Pauline really looked after you, didn’t she? It’s good to hear you’re carrying on looking after yourself, as you know it’s what she would want. Strangely enough, I had started cutting David’s hair. His sister was a hairdresser and had always done it but because of COVID we couldn’t visit her, so I did it and he had cut mine for well over 20 years. His sister said he did it really well! David would often comment on what I was wearing - even if it was to tell me I looked like a liquorice allsort when I was wearing pink and black! It’s just been such a tough year (my uncle died from COVID 4 weeks ago) that at the moment I feel completely exhausted but I will go back to wearing nail polish - definitely at Christmas, if not before. xx
Hello again cherryanne yes Christmas always use to put up the decorations.
We put Christmas cd on and have a drink while putting up together the decorations it’s was fun.
Not too sure about this one it seems strange just for one person.
We went abroad one Christmas to the canaries as we would travel 3 times a year at least Pauline and I loved the sun and a swim in the sea and coconut and melon man selling is products nice and refreshing.
All these things you do with your partner I shall miss.
You said you have garden projects.
My garden takes a lot time amazing how trees you trim grow so quickly.
The couple before us was a landscape gardener so imagine the effort that I have to put in every year.
Being here 20 years and getting older not getting any easier but I love nature and in the summer it’s great xx
Although difficult and you hurt, have you thought of another perspective.
I gave this a great deal of thought when my husband passed 4 years ago.
He had been ill just 6 weeks, he had never taken a day off work and it was a massive shock.
I am a qualified nurse so spent much time with many people and their families at the end of their life. This some how made it more difficult as I played the numerous scenarios over and over in my mind, wandering what the end would be for us and fearful of failing him and our 2 grown up children. Afterwards I realised how I’d put everyone above me and it was only I who had been failed. I take comfort from asking if he felt safe just as he passed and him nodding, yes. We were there for our loved ones in life and we were there at the end of their life. They knew they were loved and would be missed.
Whatever our faith or whether we believe in afterlife we all hope or pray that our loved ones get better, their pain be over and that they are safe.
Not everyone can get better but everyone is pain free and safe.
Not everyone can stay, we are all only visiting here. It’s not about how much time we spend here, or what we achieved, or how much money we earn it’s far more important. It’s about how we touch lives. How we help someone smile. It’s about learning, learning to be the best person we can. All you feel for your loved ones, know that the esteem you hold them in and the regard you afford was extended by them to you. Whether you believe you meet again or the end is final it’s the connection each day that matters and lives on.
Nothing in life is wasted, no matter how trivial or pointless we think, it’s all part of the plan. We all need to feel we can speak with someone who won’t judge, let our innermost feelings known without fear of them being laughed at… maybe some call this prayer.
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Hi nettle 27
I very sorry for your loss after a short illness.
You been a qualified nurse and not being to help must have been devastating.
All drugs that are taken daily by terminally ill patients cannot do the body any as they have all side effects.
My Pauline was one of them she would take upto 28 different tablets daily.
The oncologist didn’t really help much as if one drug didn’t help another would be prescribed.
This was lending to one thing at end as we all know.
I felt completely useless like you.
That’s why I am here like you as if say is any life after death because I didn’t have time to goodbye as she wouldn’t understand
I did see a spiritualist yesterday afternoon the only information I gave when booking the meeting was first name and that’s it.
She sat in a chair opposite me see explained that we all have a aura around us and it has different colours depending on the person.
When you have departed it lives your body and that is what she see .
This in the past I would of not dreamed of doing but I was desperate.
She said she could see Pauline with out me telling her the name.
She described her illness and I was speechless.
Pauline somehow was telling her things about life sisters etc and to top it the spiritualist said that at the early hours 3am Friday morning I woke up and Pauline was standing next to the bed and I did wake up at time and turned to clock to check the time and I don’t know why but in the darkness I said Pauline I miss you unaware that she was there.
I didn’t tell anyone about waking up at that time.
This then made me realise she was telling the truth.
I am lost for words and still in shock
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I would love to know if there is life after death, when I was caring for my mum in her last few weeks at home a couple of times she reached out to something and I hoped she saw some one who has passed before her, hopefully her mum , I lost my mum in July this year and its been so hard, I can’t accept she has gone yet, I have had a few signs when she first passed but nothing for a while now, I’m starting counselling next week & hoping that will help, I’ve thought about seeing a spiritualist but I’m a bit sceptic I think we will try anything just to feel our loved ones presence I know I’ll never be the person I was before I lost her but I just take a day at a time, take care everyone
Lynn
Hi Bill - I’ve been wondering whether to tell you I’ve seen mediums since David died and I didn’t know what to do. I really hope you got some comfort from seeing her. I spoke to one before David’s funeral, expecting to hear from my Mum as I thought it would be too soon to hear from David, but he came through. First thing the medium said was “Are you having a cremation”? David had said a few times, quite casually, that he wanted to be buried but we never talked about it seriously. I didn’t know what to do because I’m not sure if I will stay here or move and I didn’t want him to be buried here and if I move have a long journey back to visit his grave, so I made the decision to have a cremation but I was so worried that he would have been unhappy about it. I told the medium it was a cremation and she said that David said that was fine and to do whatever I thought was best. There was absolutely no way she knew about this but it was such a relief to know he approved. Some of what I’ve been told has been quite general and could relate to anyone but a lot more, from David and my Mum, has been so specific and nothing anyone else could have known about. I got recommendations from the local spiritualist church to be sure the mediums were genuine. The book I ordered has arrived and I’ve started reading it - very interesting x
Hi cherryanne it’s good she had a response from your David the clairvoyant that I had was highly recommended and difficult to book.
I first called not directly to her but a colleague who takes the bookings. The booking was next year so said OK and book a meeting in January. A hour later she called back and said she needs to see you as it is important.
All of this is hard to take in as only information given was my first name.
I surprised that you your self had a response from David as she told me that Pauline had not been long gone and it apparently takes time for the departed to go into the spirit world. I will have to go again as the things said can not be explained. Let me know how you get on with book x
Bill I really do feel guilty. I hugged Nige once and thought I’d felt a swelling to his upper back, this was some months before he was ill and he wouldn’t let me check. I never felt it again. 4 years ago tonight nigel went to go with shoulder pain. It had disturbed him the night before. Go did a basic ecg which was normal but wanted him to have another at the hospital. Whilst there they did bloods and kept him in for assessment. Next day he was told he had a shadow on liver… I knew then. The next day it was confirmed that he had cancer of the hall bladder and common bile duct. This is asymptomatic until too late but I’m convinced that this is e we had I felt. We won’t know if it would have made a difference if I’d insisted at that time.
Nigel spent 2 nights at hospital and was then discharged. He was offered radiotherapy but passed before it came… thankfully. He was on no medication. and had no pain. Two weeks before he passed he began to feel sick and was prescribed an oral antiemetic. I gave this intramuscularlh the last 4 days. Nige passed on Tuesday 19th December, 6 weeks to the day of his gp appointment and on the Friday evening we sat in mumbles watching a beautiful sunset. I sat making mental notes of everything around, I knew it would be our last visit together to a place we loved. Nige passed at 1pm, just 1 hour before his passing he and our son sat on the sofa watching football and screaming at the tv. I saw no decline but for some reason I called my daughter to come home from work. She took 20 mins to get message and drive home. By this time nigel was slipping but said’tell Louise to drive carefully… tell her to watch that bridge it’s narrow’.
Louise got home just in time to tell him she loved him. He looked at our children pitifully, I’ll never forget his look. I asked if he felt safe. It was all so peaceful.
A few months later I awoke to feel him laying behind me. I could feel the weight of his arm around me and his breath on my neck. It was so real that I expected he was there and that I had dreamt that he had passed. I’ve not had a dream of him since but everything I do has a significant date. I sold our home to move to a smaller house. Our home sold to the first person who viewed it. The viewing was on 7/11/18 one year to the day of nigels appointment. I moved in on 19/12/18. Nigels anniversary of his passing.
I decided to put garden room on house. They started work on nigels birthday26/3.
So many things fall in tk place and there will be a connection.
I don’t know what I think about life after death but always been interested and attended spiritualist meetings for decades.
What I will say is that I don’t think many will deliberately give false information but I think sometimes we can be eager to hear something from someone we love and can give more away than we realise. Sit quietly at a reading and don’t answer questions. Let the medium tell you, neither confirm or deny.
Having gone for many years there is only one medium who made me think there is something to this.
I went to a medium with a friend some 34 years ago, 2 years after my dad passed. We took an appointment made by and for my friends mother and her friend, so the medium had no name for us.
I’d said on way up that I’d be ok so long as he didn’t mention my dad. We knocked the door and he looked at me and laughed. He said Geoffrey Bernard is saying that you are nervous about him coming through. I’ll read you first.
He said that a lady had stepped forward who I called candy floss. It was my dads mum. She would set her white hair and mg cousin and I would say it looked like candy floss. He then said there was a lady who had a leg amputated in life was there and thanking me for visiting her the last night she was in hospital. My nan, my mums mum was due to come home from hospital the next day and I didn’t want to go to see her that night. My mum left to walk to hospital and I stayed with dad but ran after mum to see nan. She passed the next night. I was 7.
He also mentioned Natalie, Margery, Connie and Alan. I’d not heard of Alan or Natalie. The other 2 were dads cousins. Mum said Natalie had been disowned by the family and Alan had been killed at war, his body never found so his parents kept his room as it was until they passed. The message was that Alan was with my dad.
Another time I was on nights on a surgical ward and an elderly patient who had been in side room had been discharged that day to a residential home. During a ward round both the auxiliary and I heard her call out. We looked at each other as we hadn’t been checking the room. On checking the room was empty.
I had a very disturbed night at home and kept hearing one of our regular patients calling for me. When I went on duty the next morning the staff nurse in charge said that the patient had been calling for me all night.
I went in to see him and he said I’ve been waiting for you. I want to check that you know what to tell my daughter don’t you. With that he cardiac arrested and passed. He’d once spoken with me saying he just wanted to live long enough to see his daughter graduate. But if he didn’t, he was sure she would be successful in life.
I’m grateful nige didn’t suffer and that our children didn’t have to look on. He was with us right to the end.
Hi Nettie27
Thanks for coming back to tell me about your late Partner Nige.
I too feel guilty is some ways regarding Pauline her illness was long and she always put holidays first before any thing else. The reason why I say this is we booked a cruise in 2018 for September as we booked the cruise in April unaware off events that would change Pauline’s future.
You see Pauline has had breast cancer for a long time back in 1999 she had left breast treated local excision lymph modes removed and chemotherapy and radiotherapy and that controversial drug called Tamoxifen .
She had the all clear which is great as we enjoyed life again.
Any way back to 2018 between those months before the cruise Pauline could feel a small lump in her right breast she told me about it I said we should see the GP and both knew what it was.
I not sure why Pauline didn’t want to go and have it checked l think she was afraid and didn’t want to relive the past again.
I wish I had insisted that she should go but that’s easy for me to say as I had not experienced my self.
I still wonder now would it change events and she might still be here I will never know.
She had a appointment the following year but it was to late she was diagnosed with metastatic stage 4 cancer
I was heart broken as her sister also came along for support
and three of us listened to the consultant giving Pauline the bad news.
She passed away July this year.
I still have to say it again l wish I had insisted back in 2018 and to all the ladies who read this please don’t hesitate if you have a problem.
It was a lovely day yesterday so I thought I would tackle the back garden as needed doing it is a major event as it takes 3 hours to do.
As I was getting the leaves up first this Robin appeared I thought nothing of it as we get Robins every year .
But this one seemed to follow me around even when I started the lawnmower up I thought it was hungry and looking for worms and then I realised what the spiritualist mentioned on the Friday she said look for a Robin.
I don’t know why but I started calling it Pauline and said hello it a good job I have not got a over looked garden as niegbours would think I have lost the plot.
It was nice meeting a new friend and enjoyed its company
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Hi Lynne2691. I do believe in life after death. I believe in God, Jesus & that we go to heaven after we die. My husband who died 21months ago also shared my belief. Even though I know I will see my husband again one day my grief & my day to day life is sometimes unbearable. It is getting a little easier as time goes by but it’s still painful. Take care of yourself & allow yourself to grieve & cry.
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It’s calming reading your comments on here. I Don’t know what I think. I like to think there’s life after death its reassuring thinking I will be with my husband again.
But until our time comes all we can do is get comfort from thinking we will be together again.
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Yes Sue I agree with you , I don’t know what i believe anymore, I don’t even know what way is up anymore. I play West Life “I’ll see you again” all the time as I find it comforting , as I hope I will see my loved ones again . We can hope anyway.
Take care Jss
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I was not sure my self if there is life after death, but certain things happen to all of us we cannot explain.
I would have been the last person to go to a clairvoyant and some one recommend this one.
So l called for a meeting only using my mobile and first name only. That’s the only information she got.
I was there one and quarter hour was told not to ask questions or talk.
She was comincating with my partner and told me things that only I and my partner would know.
Completed honest I was lost for words and this made me think there is something else.
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