Is it normal?

I lost my sister 5 weeks ago and naturally I’m heartbroken but also I’m so angry at her for not fighting harder and for how she kept saying she doesn’t want to be here now she isn’t but mostly I’m jealous of her she gets to rest and I still have to keep going

Dear Lost87,

Without knowing the circumstances about your sister’s death, it is difficult to respond to your post, but from what I have seen on this site and read about bereavement, anger is one of many normal emotions people can feel when they are grieving.
When you say your are jealous of her, does that mean you are thinking of not wanting to live? If that is the case, I would urge you to talk with someone.
If you click on this link, you will see a number of organisations you could contact, such as the Samaritans:
I hope that you also have friends or family members who can support you at this sad time in your life. Please feel free to keep posting on this site as often as you want. There is always someone who will reply. xx Jo

Hi she had bone cancer it all happened so fast she went into hospital 3 weeks before Christmas with back pain came out Christmas Eve then back in on 3rd she seemed fine making plans then on the 9th she stopped breathing managed to resuscitate her and put her in a coma then just hours later she was gone. I’ve been suicidal since 13 and I guess yes that’s why I’m jealous because she can rest she doesn’t have to keep living and for me I’ve always said I’m only here for my cats and once they go I’m gone but I can’t talk to my family about this I’m not really apart of the family I’m like the outcast but since my sisters death I have to be strong for them and care for them which is so hard because I have nobody for me even my friends are more concerned for my other sister so at times I feel like I could just crumble from the pressure

Hi Lost87,

I’m so sorry to hear about your sister. It sounds like you’re grieving while also dealing with your own depression and also supporting your family. It would be a lot for anyone.

It sounds like you need more support and I’m glad you were able to express that here. There is lots of other support out there, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.

  • Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.
  • Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text SHOUT to 85258 and talk to them about anything.
  • If you are at risk of harming yourself, please call 999 or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.

Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here:

You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.

You deserve care and support so please get in touch with one of these services.

Take care,

Thank you so much I will definitely be reaching out thank you for the information and links xx