my husband survived sepsis several times last year just for him to die of covid this year he got it so mild not even temperature i got it really severe and survived once he detoriated and we was told they were withdrawing treatment and he was dead within 24 hrs.
I was angry because just as we thought we were so lucky to be reunited again she slipped away in my arms. She was helped by some kind-hearted staff in hospital and she asked me to join her to serve those in need by voluntary work. We were doing just that when she passed. I felt I was betrayed. Well perhaps no. This world just operate in a random way and anyone can be taken anytime…
It doesn’t really matter how I think. Nothing’s gonna change our fate.
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It feels less alone. But everyday its just hard to wake up knowing that you’re no longer loved by and you can’t love your soulmate anymore.
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yes i agree my husband only died this febuary and i feel you have no one to talk to and people start to contact you less often and when they ask how you are if your like me you always say your ok your not going say how you really feel. i feel like saying im getting eaten up inside with guilt for surviving and wish i hadnt hadnt we had been married fo 43 years and together 45 i didnt know anything else im not going to lie we had good and bad times anyone that said it was always perfect i wouldnt believe them and we had been through alot over last year because of his health so then i feel guilty for that so i try to hang on to the good memories which there his a lot especially are luxory trip to venice for our 40th wedding anniversay
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Yes your right that feeling alone and no one to love you . I feel the same way even after 2 years 
miss how good my partner made me feel. We just have to hang on in there.
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Hi,
I am sorry for your loss and I have read that people want to be supportive but grief is something that nobody wants to deal with and don’t know what to say and it is an awkward situation. I have had people say to me that God needed another angel and she isn’t suffering and she is in a better place since my wife died suddenly in March. Nothing will sound right when said at the wrong time and right now is the wrong time. I know that even after 103 days nothing sounds right when they say it.
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Hi, please don’t blame yourself. How were you to know? I’m an experienced nurse and never picked up on my husbands Bowel cancer. No red flags at all. You thought everything was in hand. I did what you’re doing when my husband was still alive and his words to me were ‘there was nothing to see Viv’. The doctors didn’t see it either, so how could you? I have beaten myself up mentally and I’ve been through the ‘I maybe missed something? Could I have done more? If I had, he would still be with me now’. It’s unnecessarily painful and it’s not helping us to take a tiny step forward in our lives now. It’s very early days and you’re right, nothing will bring them back, I wish with all my heart I could have him back with me. So please, please stop doing this to yourself. I’m not particularly religious but I do believe that when it’s our time, the choice is out of our hands. I’m hoping that we all find some peace bit by but as we go through this journey alone now.
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I too keep going over - why didn’t I do something. My husband had COVID (which I gave him, so more blaming myself there) 5 months before and had lost his fitness. He was gradually trying to improve his fitness again and died whilst running. I keep thinking that I should have stopped him going but then my sister asked if I was going to stop him every time he wanted to exercise. He got breathless more easily but then he hadn’t been doing as much exercise - I was the same. I keep thinking that if I’d made a slightly different decision in one way or another he could still be here and that is torture.
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We can’t control everything Jules. We would have made invalids out of our men and that’s not what they would have wanted. It was his quality of life too. As for Covid, you can’t say for certain that you ‘gave’ it to him. You wouldn’t have done that for the world. It’s a killer virus and it looks for any host., anywhere, anytime. I do understand how you feel though. Sending hugs to you x
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Nurse1: thank you. I understand going it over and over again just makes things worse. But sometimes you just can’t help…
Jules4: my wife was recovering well from sepsis ; initially she can just walk on level ground for 10 min. Right before she passed she could walk for 2 hours; I thought god was merciful and we would have some peaceful days together and proceed with our retirement plan. So we went to Taiwan in Jan for our documents ; everything uneventful; every morning we did exercise in the hotel room(quarantined for 24 days) for 30 min together. Just as I thought things will be OK she’s gone. It’s like the higher being played a joke on me.
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my husband survived sepsis several times last year and january this year each time leaving him finding it more difficult to walk just for him to die from covid in febuary getting it so mild he did not even have temperature but then after 10 days it attacked his lungs they withdrew treatment which he was only on for 24 hours and he was dead within 48 hours which he cought covid from hospital as hed only been out 5 days from getting discharched before re admitted for what they thought was infection because he couldnt walk and covid only got picked up on from routine testing because he had no symptoms
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Hi, it all seems so unfair and unreal, I know. Sometimes you just can’t find the words can you? I hope we all eventually find some acceptance and peace. Sending love and strength to all to get us through this x
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going through all those days when our love ones get in and out of hospital is heartbreaking but it just keeps propping up.
It always seems something could have been done to prevent the catastrophy. I wish I could turn back the clock. But nay. That’s fate and there’s nothing we can do to bring them back.
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This is very true. Our daughter is 29, she is grieving for her father. But its very different loss amd grief for the husband or wife left behind. The emotional entwined relationship is very different for a partner. The loss is a different active void. The layers go on and on.
Where as it never leaves my mind. I am trying to survive in the emptimess emotinally and physically, in every dimension.
I know my daughter has to keep focusing on her children, who are young still, and it absorbs her, which is positive for her, and no way a criticism of her.
But for me its different.
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I fully understand your comments, My loving wife was my whole world, my everything, my best friend, my lover, my soulmate and our son is doing much better than I am because he was not with her like I was for the last 35 years married for 34 years and only apart for maybe 15 days total including the birth of our son. Our son misses his Mother but he has friends and they help him grieve, he has a job that gives him a distraction and he is managing his grief well. I am not because I only lived for my wife, I did everything for her because I LOVE her with all of my broken heart and soul. There is no joy in my life anymore and I will never be happy again either.
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