Can you tell me when you are crying for your loved one do you sob like it’s coming from your toes? Had a meltdown this morning in public and despite saying I would be ok people wanted to get me an ambulance. Had parked and was walking away when this creature shouted at me to move my car. I didn’t understand why as no yellow lines, signs or otherwise. Turns out its the pavement at the side of his garage and he wanted it for his own cars. This caused me to get very upset and ended with me phoning police to find out the law. No Colin to help. I told the man I was recently bereaved to which he said he didn’t care. Police said don’t get upset at silly things! Hope Karma helps this man understand.
Dear Katie
No, it is not just you! Tears of grief have a mind of their own and a seemingly endless source…sometimes they trickle, sometimes they flow and, unfortunately, sometimes they mimic the Niagara Falls!
I am so sorry that you had such an unpleasant encounter this morning…I hate to say this but I honestly think that the majority of today’s society can see no farther than their own ego…perhaps the man concerned had valid reasons that we can’t know but he certainly had no right to say what he did and the police are so overworked that i think you should understand “silly” to mean “not an emergency as we understand an emergency to be”;
You are not at all silly…you are a brave lady trying to come to terms with the most horrendous of experiences…the loss of the other half of you. One day, that man may also experience loss and possibly his words may come back to haunt him…don’t let them haunt you!
It is very early days for you and there will be many more tears ahead…they are often exhausting and sometimes embarrassing… but they are the living proof of our never ending love and we learn to manage them and accept them.
Take care x
Goodness, amelie’sgran is so right. I too am so sorry about your loss.
But ignore such ignorance as you encountered. There are a lot of bad tempered individuals about like that. Don’t allow it to get to you. You are, at the moment, upset and so vulnerable to such happenings. It’s strange how we seem to attract such problems and people when we are in this state. It may be that when things were OK we just shrugged them off and forgot them. Our emotions are like an open wound at this time.
As for crying, yeah I sure have done my share and I’m a bloke and blokes are not supposed to cry. Well this bloke does! Never use the words 'silly or ‘stupid’ in describing how you feel. There’s never anything silly or stupid about grief. We may say or do things that we would not have done before, and that’s normal.
I can imagine how embarrassed you would have felt bursting into tears in public. But to cry is a natural emotion and often gives a little relief. Seeing someone cry should be seen as someone in distress and we should help. But, alas, modern society being what it is most would probably pass by on the other side.
Yes, maybe Karma will make him realise his faults. I hope so for his own wellbeing.
As we give out so we receive. I would rather give love and receive accordingly. It’s so much easier than being nasty and much more rewarding. Bless you, and take it easy.
My heart goes out to you Katie. What a horrible man and an even worse experience for you. Our emotions are shot to pieces when grieving and I have found that this normally strong, capable person, will have a meltdown for the simplest of reasons. If something just isn’t right or something said that normally I wouldn’t bother with, I become so upset I can’t stop thinking about it, sometimes for days. Overreacting for sure. Were just not ourselves.
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Thank you Jonathan I knew I could rely on my friends to make me feel better. I-never even glanced at the man he was obviously on his strong man bully women week. On top of it all it was my first day out after having food poisoning from Sunday. No wonder we miss our partners so much. Thanks again K xx
Thank you Pat I never felt so alone or unhappy in my life. Maybe we look vulnerable I appreciate all your support. He must love his power how sad. LoveK xx
Thank you so much Amelie’s gran you are so wise. I missed my appointment and sat at home all day wondering why he was so cruel and ruminating over it. I need to put it behind me as I know he’s not worth it. Thanks for the support I knew I could rely on. Love K xx
Sounds like you had a horrible day. I believe in karma.
I remember once someone had a go at me , telling me to move my car as he couldn’t get his van by and I was parked right outside my house (and not in obscure way) police were involved as he was so aggressive . I was 7 months pregnant at the time.
I also get melt downs in public and Sometimes one to one basis. Little things stress me out sometimes. Some occasions it’s stopped me from leaving my house. It’s been an effort to do the food shop etc.
Hi ctl 2019 thank you so much for replying it means a lot when you’re feeling like the proverbial. I was sobbing so hard I couldn’t catch my breath. I am in my 70s and was so intimidated on top of Colin being away only 8 weeks. Sometimes I don’t want to go out either as some people are so cruel but then the troops on here rally round and I remember the good ones. Much love K xxx
Thanks for the reply. Feel determined not to let the very few bring me down
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Some people are self absorbed and have no empathy for their fellow earth dwellers.
Unfortunately, aggression triggers shock which can leave us unempowered
When my mum passed away any strong emotion displayed to me by others would trigger a breakdown.
I believe in karma there is no excuse for being mean.
Some people don’t get that even the simplest tasks are hard when you are bereaved emotions run strong.
Fortunately, not everyone is like that focus on those you love, that helped me move forward eventually.
Some people are self absorbed and have no empathy for their fellow earth dwellers.
Unfortunately, aggression triggers shock which can leave us unempowered
When my mum passed away any strong emotion displayed to me by others would trigger a breakdown.
I believe in karma there is no excuse for being mean.
Some people don’t get that even the simplest tasks are hard when you are bereaved emotions run strong.
Fortunately, not everyone is like that focus on those you love, that helped me move forward eventually.
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Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. I never realised why I stood like an idiot but this makes sense. Love K xx
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That’s interesting what you’ve said about aggression triggering shock. Your so right
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After Brian died I decided that I would not get involved with any unpleasant people. Brian was very easy going and did not become bother with confrontations. However just six weeks after he died I was tending his grave when it was just becoming dark one night and lads let off fireworks by me. My little dog is terrified of fireworks and broke loose and ran off onto the road and along it. It so frightened me that he would get hit by a car. Fortunately I caught him but couldn’t let the incident go and went back to challenge the people letting off fireworks in a cemetery. I spoke politely but asked them not to do such a thing in that place or anywhere else at 5p,m, I of course got the bad language and name calling, the usual. Waste of time with such rude thoughtless people.
Pat that is so scary. And then you think about it for days until it makes you ill. What is wrong with people? You’re just going about your own business and they’ve got to do something cruel. I’ve been very down again today and keep thinking about that man from yesterday. Colin was very friendly but I’ll bet that idiot wouldn’t have said that to a man. Hoping for a better day tomorrow. Love and hugs K xxx
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People will always give you a reason for doing what they did.
The truth is they had no place letting off fireworks in a cemetery.
They are never the villain in their own story.
You are right to give such people a wide birth. Life is far too short.
People will always give you a reason for doing what they did.
The truth is they had no place letting off fireworks in a cemetery.
They are never the villain in their own story.
You are right to give such people a wide birth. Life is far too short.
Also you are used to being with calm peaceful people. They don’t fall into that category.
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Bless you Katie. It’s a shame that the thoughtlessness of others can have an effect.
In grief we are vulnerable and we do get effected.
One day that man will experience grief and will be vulnerable.
Tomorrow is another day hopefully more positive for you :0)
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Thank you for your kind words. Xxx