Big hugs Jules
I know how you feel I just long for a big from my amazing loving husband
Marie x
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I’m the same if I’m honest, I’m wandering from room to room, I know there’s things to do but at the minute I can’t apply myself. X
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Hi Dawn it’s 2 years since my lovely partner of 36 years passed away 
. Like you I still want to talk about him but other people just kinda look vacant and don’t really respond. I to feel the terrible headache and sadness 
every day like you. I feel that the talking would somehow help the healing I just long for my partner every single day it really hurts. I truly understand what you’re going through. Take care
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If my wife was alive she would have done a lot of good to others. She was such a smart woman with a kind heart. So many wicked people in this world messing around. It’s just not fair.
My grief is different from my 15 yo daughter’s grief. Although she was close to my wife but she seems to do better than me. She even went to amusement park not long after my wife’s passing with friends. I am not blaming anyone. She was really sad but it’s just different. I come to realized that it’s only me who lost a soulmate, a best friend for 32 years. No one is going to feel what I feel. My daughter will meet someone, set up a family and have children. I’m sure she’ll find her soulmate. That’s not going to happen for me and I doubt if I would be happy again.
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what a coincidence. There was a local pop song here in Hong Kong I heard when I was a kid; the lyric said the same it goes like,’ things change often and change is eternity,’ How true it is. Nothing last, however deep we love our soulmates, we got to say goodbye sooner or later.
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I am bitter and carnt helping blaming because my husband got covid really first 10 days was ok not even temperture then suddenly i got phone call saying he was on oxygen then 24 hrs later were withdrawing treatment so what makes them decide who they try to save and who they dont he never got anything but oxygen wasnt moved to intensive care or anything so yes i am bitter because it cought it from hospital as before he went in he had only been out of hospital 5 days from a previous stay and he had not been out of house. I try not to feel bitter but i carnt help it and its eating me up
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Hi
As I speak now I’m just wondering around in a daze
When my husband was with me we would have our routine not now
It got to 6pm yesterday I realised I hadn’t eaten
I didn’t eat anything I just coudnt be bothered i have no purpose
Marie x
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You are so right about your grief the relationship you had with your wife was your world you gave yourself to her and she to you. No one else can understand the pain of looseing that special bond and closeness you both shared. I have found that young people try to deal with their grief the way you described your daughter has been doing.
I on the other hand have no children only one nephew who is 32 and lost his Mother in 2012 he went out all the time for a while with his friends his way of coping. I so miss my partner of 36 years who was my world and love of my life 
I don’t think I will ever love again.
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One day we will hear and see these things and smile with the memory because of them instead of it being so painful. I know this, my grief is new (although I did a lot of anticipatory grieving) and I’m looking forward to the time when I don’t feel cut in two. It will come for us all at different times as we are all individuals, no set time or space. Hang onto that, we are so very lucky to have loved and been loved by our spouses x
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Dotty, you have to eat or you’ll make yourself ill. I’m trying to pull myself up because I’ve realised I’m not eating regularly. Eating isn’t a pleasure anymore it’s a function for me. I joined my SlimmingWorld class again, not because I need to lose that much weight now, more that I’d forgotten what / how to eat. I changed my diet when my husband had a stoma and there were things he couldn’t eat anymore, so neither did I. I’ve only thought today that I need to do a bit of batch cooking, make myself ready meals to pop in the freezer. Do I feel like doing that? Nope. But he wanted me to take care of myself. Please give making something for yourself so you always have something on hand. X
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Hi nurse 1
You right you do get use to not making stuff for yourself
I was always cooking and baking for my husband he loved hes food before he got stomach cancer
After he’s chemotherapy that was it he couldn’t keep anything done it was awful to watch
They eventually had to put him on a soft diet
To be quite honest I felt guilty eating when he coudnt
Like your husband he use to go mad if I didn’t eat
My freezer was full of the stuff Ian liked I have give it all to the kids
I should really batch cook like you say
I basically live on yoghurt
I have lost 2 stone since January
Which is too quick really
Thankyou for advice
Marie x
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Hi Marie, I’ve lost 2 stone too! Mind you I needed to and like you, I gave a lot of stuff to the kids. As I said, eating is no longer an enjoyable thing, it’s not the same eating alone is it? I’ve bought a slow cooker, used it once! It will come in handy for making stews in the autumn when it will do me two meals. So! Let’s both try to make an effort for your Ian and my George and do our best. That’s all we can ask of ourselves x
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Hi
Thats a great idea let’s make the effort for our loving husband’s
Slow cookers are amazing I love mine
The problem I have is when it’s warm weather I just don’t know what to eat
Will definitely put my mind to it
I have just bought a bike maybe going out for a bike ride will give me an appetite
Thankyou
Marie x
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That’s more like it! I’ve been cooking some breasts of chicken and freezing some or gammon. Both easy with salad or warm veg or those steamed rice with veg in. Minimum effort and almost a healthy ready meal. I cook two portions of new potatoes and leave some cold in the fridge to do a quick frittata with. I’m trying to think ahead a bit, so on my down days, I’ve got a meal that I don’t really have to think much about. Good luck and enjoy that bike ride! Xx
My wife miraculously recovered from sepsis(1wk in intensive care) 2 months before she passed. They changed her hypertension med and her BP was a bit on the high side on discharge. I thought they’ll fix it in her follow up and didn’t pay attention. Never imagine high bp bursted her big artery and killed her suddenly. Perhaps if I had it treated earlier she’d still be with me. Perhaps it’s me who is to blamed I reckoned. It consumes me. I understand this ambivalence. But nothing is going to bring her back.
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yeah perhaps their way of getting rid of pain is to have fun. I didn’t say anything as if there is any way which can relive her sorrow that’s good enough for me.
Hi
That sounds lovely!!!
Thankyou for the ideas
Went for bike ride the bike will take some getting use to its one of them ladies old fashioned types looks lovely
Marie x
I keep thinking that I should have noticed more / done more. My husband mentioned some things - and to the doctor as well but it was all put down to asthma. Until the report comes out I won’t know for sure but I so wish I had been extra cautious and done something. Unfortunately, I know all the wishing in the world won’t bring him back now. How do we live with these thoughts?
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I am trying to suppress these thoughts. We are just human. There are so many dangerous illnesses that have no signs at all. Let alone those taken away by accidents. Thing is we are just mortals. One way or the other we shall vanish from this world.
However I find it difficult to control these thoughts. Now and than it’s gonna pop up and then I have this heartache again.
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It’s been 2 years since my partner passed away and I still cry almost every day and feel I can’t go on without him . I often feel I don’t want to be here anymore like this can’t find a way to put my life back together. I feel that other people who haven’t been through this don’t understand the gravity of the situation when you loose the love of your life you too loose your own life. Good to chat with like minded people.
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