Good morning, I have just joined the group and looking forward to having conversations with people in similar situation. I lost my husband in October 23 after a hard fought battle with lung cancer. It would have been our 40th wedding anniversary on 23rd April. I am finding life very lonely
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Iām sorry for your loss.
I lost my husband on 4th of January to pancreatic cancer. It would have been our 45 wedding anniversary tomorrow.
There is always someone in here to answer your post. I hope you find a way to live less lonely ** 
**
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Im sorry for your losd.
I lost my husband 23rd February, to lung cancer, we only knew for 6 weeks, it was so quick. We were together for 42 years, married for 12, it was our anniversary last week, that was tough.
I dont think I will ever get over it but I know I have to carry on, its what he wanted and I have my children and Grandchildren to think of too.
I too find life very lonely, although I have support from friends and family. Its the lonliness deep inside that only people going through this awful awful journey will understand.
Please keep posting here. It really helps to speak to others going through the same grief
Love and hugs
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Dear @Jaffa and @Liro
I agree that the feeling of loneliness is dreadful. I feel sick with it sometimes. I can meet friends and family but still feel lonely. I keep busy as a way of copying (and come on this forum regularly) but those deep awful feelings of sadness and loneliness just donāt leave. I hate this grief journey. I know thereās no avoiding it and I do try to view it as a measure of how much I loved ā and still love ā my partner, but I really hate feeling this way. Big hug to anyone feeling the same way x
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Dear @KMS1
Thankyou for your reply.
Like you I try to keep busy, and yes I use this forum regularly. Iāve also been volunterred for looking after my Grandaughters dog for a week, but it will give me some company and a reason to walk. We liked walking, and Iām still trying to, but its so different on my own, lonely and sad (thereās the lonely word again)
This grief journey is horrendous and there doesnāt seem to be any end to it.
I just tell myself that when 2 people have a love so deep and real, one is going to be totally heartbroken in the end, and although the pain is often unbearable, I wouldnāt have missed a minute of our time together
Love and hugs
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You are so right @liro. I feel very lucky to have loved my partner as I did. Take very good care of yourself x
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So sorry for your loss,i lost my husband to pancreatic cancer January this year so i understand how you are feeling. It is lonely for me as well without my husband ,we were together 25 years. Try and think of the happy memories you shared together.Hope this helps.
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Hi @KMS1 and @lucycat
Memories are so important arenāt they. Its all we have now. Iāve been trawling through videos trying to find one with his voice on. Is that silly, I so long to hear his voice again, I have loads of photos and heās my screensaver on my phone, but I really need to hear him again. I try to dream of him and I did very briefly 2 nights ago, it was vivid at the time, but of course itās faded now, and I was heartbroken when I woke but I knew that would happen, and it was worth it to see him again
Grief puts everything into perspective and you realise what is really important.
Now weāll walk this lonely road taking any crumbs of comfort we can get.
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So sorry for your loss. I lost my dearest husband to cardiac arrest last May. Almost a year in, have been trying to take one day at a time but still feeling so sad and lonely not much better from day one!
Will be thinking of you on your wedding anniversary. Please keep sharing we are here to share and support one another. We all are going through the same sad and painful journey.
Sending hugs and strength
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4 months on for me - should I be feeling better? Thought I was coping ok and even went away with a friend for 10 days! This was a distraction at the time but mow back home the reality of permanence has hit yet again! Family are wonderful but they have their own lives to live and so it should be! Before he passed my husband said āat the end of the day we are on our ownā! This seems to be true however loving friends and family are! However do we come to terms with grief? I suppose we never will! Just having a bad few days! Hugs to all xx
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Iām the same @Cynthonia. My partner died aged 56 on 19th February and I thought I was coping but this week I have had three particularly bad days, including today. I seem to be trying to fill my time for the sake of filling time or as a distraction. I feel lonely but the only person I want to solve that canāt. I have friends and family too but, as you rightly say, they are leading their own lives - just as they should. It is hard to make the effort to do anything some days but I am trying to force myself as I know thatās what my partner wanted. Big hug to you and anyone else going through this: it is so hard and so sad x
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Yes, feel exactly the same. Lost my husband 10th January this year. Lonely and anxious for my future life - have no idea what it will look like and have to find the energy to create it. Feel totally empty at the moment.
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so agree K! Find going out in car a distraction just for the sake of it!!! To top it all just found gaps in conservatory sandtex - will have to get round that, something Tony would have done with ease!!! Doesnt help!! xx
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Yes Iām the same, 8 weeks into this horrendous journey and still stuggling to make sense of it all. I find it so hard to motivate myself to do anything and then I only do things as a distraction. I too feel so lonely and as you say the only one who can stop that has gone. The emptiness inside is almost unbearable. Iāve really got to try and make a new life, but I donāt know how. I do
have family and friends and they are supportive, but they canāt be there all the time, they work and they have their own lives. Iāve been staying at my sisters which has been a good distraction, but Iām dreading going home. The emptiness and loneliness will be even more intense. I think maybe I was just running away, but the situation will still be the same when i go home, he will still be gone
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emptiness good word to describe it Mogs - a massive hole has opened up! Somehow we have to find strength to cope in the present let alone looking forward!! Grief is a long horrible journey!
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Yep- coming back very hard! I felt it too early to go away but family insisted (went to Spain)! Had a good time as far as it went but felt I was putting on an act! Someone was missing and first time I had been away without him! Usually go to daughterās weekends but this one she had an activity with kids, so am home alone! Excruciating grief xx
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Reading various topics here on losing a partner, Sunday really does seem to bring everything home.
11 weeks since it happened and Iāve really tried so very hard. Been away a couple of times, have another couple of trips away planned. I go out and meet friends, take walks and try to look after myself. Today has been a sunny day but Iām so unhappy.
But nothing is working and I simply want my Steve back. I really canāt see an end to this grief, or a point to anything any more. Iām not saying Iām ready to give up and join him, but how much more of this is bearable?
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My husband passed recently. It was unexpected, sudden and traumatic. I have had support from good friends and some family. Sadly, the people I thought would be with me and support me have not. I am still in the āHeās gone but it canāt be trueā stage. It is so lonely. We were together all the time. Now the funeral is over, people are not contacting me as much. I try to distract myself, it doesnāt always work. I usually feel Iām just filling time. I cry quite a bit, cuddle the cat and watch tv. This is not living.
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Hi @RoseGarden
I know exactly how you feel. The funeral is over so you must be ok. But itās not ok and never will be again. We too did everything together and now I canāt motivate myself to do anything much. I go out but Iām not really there, my mind is on Roger, every minute of everyday. And I cry so much, I donāt know where all the tears come from
Iām glad youāve got family and friends support, but even that isnāt enough to replace the loss and the loneliness we feel inside.
Can you maybe try and get out, if only for a walk, I find it helps, a bit.
Iām afraid distractions are all weāve got, for now anyway
Youāve done right by posting on here, thereās so many of us all in the same boat, who all understand, because weāre all going through this same horrendous nightmare.
Weāre all here for each other
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You not alone,Rosegarden, with the after the funeral comment - we find out who are friends really are! Am with you also with āit cant be trueā and then suddenly the finality hits - devastating! Somehow we have to weather this awful storm however long it takes!xx
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