Is anyone else completely alone?

Hi I’ve been going through the same thing as you. Lost my partner 2 years ago :broken_heart::cry:and like you I have no family alive except for one nephew. Grief is a lonely road especially when you don’t have family support as I have found. I spend so much time alone :sleepy:it’s heart breaking :broken_heart:and only intensifies how much I miss the love of my life, sole mate and rock. Quite honestly I don’t know how I have survived without him.
You are definitely not alone good to have your 2 dogs with you it must help a little bit a snuggle on the sofa.

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It is definitely a lonely life. A couple of times I have had to revert to contacting the Samaritans because before I could speak to my husband if something was worrying me but now there is no one at the end of the phone as family and friends are starting to return to their normal lives. I have sat crying in the garage today - my husband’s jackets still handing where he left them, gloves that he used and all his tools. Like the house, the garage is now an empty place. After being with my husband for 42 years I am on my own trying to struggle through each day.

I do have kids and two little grandson’s but their mam needs to get out and about and be with people her own age and with similar interests. I feel a total burden most of the time.

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Hi yes totally understand your situation, I haven’t reverted to the samaritons but just screamed cried and shouted when I can’t do something my partner always took care of. I have found that the only way is to reach out to friends/family for advice if you are worried. I don’t like to bother anyone if I can help it but no one knows what’s going on in your head and they think you’re OK. Try to reach out more and you maybe surprised. I have also been having counselling and it kind of helps as its the only person I can really talk to. Hope I’ve been of help. Take care like to chat again :heartbeat:

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My garage is set up for my husband by my husband. It is so hard to go in there - he should be there.

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Dear Heather

Thank you. I have two adult kids. One lives local but has two babies under 2 and our daughter lives down your way so not able to see her as much as I would like. Lots of people offered to be there for me after my husband died but when I tried to get in touch the majority never returned my calls, were ‘unable to help’ or were too busy. So I have ploughed through the challenges with limited help or having to do things myself.

I am on a waiting list for counselling and hoping this might help with some of my issues. I now have health problems following my husband’s death and suffered extreme weight loss. I have no interest in anything except our kids and grandsons. Our plans for retirement were taken from us on that fateful day and I struggle with the way in which he died and this tends to push me close to the edge. I never thought I would ever find myself needing to contact the Samaritans but they have helped me in the early hours when the screaming and crying just overwhelm me.

Take care and yes hope to chat again.

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Dear Jules4

I can understand. We moved new owners house four years ago just two streets away and the new occupants tell me that they have left our former garage the same way that my husband left it also. He was so particular about his tools, everything had its place and had to be returned to the same position.

I cannot bear to move his coats

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Thank you :slightly_frowning_face:

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Hi
I lost my partner on 2 nd of June and I am completely alone. Have friends and colleagues some who have been good the ones you expect or hoped not been there! We were committed I have a beautiful ring but he passed away and is buried in Northern Ireland as he wanted although he had lived in Wales with me for 3 years. Since his passing and even whilst with him at end of life his family didn’t really consider how I felt… I helped him make choices to be with his family but was no consideration how I felt as a partner surrounded by many strangers during the wake and funeral. Since home I am totally alone no blood relatives and no contact from my fiancé family as if I wasn’t a part of his life! Not even involved in funeral plans , if he had told me any wishes!! Feeling overwhelmed and distraught… my life is empty :broken_heart:

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after reading all of these stories, I think the poster might see that despite other family, one can still feel alone.

I have my cousins but they are overseas.

friends … you can feel alone no matter how much family. I think a spouse is irreplaceable because unless your children live with you, most do not, you will be alone inside a house.

the best thing to do is make the best of it. I have seen where people in their 70s! got married! there are many who cannot bear to be alone and they marry. people who have lost their spouses but march on.

I live among older people and because NO ONE wants to be alone, not really, they get together. I know a couple late 50s got married. now 70s. so it does happen if it might be an option.

my aunts neighbor was interested in her. she was a widow in her 70s.

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people more and more are loosened from societal constraints so people date at all ages. no one should bear being so miserable and alone … that is not right.

my friend nearly 80 met her man friend at a retirement adult class. both retired PhDs. they may not be intimate but she takes care of him and they tell each other how much they love each other. he is in his late 70s. so people do need one another, always.

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It’s 15 months for me and there is no way on this earth I would ever be with anyone else he was the love of my life and nobody could ever come close to him . But everyone is different. I am totally alone no kids no pets my siblings live in another country . I still just try to get up every day .
Xx

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I am completely alone , so done with it now .

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@Angie4
Hi Angie…yes, I am completely alone too!
It’s hard isn’t it? I lost my Geoff 33 months ago.
He was the best thing that ever happened to me…loved me…always had my back… …and made my life worthwhile.

I lost most of my immediate family when I was young…apart from my brother…who died of lung cancer 10 years ago. We had no kids…so yes I can say I am alone.

Only a few days ago I was asked, on a form, who my next of kin was…and who to notify in the event of an accident…

I couldn’t think of an answer…how sad is that!

It’s a big old cold world when nobody has your back!

Hugs x

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@Solitaire hi solitaire i also am alone apart from our pets. My partner passed 15months ago and it is so hard without them. I was asked months ago about a next of kin and i couldn’t give them anyone. So my partner is still down as my next of kin. She was and always will be the thing that ever happened to me and she gave me the happiest and best years of my life. Take care sending hugs x

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Hi Solitaire , its a terrible existence when you have no one . Every morning when i wake up it hits me , another lonely day to get through . I really don’t know why i am still here . Take care.
Love Angie xx

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Yes, that’s just how I am. My beloved Vas passed in February this year and I’m alone for the first time in 53 years. There’s no family here, I wasn’t able to have children.
Now, it seems that my sister in Australia is dying too and I can’t stop crying. We weren’t close and I think my tears are really for my Vas. The pain is too much.

@Casey1 …,Hi Casey…thanks for the hugs!
Sorry my reply has taken a while…sometimes I just don’t know how to respond to all the pain on here…
So I retreat into my shell…

However you are quite right…when you mentioned having your pets! I have my gorgeous collie Ella. She was actually Geoffs girl…even though I brushed her, fed her, and cleared up after her lol!

Her presence keeps me going…she gives .our walks a purpose…she gives my life a purpose! So…I start worrying that she’ll go too! She’s 9 yrs old…so hopefully isn’t going anywhere yet…but life’s taught us to take nothing for granted!

Sending hugs back atcha
Sam xx

@Angie4. Hi angie…only just getting round to replying to people who were kind enough to send me their thoughts.
As I mentioned to Casey…sometimes it all seems too hard…even replying to others in pain.

So thank you for your reply…and I send you hugs…and a hope for some peace in your life…

Sam xx

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@LisaVas…,.I’m so sorry you’re without your Vas…your love. I hear what you say about you and your sick sister not being close…and I’m sure most of your tears are for your Vas…

But I also know that, close or not, the death of a family member still hurts…it’s still the end of an era…

I lost my father many years ago…we did not have a good relationship…we hadn’t spoken for many years…but when I heard of his death I cried.

Maybe I was crying for what we never had…and now never would have. Of course at that time I had my Geoff in my life…and had no idea of the excruciating pain that his death would bring me…

Sending understanding and hugs
Sam xxx

Thank you Sam. You really do understand X