It is 10 months since my beloved husband died. I am feeling so very very tired all the time and it seems to be getting worse. I feel like I am walking through treacle. Is this tiredness normal? Please share Does anyone else feel like this. Waking up in the morning and still feeling as if I have had no sleep. So tired. xxxx
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Morning Rockstar,
Yes, I still get bouts of tiredness and I am further down the bereavement journey than you. Waking up in a morning is still an ordeal as I miss Pete especially at this time of day as we would make plans however mundane, You are so right that it is like walking through treacle. Sorry this probably isn’t much help but just wanted to let you know that you are not on your own with these feelings as when you think about it what a shock to our bodies when bereavement hits us.
I remember saying to one friend …I feel as though I’ve been hit by a bus. Thinking of us all on this tiresome journey. Love Jenny x
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Hi Rockstar, I lost my husband Matt in May last year. And among all the other thoughts constantly going through my mind I know I am unusually tired and have no energy to do things I still have to do. I’m 54 and the thought of years of this grief and total tiredness makes me feel even less energetic. My parents are both still alive and have more energy than me. So I think it’s just part of this horror story for us all xx
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Thank you Jenny,
It is good to know I am no alone feeling this way and a member of a club nobody wants to be in! You are right I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus too.
What an awful journey we are all on. Just have to keep going one day at a time as best we can. Love Susan x
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Yes it’s the Rocky Horror show - hence my name on this forum. The thoughts of years of this grief and tiredness is debilitating and I know exactly how you feel.
Love Susan x
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I also lost my partner in april last year and have no energy at all tired constantly but i feel.so depressed so maybe thats not helping .Even the smallest things like need to get my mobile contracy renewed is an up hill battle .He would sort all.that out now its so hard on my own and its a journey none of us wanted to be on and struggling now ,He started declining last year at this time was in hospital for 3 weeks to be told nothing more they can do.We got him home and looked after him memories of that time still.traumatise me .xxx
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It’s been 17 months since I lost my special person and although I have always managed to sleep pretty well, I feel constantly exhausted. Sometimes I sleep for 9-10 hours straight but still wake feeling unrested and unmotivated. I’m hoping sunnier days and warmer weather will help. Grief is a huge weight to carry and it’s not surprising we feel like this I guess
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Rockstar .i lost my gorgeous beautiful late wife sue on the 1st February last year.constantly tired and no energy or enthusiasm to do anything.some days i feel like giving up but I made sue a promise to carry on fighting for life. Also got medical issues and a right below knee amputee since December 2019 but now need more surgery on my right knee twisting over and a bone spur plus a crack in the kneecap so waiting for more surgery xx
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Hope, I feel exactly the same. Peter used to sort things - like energy bills etc. Now every time there’s something new to deal with I panic and get really stressed - even the little things . It’s an uphill battle. My darling husband had an aortic dissection in 2017, out of the blue and given a 2 percent chance of surviving. He had always been in excellent health. He was operated on and given a false aorta and a titanium heart valve. He was so lucky to survive and was able to live a fairly normal life. Last year out of the blue he got sepsis which caused endocarditis, had a stroke and then after us both catching covid in hospital he died after 10 days. Covid tipped the balance. When he knew he only had a day at most to live the hospital brought him home at his request. We set up the bed in the living room. He got home at 4 pm and died at 8 - so had 4 hours at home. The memories of how he died are etched in my memory. I think I am suffering from grief and PTSD. It’s so hard when you lose the love of your life. Sending love, Susan
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Oh its awful what they went through i wonder also if i have ptsd .He had the hospital bed in the living room and tried everyday to walk a few steps bless him he would never accept he was dying until2 or 3 days before he passed He was home 6 weeks and im reliving it having flash backs no one should have to go through that ever xxx
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I also have flashbacks for me it’s seeing my husband who was strong fit man just keep seeing him sat on edge our bed his ribs visibly from his back , think I have ptsd also , counsellor says not to try and get image from my mind as need to process it coming up to a year for me next month , take care all x
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Thank you for writing this post, I feel exactly the same and honestly thought I was ill. My husband passed away in feb last year and Valentine’s Day and his anniversary are coming up and I’m dreading both.
I feel so exhausted, everything is really hard work and it seems to be getting worse. I know I’m very depressed and my anxiety has got much worse too. Friends are trying to support me but I just want to hide under the duvet. Seeing people at the moment is really hard. I don’t want to get upset in front of them and being ok takes even more energy.
I’m 56 and I’m the only person in all my family/friendship groups that have lost a partner so they find it hard to understand.
I have no idea what my purpose is anymore and wonder how I’m going to fill the coming years as it feels so pointless without my husband. All I hear is things will get easier after the 1st anniversary, but I feel worse now than I did when my husband died. I went into doing/coping mode, holding everyone else up. Nearly a year on and there’s no one there to hold me up as everyone expects me to move on now.
Sorry it’s such a depressing reply xx
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It’s 15 feb for me , your so right it is exhausting pretending to be ok when it’s not it feels as if I’m living 2 lives my pretend ok life and my not ok life it’s so exhausting 
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I’m 61 my husband was 58 when he died the thought of 20 plus years is also exhausting x
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It seems we are all near the one year doasnt it .And yes the memories are haunting me .Im 72 soon and dont at this moment in time see anything changing for the better xxx
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I am so glad I read this, my husband died two years ago, and I thought this fatigue was just me.
I feel so lazy sometimes.
Knowing I am not alone helps to make sense of it all
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You are definitely not alone I’m sat looking at pile of ironing getting bigger by the day can’t motivate myself to tackle it , thinking do it tomorrow if not hopefully get it done eventually, take care
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Oh my god, Rockstar thank you so, so much for writing this. I can’t believe you wrote it, and not me. It’s word for word what I am feeling. My beloved husband died May last year, lately I have been feeling this exhaustion, like you so aptly described as wading through treacle. Sometimes I find myself just sitting looking at the wall, not thinking of anything much, and not even seeing the wall. It’s like I’m brain dead.
I’m so tired, and don’t see the point of anything. I’m 64, but feeling 84.
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I lost my husband just 9 months ago I also get so exhausted and tired I can’t get up in the morning I have to push myself to do things even to cooking, people think I’m ok but inside my heart is broken and I’m just not coping at all
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I’m so pleased to have found this thread. I’m exactly the same and it’s so reassuring to know others are in the same boat. Everything is taking me so long to do ( that’s when I can be bothered at all)! I was so energetic before and I used to always be nagging Alan to do things when he wanted to chill. Now I feel like I could chill for England! I just love my sofa and I too spend lots of time staring into space. What’s really worrying is that I have to go back to work tomorrow which means getting ready on time, remembering passwords ( actually remembering what I actually do as well). Wish me luck, I think I’m going to need it!
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