Nothing can take the pain away u feel. My first 2 yrs where the worse. & now I’m having 2 sell my flat. This site was a god sent.
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I am selling our home i agreed to have cremation instead of burial i did not have support and I still don’t
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That’s so sad, I had Oliver buried as that was his wishes. & it got me through the worse times as I went 2 the cemetery every day for the first year & then, every 2 or 3 days. After.
I still go but not as much.
I had counselling after abt 6.months, it got me me out of the flat. AS I felt I wa going off my head. It does help & u get through yr doctor.
AS I said I’m over the worse but it never goes away. X
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I dident hav support when Oliver died I was on my own the first Xmas he died. But iv since learnt 2 get out more & meet new people.
I don’t hav children, but I got a great neice & she got in touch when she found out Oliver died, & has been a great help 2 me.
& I now know who my real friends r. Think of Yr lovely husband & get through the day with his help. X
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Don’t sell up 2 quickly as u r not thinking straight. Please talk 2 a counciler first. & don’t make any rash desitions.
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I relate to all of you, I think I’m going crazy sometimes
I just cannot, will not, do not accept that my husband is no longer here, still so unreal to me.
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Glad I’m not the only one who thinks and feels like that . I have just been looking at photos . And saying to hubby where are you . You can’t of just gone . I need you . I love you . I wish he could let me know he is out of pain and looking after me . And still loves me the way I love him more and more each day . Almost ten months . I feel he is getting further and further away from me . And I am getting more and more lost . We had such a happy life together . Now this life . I don’t have words to describe it but I know I hate it .xtake care x
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@solost Totally get what you say, totally. It’s just unreal. Is this life real? Or are we all floating in space, and life is just a dream/nightmare? I guess that’s why some people believe in religion - but not me, I have no faith now…
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@Broken2222 Oh shit. I see you are 10 months in, yet everything you say matches totally what I think, but it’s less than 2 months since I lost my fabulous wife Sharon.
Did it get easier from 2 months to 10 months?
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Hi . I am sorry to say it has got harder for me. This is my existence now. I had a happy life . But no more . I live in a house now not a home. The loneliness is horrendous . I find everything pointless. I look for signs from hubby . But then if I think something is a sign the doubt creeps in and I just feel like I’m going crazy . I need my hubby so much every minute of every day . And love him more and more .i still have all his things .his work coat still at back door . Trainers on bedroom floor . Everything the way it was . Just in case … xtake carex
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@DennisS, @Broken2222, I’m sorry to say that I agree with Broken2222, perhaps it’s because it’s summer, I don’t know,I feel worse now, it’s been 20 months for me, too many triggers, mind you I don’t need triggers. He’s always on my mind every single second of each day…
Wishing you and all of us strength.
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Hi
Well I said in my previous post that my husband died six months ago. It shows how muddled my brain is because it is only five monts. Like you Solost, I’ve also said that I constantly think about my husband. How can I not, he was part of my life for fifty years. I think you picked an appropriate name for on here because that’s the way I feel … ‘So lost’ apart from all the other things.
Take care everyone.X
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I’m fairly new to these feelings but I agree each minute I look around it is him I see and these walls don’t make me feel at home anymore more likely I’m just in a hotel room. I don’t get the same taste or smell anymore everything has changed colours faded just grey. I feel very numb.
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Hi so sorry for your loss . Yes at first I felt so numb . And then it hit me . So hard . My life as I knew it gone . The one person that got me . Not here anymore to love and care for me . I miss everything about my hubby and my happy life . I miss his laughter . His love . Hie tenderness. I miss not being special to anyone anymore . I miss kissing him ,just because I could . I just miss him so so much . Please keep posting and reading on this site . It does help . To know there is kind people who know how you feel and all the feelings you have are normal when you are grieving for that one special person .x take carex
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Yes is the answer, it does get easier.
Bit by bit.
Time is a healer is a really crap saying.
There’s no instruction book to read neither is there a magic cure.
If you have been with a partner for so many years - then obviously it will take you time to accept and adjust.
But that’s what we have to do.
G. X
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@Solost @Broken2222 Well I don’t think I can, or want, to cope for that long as this rate of pressure… But something in me is changing - from someone who never cries: as well as almost crying when someone was helpful and really kind to me on Thurs, I sat at a taverna table for one yesterday (known the owner 20 years so he did a Shirley Valentine for me away from everyone and facing out to sea) and I wept… But it wasn’t felling sorry for myself, I STILL can’t make myself process that I’m alone and lost as my brain wont allow me to do so, but wept for Sharon who loved me to the end and didn’t want to leave me. Back to the UK next week, I’m going to need some professional help as I think something is happening, maybe I’m sinking…
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@Grandma I hope you are right, that the intensity eases a bit with time - one thing I’m beginning to understand is that although we are all being tortured the same, each of our pain is manipulated and put on us slightly differently. I guess I’ll just have to continue to grind out one hour after the next and see what happens…
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Hi Solost
It’s been 13 months for me now and like you, Ian is always on my mind. Whatever I do and wherever I am I can picture him and his smile. Sadly I can also picture him lying in his hospital bed and the last breath he took.
I should have said so much more to him at the end but I think I was just in total denial and shock.
It’s only now as the shock is wearing off that I’m feeling such guilt and remorse as he deserved better. I’m also bewildered as we were told a year with chemo and yet he was gone just after seven weeks. How can that be?
My house is not a home anymore and everything is as he left it. A year on and I’m feeling no better than I was, in fact I’m probably feeling worst to be honest.
I would give anything to have him back and our happy life together. ……
Take care,
X Julie
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No it dosent get easier. Just remember the good times. & as hard as it is yr wife wouldent want u sad.
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As u say it’s missing kissing yr husband. I use 2 love a cuddle & Kiss my husband so much. & when he was dying I held his hand & I said u go mate & don’t worry abt me or yr kids u go on yr way. & I’m gald I said that. But I’m 4 & a half later & not over it.
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