My wife passed away this Christmas gone and it was awful. I’m ex police and seen many versions of death, but nothing compares to close partner.
My wife was wonderful and through 43yrs we always spoke of new love. I always said I couldn’t, I was too scared in the 1st place, now I seem to have someone interested in myself… that remains to be seen as she’s 2yrs older than my eldest daughter! I didn’t look, far from it and I don’t know the future of someone so young.
I do believe that it is possible to find love again, comparing to one’s loss isn’t a good thing because no one can replace a true love… but that person can make one love life for whatever time one has.
My problem is my eldest has said no way in the house where mum was! I want happiness all round, my life is whatever it is… I will forever miss my wife, but grabbing 2nd time after loss isn’t like a divorce, one didn’t get on with the partner, so move on and enjoy life as one wishes.
My lovely wife will be supporting me with her parents, that am sure of.
yes it makes sense my husband was always a believer in you have to make the most of your life you never know whats around the corner and you only have one chance at it so do as much as you can while you can
Hi Devonguy
i feel the same i had my husband withme for 56years married 54we had a wonderful life of travelling doing everything together i feel it would be too hard to let someone else into my life no one else could ever be like he was
I think it’s possible to love more than one person but I also think it’s impossible to love another person in the same way again.
I loved, and love, every fibre of my husbands being, no one could ever replace him but after five years of utter loneliness and despair I am open to the possibility of having a companion.
These are just my thoughts and I fully respect that others may not share my views, everyone is different.
HI Daisyrose
i do agree that you can love more than one person but in a different way the love for your husband/wife that has died will alwys be the deepest but if you do ever get the chance to love agin or just have a companion it will always be a different kind of love
as you say no one can ever replace them because they were special
for me i am 71 and was with my husband since i was 15 so i would find it hard i think to adjust to someone else now
i hope you do find a love and happiness again because its all part of life and every one is different with how they feel and we should never judge anyone for how they want to move on no one knows what life has in store for us down the line we can never say never
i have known people that have moved on with other partners some have remarried some just live together and been very happy others havent
Hi Looby18,
Thank you for your kind and understanding thoughts.
Like you I met my lovely husband when I was very young, we married when I was just 16 and I never regretted it, not once. We had 55 years together and I will always be grateful for that…but it wasn’t long enough. He was always fit and healthy where I had various ailments over the years and I never thought he would die before me, it was a terrible shock that I am still surprised that I lived through.
Even after all this I am so lonely that I would be open to having a friend or companion just to spend some time with. Loneliness is just so awful and it’s this that makes me feel I can care for someone again.
My hope is that no one ever feels lonely and lost as I have done these past five years. I know it must seem impossible for some to get to this point but it’s got to be better than utter loneliness, hasn’t it?
Daisyrose x
Thank you for your post Paul. Like you it is getting on for two years ago that I lost my wife. If it is any comfort to you I have similar regrets about things I wish I could put right realising, too late, that I should have done and said more, when I could. Reading other peoples’ posts it is becoming clear to me that such regrets are fairly common. We can only take comfort in accepting that we did our best, even if, in retrospect, it fell short of the ideal. Best wishes to you.
I’d be amazed if any of us didn’t have a single regret.
If there ever was such a thing as a positive note after losing someone you truly loved it would be to learn from your regrets… Pay more attention to the people who matter to you, don’t leave things unsaid, always be open and honest… And although we fell short at times, we’re of course only human and will always make mistakes and have regrets.
You look after yourself John
Thank you for sharing your experience John and the supportive words. It does help when one feels so bad about something you can never put right. Remorse is so terrible…
Best wishes, Paul
Hi Daisyrose
yes i can understand you and yes anything is better than the loneliness that we go through
i have a greyhound who is my best friend but i do have a great daughter who speaks to me daily and a friend i meet once a week with her 2 greyhound and go for a walk also people from the greyhound trust pick me up twice a month for the dog walks as i dont drive i go down town once a week with my dog as everywhere is dog friendly and i visit my husbands grave every other week as its an hour and half round trip on foot but it is a lovely walk
i also have an online shop who i make teacosys for so all in all i am busy
but do miss some one to look after as i was my husbands carer for about 20 years
wish you all the luck for moving on
we are all human and no one is perfect we have all said thing we regret its a part of life and being together for a long time
i often think did i do enough for my husband could i have done more something i should have said or even something i shouldn’t have said and i think if they could speak to us i think they would say the same
we all probably did our best and did what we know we had to do but the most important thing is we were always there for them when they needed us most
that is the only problem that there are people who prey on the vunerable and thats what we all after losing a husband/wife
there are some cruel people who know you lonely and looking for someone to talk to or be a comanion but you also have to be careful while your grieving you can be easily taken in by these people
Hi I’m 59 it’s only six months since hubby died but I can’t see a future without him. I don’t want another partner .chris was my life and still is. I know if it’s true he will be waiting for me with his arms open to live for eternity with him . I am just living for that day . Take care x
No matter what sadly, a second relationship will always be in a comparison to the first.
I think it just depends on how the person wants to move in life, if at all… I’ve been spoilt in my first relationship and very scared of making a fool of myself