Hi my name is John I’m 66 years old and lost my wife two months ago to cancer after a 3 year fight. It’s very hard I miss her so much.
Don’t want to be sad as we had 40 years of a brilliant loving marriage. I have two lovely grown up supportive daughters and four grandkids. I have so much but I have lost the person that held us all together. It’s so hard. Time will heal I know but. I feel so lonely.
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John,
Sorry for your loss. Hopefully being on here will make you feel a little better
Thanks. I’m just filling in time I think keeping myself busy and active. Letting the grieving process take its course. I’m realistic. But the magnitude of the upset is huge, but then I feel ashamed and think about how my wife felt for the last few years knowing she was going to die.
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You have no need to feel ashamed. Easier said than done I know but again, it’s one of the stages of grief I think. I’m not a professional in anyway but we all have our own way we deal with it
Hi John
So sorry for your loss. My husband of 52 years died in January after a 2 year battle with cancer.
He suffered so much during the last six months of his life it was very hard to bear. At first I was just so glad that he was no longer in pain but after a few weeks I missed him so badly I just wanted him back with me. And like you I felt terrible as he really had no quality of life towards the end. I have just gone back to my work today to try an pick up the threads of life, although it will never be the same we had many years together and reading some other posts where people have died very suddenly and relatively young leaving young families I try to focus on the many years we had together.
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Annabelle,
Sorry for your loss especially after so many years. Don’t think we ever get over loss, we just try to deal with it the best way possible x
So sorry for the loss of your wife. I’ve also just lost my husband on 2nd of June to lung cancer we were together 32 years married for 25 wonderful years I miss him so much I cry all the time what is our lifes without them they were our life. We have 2 grown up children and 2 granddaughters. I cared for my husband since March I stopped work immediately when he was diagnosed now he has gone. No routine no husband what now !
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Ali,
Sorry about your late husband especially after so many years together. No words I can say will make you feel better. I only have life experience of loss too.
All I can say is please keep talking and hope being on here helps a little. It definitely helps me.
You can talk to me anytime Ali.
James x
Thank you for your reply. It helps to talk to others who know exactly how we feel. The loss is unbearable this suffocating feeling is torture. My husband got everything he wished for to be at home his own surroundings everything he asked for at the end I made sure he got it. Now nothing now our hearts are completely broken life won’t ever be the same our children have there own lifes I don’t want to be a burden to them.
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Totally understand Ali. I have no family and friends in my world to talk to or shed a tear with. Being on here is my full time solace and makes me beat my daily demons.
I only found this forum yesterday and was talking till 2am.
I would rather be here then feel daily torture.
You will never be a burden on here. Especially with me Ali x
I’ve just found this site today as I was looking for someone to help me help this unbearable pain. We had so much planned in life to many things still to do just got 2 beautiful granddaughter’s now my husband has been completely robbed of everything me of him my children of there beloved dad. Life is cruel
I want the world to stop. I know my husband would want me to go on and try to be happy as he was the happiest person ever.
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Ali,
I think anyone who is on here is doing the same. We are not looking for answers but a little pain relief. Mine is distraction. Talking to others lessons my pain. I hope you find your path x
Yes I understand I feel everything I’m doing is wrong these days things I never gave any thought to I’m now over thinking about
I dread the shopping seeing people what if they ask me anything. How will I react. Never did I think at the age of 49 I would be a widow how can this happen
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I’m 47 and a widow too so I can relate. We still have age on our side Ali. Hopefully we can both find a little happiness someday x
I can’t ever imagine being happy again but that’s how I’m feeling today
Tomorrow is another day. Climb in to a different day see what it holds in store for us
Hi Annabel - I understand and totally empathise with your feelings. I lost my husband of 41 years 10 weeks ago - we have one daughter of 31. It has been unbearable - his cancer diagnosis was so unexpected, and he only lived for around 8 weeks, and suffered. He has seemed healthy and we just could not believe what was happening. Now I feel totally bereft and alone - I have many friends, but feel the one person who knew me, understood me and shared my life has gone. I abandoned my work, I am a freelance consultant, and I can only see sad empty days, with coffees and lunches with well meaning friends not making up for this devastating loss. I hope we both have better days ahead.
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Jane10,
Sorry for your loss. After so many years of love and joy, friends and family, you feel empty. Unfortunately nobody teaches us how to feel when we lose our loved ones. I hope being on here helps a little as it does for me
James x
HI Jane
So sorry for your loss like you it was such a shock finding out my husband had cancer he did have some treatment but did not stop cancer spreading its so awful watching someone you love suffering. Thinking of you and sending positive thoughts for the days ahead
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Hi Annabelle.
Thanks for your reply. We have a lot in common unfortunately. It’s good to chat with people who are in the same situation. Other people explain themselves so well. The grief, the tears that overwhelm you all the time, surrounded with family and well meaning friends but all you want is the person you can’t have. Emptiness. Fear of loneliness. All emotions that are not really wanted.
Having said all that I try to be positive that there will eventually be better days ahead. How long will it take though. Suppose it depends on the individual and their determination and inner strengths.
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Hi John so sorry for your recent sad loss and that you also have found yourself on here
I’ve recently lost my husband also to the horrid cancer
Life so far has been very lonely every day is long without my husband
How I long for him to be here with us all
Take care
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