Irritable anxiety

Im trying to adjust to our family unit being different after losing my partner very suddenly to cancer that we didnt really know about. From going to the doctors because of struggling to swallow to collapsing on valentines day and dying the next day it was 3 weeks.
I like to think im doing quite well all in all but i am so full of this irritable feeling anxiety around the times of 3 and 7pm. Its all to do with dhoosing and preparing meals. I am filled with dread i feel panicky i dont know where to put myself. I hide it well from the kids but i hate the feeling of it so much. I have tried some meditation videos which sometimes help and im on medication for anxiety but this feeling around meal times i just cant get it to go away.
Just wondered if there was anyone who maybe has or does experience this set time of anxiety. I dont think its helping being the first christmas without my partner.
Im feeling more down as the day approaches but doing the whole brave face thing so the kids get excited and ive really lost my appetite, interests etc.
I do feel a little alone with my feelings i dont know many women my age group who have lost partners. Or any women in fact. Live in a very small village. All my christmas cards so far have been written more like a sorry for your loss card and that hasnt helped either. Id like to make friends with other women in similar situation to mine even if it was just as online friends. I dont think i realised how hard christmas was going to feel.


Hello @Robinspurs, I’m so sorry for the loss of your partner. I’m just giving your thread a gentle, “bump” so our members see it. There’s a very active support thread for members who are experiencing anxiety here: Anxiety You might want to have a read, or post yourself if you feel up to it.

Take good care,

I totally understand exactly what you are saying.
I too am going through not being interested in Christmas or anything else to be honest.
I turn to going to bed to be honest just to check out.
But you have started expressing your feelings and I have too now because I relate to your feelings,
It’s a start and take care you are not alone.