@Jacko25 Very well put Jacky, hence the feeling of being stuck were ever you turn. The only slight relief I find is in a sunny day… I just need to get out of bed!
1 Like
Gentle5, North Norfolk was one of our favourites too. We have been there on holidays for the last few years, we took our grandchildren the last 4 years.
I too wonder about going again, but don’t drive so wouldn’t be able to get to all the places we loved.
My grandson has asked will we be able to go on holiday to Norfolk, even that brings sad memories. Geoff was the one who went swimming and crabbing with them while I read a book.
Can’t even begin to think about how I would get there or coping on my own with the grandchildren.
Love and hugs 
Jacky
Merrin, I love the sun too, Geoff always sat in the shade even on the garden.
People keep telling me I’ll feel better if I go back to work. They don’t get it nothing makes you feel better, it just takes your mind off it for a while.
Did anyone watch Loose Women today, they were talking about being on your own after losing a partner. One of the presenters said she would not want to meet anyone else, but she was lucky to have lots of good friends who she would spend her time with.
I wanted to shout at her that it doesn’t matter how many friends you have or how close you are to family that nothing can fill the gaping hole that is left. Not her fault thinking like that, maybe many of us thought the same. So yes we are stuck just coping a day, hour or even minutes at a time.
Love and hugs Jacky
5 Likes
I got out of bed! Now sitting in front garden feeling…meh.
The thing is w work and the like, only you know when you feel ready, luckily I don’t have that dilemma.
I am finding peace in splendid isolation. I don’t even know what I have thought about all day. The kids are back from school and managed to jolt me out of it. 🤷🏻
2 Likes
I thought that too when she said that on Loose Women, unless you’ve experienced the loss of your soulmate you can’t possibly understand what it feels like. I was walking my dog yesterday and a couple were walking behind us and the man was the same build as my husband and my dog suddenly stopped and looked round and the way she reacted I think she thought it was him and it broke my heart. 
4 Likes
A car the exact same model as ours drove past me a couple of weeks ago and the driver looked exactly like Geoff, I actually gasped out loud and said his name. Just for a split second I thought he had come to meet me. My mind playing tricks on me. When I got home I just sat and sobbed. Xxx love and hugs Jacky
3 Likes
We just long to see them, hug them,have that closeness again.
Felt like that. Like living through a nightmare and you can’t wake up. Also this feeling he never ever lived here which is really weird. Living a day at a time as terrified of the future, what us going to happen to me where am I going to end up. All I can say is nothing is right or in the way you feel, do the best you can take a day at a time. Starting a bereavement group run by the local funeral director next week, see if there is anything around you, good luck xx
2 Likes
Thank you for the idea Dee, I plan to go to the funeral director to pick up his ashes in coming weeks so I will ask them then if they know of something.
I wish you some hours of peace from horror this evening, take care and let us know how your group goes xx
Yes it is a dilemma. When the weather is good again I’m going to visit one of our favourite places. I know I will cry but I really feel for me it’s the right thing to do. Anyway I will see what happens and then go from there. Xx
On a lighter note I decided to use the Karcher today to clean the decking. I have used it before but never connected it all up. (Geoff did that) well after sitting on the floor for an hour and a half and swearing a bit a song came on the radio by one of mine and Geoffs favourite singers. It was called ‘I think I’m in trouble’
So then the tears started to fall, but then I started to laugh, so was a mix of sobbing and laughing a very strange mix. If ever I’ve had a sign that was one. Geoff laughing at me trying to sort the bloody thing out. 5 minutes later it was connected and up and running. Thanks Geoff xxxxx
Love and hugs Jacky
6 Likes