After losing the man who was my soulmate, i have such doubt that true love is ever possible again. We were as one in heart, mind and soul.
Has anyone here been able to be that close again to anyone?
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my answer may be too vague but I helped my ex-boyfriend bury his best friend yesterday.
and then I saw in one of their other friends the potential to date. I had grown. into a more mature person wanting a mature relationship past what I got from the ex.
we are evolving all of the time. in time, there may be another partner meeting your future needs.
Hi Rachel
i dont think you can
i could never see myself ever having that kind of love again
some may move on and come close perhaps
pat
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For me personally no. My Rob was my rock, soul mate, best friend and love. We were together 24/7 and part of each other. I don’t want anyone else. The pain of my grief is so intense as our love was so deep.
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I can’t imagine anyone else for me, I was so lucky with such a special woman choosing me for her partner in the first place. I have many justified regrets and wish I could put them right but obviously that will never be
possible.
I find myself still trying to drill down on the reality of what has happened as the past with my wife seems like I’m seeing some sort of home video that we both were in along with friends etc. Did it all really happen? Of course, but now it’s resigned to the past which none of us can reach other than in our memories.
It’s arrival at the absolute comprehension that she truly is gone forever - such an enormous fact to take on board. Still not there after exactly two years. Just unbelievable…
At 58 I may have many years ahead but who knows. All I do know is that they will be barren, cold and so empty after such a rich life with my precious Louisa.
True love is such a wonderful gift and in my case I think I’ve realised it too late and should have grasped this during my wife’s living years. What a fool and a travesty.
I wish peace, love and any consolation possible to all of you can glean in this unexpected and arduous part of our lives.
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@Rachel50 hi Rachel I know some people do find love again and many don’t. For me personally no . Pauline is my soulmate, the love of my life and my true love. She holds my heart and soul and always will. I was blessed to have been loved by her. As were we all who found our soulmates and had the privilege and the pleasure to love and be loved by them. I’m 55 so I know I could potentially have years ahead. However many years I have they will be spent loving my darling soulmate and waiting to be reunited with her. For those who might want to find love again I wish them well and hope they find happiness again. Love and hugs to all on this painfull journey x
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Hi @Rachel50
For me it’s a no, when I read the comments on this post I read @Lonely comment, which is me. My husband was 66 and I’m 50. We’d been together for 11 years, known each other for most of our lives and married nearly 3, when he passed. I loved him with every ounce if my heart and soul and he did me. I struggle with my grief everyday as it’s only been 14 weeks and 2 days. I miss everything about him, he went suddenly and unexpectedly within 24 hours to sepsis. My whole world was shattered and I know that’s never ever going to change vi can’t even allow myself to think if the years ahead if me without him. I can’t ever ever imagine being in a place where I’d want someone else,band I’m good with that, for me I would just be constantly comparing and there is no way anyone could give me what my husband did.
However, I don’t think there is anything wrong with looking ahead for yourself, there should be no guilt attached, no what would they think, no what will others think. You have to do what is right for you.
Good luck with whichever pathway you choose, just be kind to yourself x
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fully agree and it would be the comparing for me after being together for 56 years married for nearly 54 no one could even come close to my husband
i would rather live the lonley life than with some i would always be thinking patrick never done that or patrick use to do this and dont think i could give anyone else the love i gave him anyway our love was too deep thats why we lasted together so long
i think id scare everyone away with how i would judge them against patrick
pat
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Rachel50 you can love someone on so many different levels for example we love our parents , we love our children
We love our grandchildren
We love our partner
These are all different levels of love and for very different reasons . There’s is no right or wrong to loving someone again and it doesn’t mean you have forgotten you partner . I have been alone now for 18 months and have no intentions of having another man in my life however never say never I do miss the companionship .
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I’ve tried, but I do not think I can find again what was the best. The trouble with any new man is, he is not HIM. I cannot bear feeling further and further away from my darling as time marches on. He and I used to be unhappy at any separation. Now I don’t know where he is, I will not accept that he is gone. He was so alive, such a strong personality. How can he not exist any more? No. It cannot be. I will find him one day.
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Be careful, don’t do what I did. Choosing someone through pure loneliness, because it’s better than being alone.
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It’s true. Comparing is inevitable. It bodes ill for new relationships.
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Sorry for the blunt reply,The answer is NO.
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Casey 1
Perfectly Said.
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I agree. I used to hear about people unable to establish a lasting relationship several years after loss. Then I found out for myself how hard it is to give your heart again. Loneliness can mean false hopes and downright mistakes. We are so vulnerable.
I’ll Leave It There
I personally think it’s easy to say no it’s not possible, especially if you’re still in pain with grief the last thing you can or even want to imagine is finding love again.
None of us wake up in the morning and say hey this is the day I find love and out the door into the world looking, it’s just one of them things that happen either over time or in a instance you meet someone… Every single person in this forum before meeting that special person in there life must have questioned if they would ever find love…so if we can find it once why not again.
26yrs I was with my wife and loved her more then life itself, and you tell yourself it’ll never happen again, that your destined for a life of loneliness, you could never date another person because you wish to remain loyal to your partners memories… That’s all great and all but humans just aren’t built that way we want human interaction we want to feel love and that special bond between two people… I found an amazing woman on this forum and after a while of chatting we finally met up and since then she has blown me away I couldn’t picture life without her in it… Does that mean I didn’t love my wife, of course not.
She’s not a replacement, upgrade or downgrade… The man that loved his wife for 26yrs died the day she did… I’m just someone different trying to rebuild a life and I found a woman who I can be in love with and be happy.
So to your question Rachel I say Yes… But ofc not everyone will agree…
I’d hate to think I’m the only one here to find love again, I really hope there are many more out there smiling when they wake up x
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glad you were able to meet someone again and be happy they always say you never know whats waiting round the corner
i have known people to meet someone else and be happy i have also known people thats tryed to move on and get hurt its all part of life and no one should judge
hope you have a long happy relationship good luck to you both
pat
You’re right… None of us know what’s in store for us, some luckier then others… You’re right no-one should judge others decisions, life is a gift we should all do our upmost best to live it the best we can.
And thankyou… You take care of yourself Pat
one more insight: it will be only once if your mind is closed to it.
if you decide you want that, you have to say yes to yourself.
if you say no to yourself, that is your answer.