@tykey what an inspiring post. I lost my soulmate in July last year. I have moved forward, I’ve made changes, and I’m very good at putting on a front in front of other people but inside I am struggling. Reading your comments have made me realise that I can get through this and I am on the right path to succeed
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Hi @Annde . It might seem like a long time since your journey started, but it’s not, I’m not sure if it ever ends, but it certainly gets easier. Just think back to the first absolutely horrible first few weeks and months, and realise how things have already changed for the better.
I remember the day that I walked out of the hospital having said my last goodbye. I was shaking, panicking, distraught, thinking “what the hell do I do now??!!??”.
I couldn’t imagine how my life could go forward without her. Yet 2 years on, my life has rebuilt itself, I never forget her (I’ve a tear in my eye as I write this), but my life is worth living again.
It’s a lovely sunny day, I’ve been to a choir rehearsal, had a flute lesson, and now sat outside my local having a nice pint of cold cider!
I’m sure you will be ok, now you see the way forward, never give up, even when you have a bad day (I still have them)
If I lived in Exeter, which I wish I did, you would never see me, I’d be up walking on Dartmoor every day😊
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It is very helpful to read of someone who has struggled with bereavement seeing a light at the end of the tunnel.
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Hi @tykey
I love your positivity 
, it always makes me smile.
I had a thought about what you said a few days ago, about the bees 
& your camera, I think the blog sounds really great 
. Maybe set up your camera at the window, that way they’ll get used to it “beeing” there, & it will be in place ready to just take pictures or record as you want, & if you watch regularly, & are aware what time of day they’re there most often, hope this helps.
Thanks @Blake, strange that you suggest that, because just at the back of my house is a small zoo, strictly a tropical butterfly house. Lots of old folks go in there to just sit on cold days, taking pictures of the insects. I’ve bought a season ticket, but haven’t gone yet. I’m not sure how many native bees are in there, but at least I can learn how my new camera works. Of course, being a man, I won’t read the manual, mainly because it’s 160 pages,!
@Pandaprincess , Thank you for your thoughts, they do have a habit of running away when I approach. I saw a TV program a few weeks ago about this, and the presenter had a camera costing many thousands of pounds, so he didn’t have to get as close as I do. But “making do” is part of the challenge. My brother, who isn’t interested in it as a challenge, keeps taking pictures of bees in his garden using his phone camera and delights in sending them to me 
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Oh @tykey that did make me laugh. 
Thank you for a happy thing. I can remember my husband so often saying something simlar.
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What an encouraging piece. Thank you so much. It is almost a year since I lost my darling husband. I am finding it all overwhelming but trying to stay positive for my children, both married with families. You have given me hope and a mantra to help myself. I wish you happiness once again in all you achieve. Lynne
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Hi @Babes1 , I’m absolutely delighted if I’ve managed to help you recover a bit. Of course I’ve no idea how you are restricted by your arthritis. But if you aren’t already doing so, have you thought about learning a musical instrument? I love setting other people challenges, which might allow them to get out and play with other people. That’s why I’m learning the flute, but I’ll never be James Galway. I just hope to be able to sit under a tree on the banks of a river, glass of wine handy, and play some gentle ambient music. If you are restricted somewhat, buy a ukulele and join a local group.
I’ve decided that on every one of my wife’s birthdays, I’m going to (try) to learn another instrument. In a moments daftness, I’m considering a didgeridoo for next year:grin:
Good luck, you’ll be ok
PS or join a local amateur choir, maybe 
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Sorry, @Babes1 , I got mixed up with who I was answering, re the arthritis, but the challenge of doing something new still stands🥺
No I do have Osteoarthritis and awaiting a new knee so going out is such a trial. I had thought of a choir as my friend directs one for the church. I was a professional singer for many years and not sure how I would fit into an amateur choir. But will think seriously. Good luck with all your instruments. You will be a one man band!
Hi, @tykey
You make me smile , I love your didgeridoo idea, 
it sounds fun, let us know how well you get on. I can’t wait to hear what new challenges you’re doing next.
To @Babes1
My mom used to be into herbal remedies, & used to do reiki, for arthritis, she used to make her own tumeric oil, you just rub it in, I can totally recommend it.
It’s good your getting on with your life I’m sure she would understand and wouldn’t want you to be on your own
@babes1, Funny you say I might be a one man band! I’ve already invented my name
I’ll be called The Rootin’ Tootin’ Fluter!.
You’ll never know if you will fit that amateur choir, unless you go, and have some fun:smile:
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Like the name very much. Quite fun
28th May I am going to listen to the concert the choir are performing. I might just be joining yet.
Sun is shining today and I am feeling calmer.
21st is the first anniversary of my husband’s death so this month is a bit hit and miss. But on that evening my son is taking me to my grandson’s Cup Final football match. He is playing for Grandad so we will be cheering and weeping at the same time.
It’s great to do something special in memory of them on anniversaries.
Tomorrow would have been our 52nd anniversary, so I’m off for a few days to where we very often went for holidays, Anglesey. I’ll visit all the beaches and restaurants we loved, and let the dogs go berserk. I talk to her a lot!
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I lost my husband last finding this year very especially when it be special birthdays and stuff miss him so much
Oh thank goodness someone else who talks to our beloveds. I chat all the time to his ashes and photi. He is always with me. After 63 years how could he be anything else!
I hope you have a wonderful time in Anglesey. Enjoy every moment for her.
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Thanks @babes1. In common with most on here, when they leave us there are so many things we wish we’d said, some issues we wish we’d resolved before it was too late, some things we wish we’d forgiven them for (which in the cold light of day were so meaningless) etc etc. I’ve resolved everything like this during our chats, so I no longer beat myself up because of my failings, and forgiven her totally for her failings.
I’m happy we were both human!!
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Hi,
I talk to, & sometimes write to the people that have passed, it does help to resolve past issues. Sending hugs.
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I talk to my husband every day, sometimes I tell him off for leaving me. I write to him every night, I tell him about my day, and tell him how much I miss him, he’s probably getting fed up with that now. Sometimes I can’t stop crying while I’m writing but I’ve noticed lately I’ve not been so bad. Maybe I’m turning a corner. Maybe I’ll crumble tomorrow, who knows, this grief journey is like a yo yo, up and down, up and down
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