Hi MeeBee
To feel bullied into leaving a site such as this is just not acceptable. Please remember that there are more good people here than the bullies. If this site is helping you and you are being helped by people here then ignore them. You must take care of yourself. You can also report any unsavory replies to the SR Admin and let them deal with the problem.
Pat
xxx
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Yes I’ll definitely help them as they were wonderful to me when my mum died. My heart hurts for them. It’s also only 2 days after my mums first year anniversary so it has catapulted me back to those awful Early days
I hope you are ok Pat. It’s always lovely to hear from you
IS THERE A SCALE? The answer is simple…NO!
A scale is a measurement…how can you measure someone else’s grief?!!
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Hi AL2020. Exactly!! That’s why I asked the question. There were some on here who were telling others that because they had ‘only’ lost a parent they had no idea what grief was like when losing a partner. Which is, of course, pure nonsense. That was my reason for opening the thread. No ulterior motive just asking a plain question which needed looking at, well in my opinion. But, as so often happens, my motives were questioned by a few.
You are absolutely right. There can be no measurement.
Thanks for that. John.
Sue Ryder was a beacon for me I don’t think I got have got through my losses without Sue Ryder and all those that posted messages was amazing it’s very hurtful to hear of negativity to hear that u that you left the site because of this is very disturbing as I said it was my life line for a long time I don’t post anymore and don’t use it much anymore only because I am trying a different method of going through my grief please use it and take all the kind and wonderful messages that are on here there are amazing thouful and caring people out there use it as I said I survived because of it
sbecause of this is
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Hi. Georgecooper. Yes, it was the same for me. I came upon the site by chance, if there is such a thing, and it has helped me enormously.
I’m sorry you are not using the site anymore because it’s people like you with the experience that can help others. But I respect the fact that you are finding a different approach. Some have left the site because of the hassle, but let’s hope that nonsense has stopped.
Take care and, I hope, maybe see you later. Take care. John.
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Hi
This topic has proven very interesting and from what I have been reading has proven beneficial to most of us. From my own experience of grief I have discovered that we don’t choose how or who we grieve for, it comes from our heart and souls. Grief has no mercy and is the most painful of experiences to have to go through. No matter who we are grieving for. Tolerance and understand springs to mind.
xxx
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Thank you Pat. After 50 odd relies, the majority of which were positive, it could have been needed contrary to what a very few thought. Without the divisive comments it could have been a good thread. I have no objection to anyone disagreeing. But being accused of ‘Trolling’ was a bit too far.
Keep going Pat, it’s all we can do. Best wishes. John.
Hi John what a great and soul searching question in my opinion grief is a unique experience and there is no scale it is is unique to the person affected, whether it be a spouse child or parent we all have to make our own way through this experience hope this helps John take care
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Hi. Andy. Welcome to the site. Of course it is a unique experience and it would be foolish to try and evaluate how it affects others. There can be no scale in grief, impossible. We all grieve in our own way and own time.
Thank you for your post. There have been many who have replied in a positive way and all have agreed with you.
Take care and come back whenever you feel the need. John.
I have found a great deal of comfort from this site, Andy. I don’t believe that there is a scale of grief, each loss brings it’s own type. My husband died one year ago, I found him on our bedroom floor, we were very lucky to have 59 years of marriage, it is never enough.
Blessings,
MaryL
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Hi. Mary. Of course there is no scale of grief. I put in my original thread ‘only asking’. It was because there had been comparisons on the site between losing a parent or a partner. Some seemed to think losing a parent was less of a bereavement that losing a partner, which is, of course, not true. The depth of grief can never be measured at all. What possible yardstick can we use?
Good to talk to you again Mary. Take care and Bess you. John.
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I can only talk personally
Losing grandparents and then dad at 15 was hard
Mum dying in 2011 at 75 knocked me for a while but losing my hubby after 44 yrs of marriage has been devastating, its 2 yrs now and I still cry for him everyday
Everything changes every aspect of my life
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Absolutely Sue, absolutely. Your words are true for me too. xx
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