Is this as good as it gets

Just woke up this morning thinking well this is it this is my life this is as good as it gets. I feel dead inside longing for my old life with Jim. I’m absolutely devastated and feel as alone another day to face and try to fill with doing meaningless things just trying to keep busy to take my mind off the awful reality of my life.

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My feelings exactly,is this as good as it gets from now on.Alone and empty life.You have written everything I feel ,worthless nothing life ,who needs this ,not me ,I watch tv from morning til night ,scanning through all the channels ,Netflix,Prime etc.It is a meaningless existence as you say . Michael x

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I agree with you,my life is worthless without my husband Steve, I miss him so much don’t know how to carry on without him
we would have been married 52yrs this month all our plans gone
Never felt so lonely,devastated,heartbroken

Christine x

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Wow you have written exactly how I’m feeling. Been poorly with a chest infection so been worse than ever this week feeling alone. It’s so hard to find things to do to fill the days and these dark winter months don’t help. Let’s hope spring brings us a little bit of hope xx

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Hope you feel better soon . Its awful on your own when you feel poorly xxx

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Aww hope you feel better soon,everything feels worse without our loved ones to support us

Christine x

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This such a difficult time for all of us,the new year and all.We are all still suffering so much pain and grief.It is so hard to see a way forward.This horrible weather does not help,not that I go out much anyway.Prefer to stay in away from people at the moment. Love to you all Michael x

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We all struggling can not see that life will ever be worth living I lived our life so much and it was not his time nhs let him down hard to live with x

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Agree 100% . Today is really bad for me so far , i really can’t take anymore of this misery .
Love Angie xx

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I guess some how we have to find a way but I miss him so very much only people on here understand no one I can talk to really they think I should get on with it harsh I feel hope he knows how much I want to be with him had never thought about being with out him xx

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NHS let my wife Judith down as well,her cancer treatment was delayed until she was stage 4 outrageous. A 6 hour operation,then chemo for weeks on end,then another operation,nevertheless she passed away .Thanks NHS. Michael x

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Day after day we just go through the motions,pretending we are alive when we are dead inside.I just cannot handle this being alone most of the time.Every morning reality hits me as I see an empty space where Judith should be.Nearly 15 weeks now and I am a complete mess.I dont give a damn about my life anymore,food does not matter to me now,sleep is still a luxury.We are destined to this miserable life until we are called. Michael x

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I so sorry your wife was let down by nhs also it makes it worse will always be thinking that they could be with us if they had been treated right just horrific hate it x

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It is awful on your own anytime now.So sorry that your poorly.Weekends are grim.If we have friends they have their own families at weekends.I am so unhappy and so lonely now,what is it all about .Just had enough and want the end to come please. Michael x

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Yes I am gutted that she was not treated earlier.She might still be with me but the cancer was allowed to grow and eat her away and I had to watch her fade away week by week and now I have nightmares about her last few weeks and days.Save the NHS I thought the NHS was there to save us. Michael x

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We should be able to go with out partners not have to live with out them x

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I too think Jim would be here had he had the proper treatment. But it’s not easy proving it but I will never forgive my local hospital . Not only did my husband die so did I that day in August how are we supposed to carry on without our loved ones its meaningless

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Yes we do have to find a way , so difficult though . The loneliness is the worst part . Take care.
Love Angie xx

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Mickley Boy 31
I too feel let down by the NHS. My husband spent 5 weeks in a ward that did not seem capable of dealing with his pancreatic cancer. I could not get anyone to give me a straight answer to anything I asked. It was dirty with tablets left under the bed and pads left under his pillow. His food was left overnight and then he was brought the same food again. He developed sepsis ( I was not informed) and then I was told brutally that he was dying and would not be resuscitated. His surgeon had gone on holiday and so had the pancreatic nurse. I felt useless to help him. I wish we had never agreed to chemo, never agreed to surgery. He looked fit and healthy before they started his ‘treatment.’ I will never forgive how he was treated during the last few weeks of his life. I so wish he had been at home with me. Like you say 'Thank you" NHS. Sometimes I think they use patients as guinea pigs.

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I felt cross with the dietitian because three weeks before my husband died she told him he needed to get fit for chemo treatment so he dragged himself out of bed to walk around the block and tried lifting arm weights determined to do what she asked, if she had thought to ask the nurse or consultant there was never any intention he could have chemo as he was too weak and was dying, such a simple statement but such terrible implications especially for us his family watching him, he was devastated eight days before he died when the consultant eventually got the courage to tell him he had only weeks to live and tragically he only lived for eight days, it’s something I won’t ever forget !!

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