reply. I’m so sorry for your loss. My dad passed in march and I’m really struggling. Hoping to receive some councilling soon to see if that helps. Going day by day is all we can do. I miss my dad so much and this pain is so intense. Tomorrow is the first day that I will be returning to work. Feel really anxious about going and seeing people for the first time. I could stay off longer but I’m going to try and face it. Don’t think I will ever feel any different for the rest of my life. I just feel so sad. Take care and sending you hugs x

Hi joey hope your first day back at work was not so difficult for you.what I would give for my dear girl to walk through the door.still can’t believe it.my best wishes to you Annette.xxx.and hugs.