Michael this is so difficult for us all but you really must try and get some help. I am sure Judith is looking down on you willing you to seek help. Do it for your Beloved Judith and all of us on here who care about you. Sending love and hope to you Moira
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Morning Moira thank you for caring,I am in a mess absolutely,this is affecting me more than ever now,I am thinking about Judith all the time,I cannot live a normal life whatever normal is.I do hope she is looking down and seeing what a mess I am in,living without her is like a living hell.My life did end when she passed away last September. Much love Michael x
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Oh you poor thing,you have been through enough.Your last line really shocked me,so sorry that you had to do that.I have thought about it many times but too much of a coward at the moment .I do want to go though ,be nice not to wake up one morning and then this nightmare will be over. Hugs to you Michael x
I come across this quote today, it felt so true āEvery great loss demands that we choose life again. We need to grieve in order to do this. The pain we have not grieved over will always stand between us and lifeā¦ Grieving allows us to heal, to remember with love rather than pain. It is a sorting process. One by one you let go of the things that are gone and you mourn for them. One by one you take hold of the things that have become a part of who you are and build again.ā ā Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D.
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Thatās lovely Tony. Itās a struggle isnāt it? Sometimes I just donāt know what the new day will bring.
Hugs to everyone suffering this agony xx
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Hi JaneyS ,it certainly is a struggle getting through each day now,we are all suffering this agony of losing the one person that made it all worthwhile.The huge price we are paying for loving someone that much. Does not seem fair somehow. Michael x
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Hi Tony
What a lovely piece. Itās so true we have to grieve, itās devastating and hard, but we will go on, , there is no choice, slowly we will be able to build a life , never the same, but liveable. We are in pain, because we loved so completely. Itās the price we pay.
Thank you for sharing this hope
Christinax
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Hi I lost my wife October 26th and I feel just the way you do bitter cheated and why my wife . She is on my mind from when I wake till I go to bed but I donāt sleep proper .I have never been a big believer in life after death but strange things have happened that are unexplainable and Iām now hoping and praying there is something so one day I see my wife again because life at the moment is awful painful and I donāt have anything to live for
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Please tell me about the strange things that are happening.I keep hoping and praying for these things to happen to show me Judith is around me.Your last line is very relevant to me as well,awful pain and nothing to live for. Michael x
Hi a few examples are my nephews tv kept coming on during the night with a channel my wife watched happened about 5 times but not happened for a couple of weeks now one day when I came home the en suite from the bathroom the lights were on switch off no matter what I did light wouldnāt go off went back to normal after 3 hours been fine since and no problems before my nieces heating has been turning itās self up my wife had raynards always cold happened a few times been ok last few weeks . I have never been a big believer in anything after death but now Iām not sure can only hope it was a message to say sheās ok
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Ok that is really weird.I have had nothing like that at all since my dear wife Judith passed away last September.I would love to hear from her that she is ok . Michael x
Oh how I wish I could experience something to show me my husband is OK.
I just need to know
I was a child & teenager who always had to have a light at night, I was always scared, but when we moved in together I was never scared again.
He perhaps thinks I would be scared again and will not show me a sign.
But Iām not scared, the worst thing has already happened to me and I am not scared of anything other than facing a future without him in it.
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Dear Michael, really feel for you, one of us always has to leave first and leave the other behind. It would have been you or Judith, in a way Judith has been spared the pain that you have to bare my own belief is that our loved ones are around but in a different way, I like being quiet at home and just processing my emotions, sometimes I am overwhelmed so I phone a help line or friend, but I am doing that less now. On Monday I am driving up to Durham where my boyfriend lives and died, I am going to bring back his personal things so I can keep them safe for when his daughters can be located, I feel strongly about protecting his things I feel I am doing something that he would want me to do somehow doing what I can for him we have to cling to every raft we can find
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Lovely story Caroline,you sound a very caring person. Michael x
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Hi you are brave now after what you have been through.It would be so nice to know that they are ok ,a sign somehow would be nice. Michael x
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A living hell, just about sums it up, lost my wife in an RTA, a year ago yesterday, had to sell the family house as it was torture staying there without her. Ok ish, when Iām with family, friends and at work, but going back to an empty house is a very lonely place to be. Before I joined this site, I felt like the world was carrying on as normal, but realise now there are plenty of others in the same position, your not alone, take care.
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Hi
Itās devastating isnāt it, you are not alone , all of us understand the pain and deep loss, losing your sole mate brings. I can only say it will get easier, as unfortunately Iāve lost my first husband 22 years ago and now having lost my 2 nd husband the pain is indescribable.
Keep going, itās the only thing we can do, I thought my life ended when I lost my childhood husband, little did I know , Iād meet a wonderland man, also a widower, and we made a great life together, never forgetting our fist loves. It is possible, ut also now I face the pain once more.
Sending best wishes to you, keep going,
Love Christina
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Hi you are among friends on here.We are all on the same hellish journey.Losing our loved ones is a nightmare .My wife was taken by cancer 15 weeks ago and it hurts like hell everyday.I miss her every minute.My world crashed that day at 215pm 27th September 2021.A combination of covid restrictions and missed treatment took her from me.I hate this empty house that was our home. Much love Michael x
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With you all the way. Very similar timescale. My beautiful wife also gone due to Covid stopping heart treatment. Ghastly new life. So isolated.
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Dear Johnnywidower and Michael and all
Its one heāll of a time for us grieves. I had Christmas mostly alone due to catching covid the week before and having to isolate. Iām now with family for a belated ācelebrationā . I feel Iām now unwanted a single oddity even in the family, just tolerated. Iāll be glad to go home tomorrow and just please myself. Iām better with friends some of whom are single due to one reason or another. This is a lonely hell. I suppose Iām still trying to find myself and work out who I am in my own right. I think we all need to believe in ourselves as valid individuals. We have a right to happiness even in our grieving widowhood state.
Love and best wishes
Tricia
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