I use to take my partner for chemotherapy at our local Hospital .
When they taken her to the ward for treatment l would go to the Chapel and pray for Pauline which I never told Pauline at all.
For two years I did this until she passed away I suppose I am not alone but am I just praying to a wooden cross or is there something else.
I feel it is just a wooden cross but I what to believe but finding it hard
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Oh wow, this is a massive question and who can really answer it with absolute certainty?
I grew up attending church, first Sunday school and then big church, as we called it. I believe in God but I wouldn’t say I am religious. I think I’m more spiritual since losing my husband and I do believe in the spirit world. What is any religion but a faith, a belief?
Quote: Spirituality is about seeking a meaningful connection with something bigger than yourself, which can result in positive emotions, such as peace, awe, contentment, gratitude, and acceptance.
I get the greatest comfort from my belief that David is out there in spirit form. I feel him close. He is all around me and it is this which enables me to continue my life.
I have read books about spirituality and I believe that, in the spirit world, there is only love. Our loved ones are not sad nor hurting. For a long time after David had passed I imagined him to be very sad because his life, which he loved, had been cut short suddenly. He had just retired and had lots of plans and I imagined him looking down feeling so very sad. This really was excruciating for me on top of my grief. I couldn’t bear the thought of him being sad.
I now get through each day feeling his presence around me. I must believe he will be waiting for me when it’s my turn to leave this world. Otherwise, what’s the point? Gosh, that’s a whole new question…
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Hi Kate
Yes we are old school I use to go to Sunday School in the sixty’s.
But I was beside my partner when she passed away holding her hand but felt nothing and saw nothing it was to say the least the worst experience of my life and then I thought all those pray’s were in vain and at that point my beliefs were different.
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I, too, have to believe he is around and that we will be together again. What is it all about otherwise? Pain and grief and then nothing?
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If its comforting believing our loved ones are at peace and pain free, watching us, waiting for us, then who is to say otherwise, none of us can ever be sure until its our turn to take that journey. Many have had signs from love’d ones, they find that comforting too, as for praying to a wooden cross, or any other prayer, again if its comforting, then why not, what is there to loose? If its all real you’ll have plent’y to gain.
We must all do whats best for ourselves, find comfort any way you can, I know I am, its what helps me put my feet on the floor every morning to face another day, its what gets me through, the dark loneliness of the night, faith, hope, belief call it whatever you want, if it helps us along this enormously painful Road then Im all for it.
Hugs Chrissy3
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My wife and I had some experiences in our 31 years together that eventually made us believe that there IS something beyond life on this earth.
I have never been particularly religious, but now I recite the Lord’s Prayer morning and night, pray for God to look after my wife and to come and take me to be by her side as soon as possible.
My wife was a devout but non-practising Roman Catholic, almost became a nun when she was 18. One of her most treasured possessions is an 18 inch statue of Our Lady. She was born with a disability and suffered great pain every day of her 54 years. Her last 6 months were particularly bad. This is why I now look back to the day my wife passed and believe that events that happened that day were supposed to happen the way they did. Otherwise she might still have been with me today, but still suffering the pain she endured. I believe the decision was taken by a higher power to end her suffering, that’s the only way I can (barely) cope with her loss.
Every single one of us is different, our experiences in life and our beliefs. But just because we can’t see or sense something it doesn’t mean that it can’t exist. We live our lives within a narrow band of what our senses allow us to experience. I’m not trying to convince anyone to believe certain things, but perhaps having an open mind is good approach. In terms of understanding the universe around us, humanity still has much more to learn.
So now I live each day talking to my absent wife, trying to sleep most afternoons when the day is unbearable, do the chores I have to do, and hoping for my demise so I can be reunited with my wife. And that is the only day I am looking forward to.
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I feel we all want to believe that we will be reunited with our love one’s and they are all around us all the time.
I not always being a religious person but have turned more to a pray for my Pauline and fingers crossed we may see each other again.
All I can do in life is take care of our children and to reassure Pauline that if she is watching she is pleased that I am doing a good job. This would make my heart feel warm.
Thank you all Billy xx
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Hi,
I often wondered the same question…at times in my life I wasn’t religious, then I got studying Jahova about 6 years ago. These people get a bad rep and everyone has their own views on things, I decided I had nothing to loose and gave it a try. Jahova god says in bible …once ur dead ur dead that’s it, the dead are conscious of nothing.
Now, I lost my mam really suddenly in March this year totally unexpected, to say I’m lost and devistated is an understatement. The bond and closeness we shared was amazing and I still somehow want to feel that, to still know she’s around me. So I stopped studying because my grieving heart still wants to talk to and hear from my mam to have that connection again. She told me when she was alive when she passed she would always be with me and look after me…so far nothing, no signs. I know she would fight tooth n nail to be with me 
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Emma I am sorry for your loss.
But I believe that the Bible was written by different people over the years and added there own personality to it.
Everyone is unique nobody is the same the way they act and look.
I gave my Pauline everything she wanted in life and attended to her needs when she was ill with cancer.
The last words she said to me in hospital under the influence of drugs was PLEASE HELP ME.
It was then I felt completely useless as I know I was not able to.
I wish I could bring her back but she is gone for good and there is no replacement.
So going back to God well no comment. The only good I get is by giving to your love one’s left behind and helping them through life xx
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maybe who knows. I hope not as I cant live twice
Hi bill
It’s awful, who knows what to believe when we just want our loved ones back. I didn’t normally believe in spiritualists etc thought they were a waste of money…my mam had been gone 4 months at the time I was really struggling I just wanted to hear from her I was so desperate. I paid to see one…she was supposed to be good but she wasn’t, she didn’t even know my mam had died. Total disheartening and waste of money. So I went to my local spiritual church a few times hoping for a message, it was amazing to see other people getting messages I just wanted one of my own xx
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Hi Emmab
I know it’s hard for you I feel your pain as I too would give anything to see, feel, smell my Pauline again.
She passed away July this year and were She is laid to rest I visit daily.
I talk to the photo on the head stone about things going on in life I know it sounds daft but I am sure I am not alone in this issue.
I feel if you get a comfort in what you do like I do and those words She said to you that she would always be there then if you can not see your mam I am sure she is there with you.
If I saw my Pauline now in a spirit form it would surely shock me and I am sure it would too.
Maybe in the future we will see our love one’s again you have to believe in something for hope 
xxx
Hi bill
Yeah I know what u mean if seen them might be shocked. Sounds daft but the dog gets up through the night wants out for wee. Every time I get up with him im always looking round the house for her or think I’ll see her sitting on sofa downstairs. I just think she can see how upset I am, why doesn’t she come to me. I need the signs to keep going. I think she’s waiting till I’m mentally stronger xxx
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Hi again Emmab .
I can see from your replies that I personally do not know your past history.
Was you a full time carer for your mam or do work.
To have that close bound with your mam you must of been looking after her full time.
Life is a like a jigsaw puzzle but there is a piece missing and it is upsetting its not complete.
I work full-time now it takes my mind away from the past until I come home to a empty home ,then it comes back to me the fact that Pauline is not here and all I do is talk to photos hanging on walls there is always a smiling expression on the face which always pleases me .
I like to talk about it and we can help each other I am sure.
Bill xx
Hi bill
Yes I was my mams carer so my whole world routine got shattered. I seen her every day talk to her every day. I too like looking at her photos I have up and see her smiling face but by god she is a huge miss xx
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Hi Emmab
Now I know the score are you the only child or do you have any members of family you can talk to or close friends who can support you.
I am sure that they will help you as I know the feeling that you are experiencing.
If not I will always be there as a friend xx
I sat with my husband the night before he died last April. He was unconscious and hadn’t moved for hours. He suddenly moved his arm from under the sheet and held it up in the air, with his hand placed as if he was about to hold someone else’s hand. After a few seconds he put his arm back on the bed. I never saw him move again. The next day I needed to go home to get my medication and while I was away he died. So many people have said he waited until I had gone to spare me the additional pain of watching him die. Maybe, I don’t know, but I know what I saw that night and I think he saw someone he knew who had come for him. I hope my dear husband will come for me…soon.
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Thanks bill,
Yeah I’m an only child. I only have my dad n I can’t talk to him about stuff like this. We used to talk about it but now we don’t. I guess we just deal with it on our own. My friends don’t understand as they still have their parents:…I think they got sick of listen to me talk about this stuff so I stopped talking to them about it. So came on this site to talk to people xx
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I don’t understand the setup as if I was your dad as I would be the full time carer .
Do you still live with your dad in the same house there something not quite right xxx
Hi cherry Anne
I don’t understand the circumstances regarding your late partners death.
But cancer patients get drug’s towards the end call Butterfly drug’s. Which ease the pain but confused the mind.
So maybe that’s the experience he was experiencing xx