So sorry for your loss. I lost my husband twelve months ago it doesn’t seem to get any easier for me. With the grace of God I will fight through this awful pain.
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Thank you. It’s so very hard isn’t it? The pain I feel is immense. It feels like he’s torn my heart out. X
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thanks for the kind words. Sorry to hear about your best friend. I don’t have a sister either and Greg was my best friend. My girlfriends all drifted off a long time ago and nobody understood me except Greg anyway. I am hoping that I get some help today or at least put in the right direction. I’m not sure what to expect of it and that’s the problem isn’t it, finding one that you can get along with and build trust. I know everyone on here is or has felt the same thing and it has been a real source of comfort for me, even just to read or sometimes post, not expecting a response but getting so many nice words from you all. I really appreciate it xx.
Thanks to all of you for sharing. Time only seems to make it harder and I am not expecting it to get any easier either, I don’t see how it could. I know what they mean when they say that time heals (but honestly I don’t want to hear that right now) and I think we are meant to let our lives grow around our grief as it will never leave us but that seems impossible too. It is very scary how we are all going through this at the same time with lots of similar stories of what happened, even the illnesses and timelines of what happened. Its very alarming to me.
I feel exactly as you do. Counsellor said to me that the grief will never go, my life will only grow around it. Doesn’t seem possible. Few family and friends. I dread getting up every morning.
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I just talked to the woman from the hospital. she wasn’t actually a grief counsellor at all but a social worker and she thinks its too soon to be talking to one in this acute phase of grief as I won’t gain anything from it. I need to come back to it a little later and psychology might be better but she was also concerned I was all alone with no one to talk to at all. I could try and see what happens. Confusing. So back to where I was. I think it’s just always been me and Greg and it still is only in a different way and I just have to do this myself, even though it feels impossible and I hate the mornings so much too. As bad as the rest of the day and night is, the mornings are the worst.
yes i am here we can talk
Hi roger2. thanks for posting. Speaking to her was my achievement set for today and I did it and we’ll see what happens. I am finding posting here and reading everyone’s experiences a kind of therapy in itself. Not the same as speaking face to face with someone I guess but its still helpful.
Dear all, it’s so painful but also strangely comforting reading your stories.
Elaine’s funeral is on Monday so I’ve been kept busy with plans and arrangements.
As you may have read from me previously, she took her own life whilst in a lot of turmoil over her ongoing physical illness. Absolute tragedy as we both had so much to look forward to, but she only saw a grim and painful future.
Heartbroken is the best way to describe me at present.
For the first time I decided to visit a local cafe for lunch. Lots of couples and groups around me, chatting and laughing. But I’m sat here alone with a cold cup of coffee. At least I have this group to unload on .
Sad, Ian x
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Oh Ian. So sorry to read this. Can’t imagine how u are feeling. I’m still in pieces after almost 9 weeks of losing Brian. I see the same as you, couples it’s so hard. Elaine must have felt so desperate. We can only guess how much they were suffering. Brian said a few times he wished he never woke up because it was too much for me. That upset me as I just wanted to look after him until the end. It’s what you do for the one you love so much.
How brave were you going for a coffee! Thinking of you.
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The feeling of being alone is horrendous I dog walk joined sailing club it did not help so aware of being alone feels like a stigma its early days 6 months so I hope the pain will recede I think it’s an emotion I must go threw I have no interest to do and no energy. You are not alone hang on to a good memory feel it re live it until you smile little pockets of happiness helps. X
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Hi gns247. Always remember the Samaritans. They are there day & night to talk to & will listen to you anytime you feel lonely & desperate. Much love to you.
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My husband passed away on the 25th Sept four years ago. Why not try advertising on this site to meet with people who live in the same area. I met with some lovely people and we formed a group so that we could have a meal and talk.
I hope you find someone in your area. The worst thing about grief is the never ending lonelinesd
thanks Sadanna. I don’t actually live in the UK. They sound like a great bunch to be there 24/7. we have the other helplines that I have already called and it was “nice” to talk to someone for a little bit but not very helpful in guiding me towards some other supports. I feel they didn’t really know what to say to me. xx
So true, painful but comforting. I am so sorry about your wife. My dad took his own life too so I know how shocking and confusing it is. Losing your partner is so completely different of course. I know how you feel going out in public. you have done better than me. i only walked down the street and couldn’t handle it. everything seems so loud to me now. the funeral planning does keep you “distracted” if that is the right word. this group is very comforting and just being able to post even not expecting a reply is helpful. we are all heartbroken together.
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Hi.I was so sad to hear about your loss. I lost my husband of 67 in 2019. So I know exactly how you are feeling. It’s too raw at the moment but 3 yrs on it does get easier. I’m lucky that I have two wonderful son’s, four grandchildren ,family and friends to support me but I still have my sad moments. This is a wonderful platform and people are so kind.X
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thank you peacefulspot. I think the sad moments will be there forever and that’s ok. This platform is definitely the best thing I have done or am doing for myself right now, so thanks everyone and I hope you are all getting some comfort out of it too xx.
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Caz, it’s a week further on for you, how are you? Stupid question I know but we need to ask x
Have you found any support or help?
Ian
Hey, I lost my partner David of 19 years on Tuesday, he was 59. I can relate to your loneliness feeling. My parents are in their 80’s. I live in Scotland, they live in England. My sister lives in Ireland. I know what you are feeling. I feel for you. Please don’t be scared, you are not alone.
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My heart goes out to all of you 
. Grief is a very hard journey. x
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