Just a few thoughts

When my partner Jo passed away last Oct. three of her nieces bought me a bench for the garden with a inscribed plaque on it with her name and the inscription " forever together enjoying the view" . She loved the countryside and the view from her brothers garden across the fields. I’ve just been sitting there doing just that and thought I might put what I was thinking on here. I don’t know if you need more support when you lose a loved one when you’re older , I’m nearly 70, but I’ve certainly got it from all four of her brothers. Jo’s birthday is at the end of this month, She would have been 66 and was looking forward to getting her pension which like so many women she just missed out on when she was 60 when they changed the rules. Unfortunately she did’nt make it. It made me very sad sitting there . Sorry, forgive these ramblings . Just thought I’d like to write it down.


Dear Peter

You are not rambling. Thank you for sharing. This was a lovely gesture from your partners nieces. I have two nephews who I have always been close to and they are providing more support than my siblings if I am being honest.

My husband had just turned 60 before he died and was looking forward to our retirement and to achieve the plans that we had discussed in the first lockdown. I can understand your comments regarding the pension, not least as I was also affected by the rule changes, but for me certainly I am saddened at the fact that my husband having worked since 16 is not here to reap the rewards of all his hard work. Take care. xxxx

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Your not rambling Peter my children got a bench for garden for the first anniversary of jonn passing he passed November 11th 2020 I was 65when john passed couldn’t get pension till March 2021 I lived on small amount of savings for 5month it’s just not fair so many plans take care annie

Such a lovely gesture with the bench, so thoughtful of your nieces. Lovely for you to sit with the thoughts of your wife. My husband would have turned 66 in December, he would have been getting his pension now, the thought of our loved ones not getting that far to receive their pensions is so sad Peter.

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My wife aged 66 died in December. We don’t have a family of our own mainly due to June’s chronic ill health over the decades which was not attributable to her passing.

June managed 10 pension payments before she passed. I’m waiting for the letter to say she was overpaid. I told them via ‘tell them once’ straight away. I got a very impersonal letter saying I was not entitled to anything from them. They can keep it. So very unfair in all respects.

The bench was a lovely caring idea. Had nothing like that sadly. Take care all. Tony


My wife passed away 5 weeks ago. She was looking forward to retiring in November when our mortgage would have been paid off. She had worked as a nurse all her life. I am due to retire in October 2024. It appears l am entitled to a % of her NHS pension but will get nothing from the Govrenment although she paid national insurance and tax all her 48 years of work.
We had spoke about all the things we would do when we both retired. But these have all now gone up in smoke. Somebody said to me maybe l can do some of these things when l am ready. I nearly said to them would you want to go on a cruise on your own, hire a motor home and go touring on your own. They would not. These things need the companionship of your husband or wife.
Life will just be getting by day by day with nothing much to look forward to in the future.


I do not fully understand how the pension system works but my husband died shortly after receiving his full state pension. I receive over £200 per month of his pension to top my full state pension up. I thought this would work both ways and if the wife passes first then part of her pension would be passed to her husband? especially as one poster said his wife had worked as a nurse. It is so wrong that our wife and husband’s have worked for so many years and are not being acknowledged by the government.


Hello Trev,

My wife was also a career Nurse. June had to retire early because of her Multiple Sclerosis. June in line with all the WASPI women had to wait until she was 66 for her OAP from Government. June managed 10 pension payments before she suddenly and unexpectedly passed in front of me in December last year (7 weeks ago today).

I too had the nil pension award letter from DWP. What a disgrace. Written so callously and tersely. Money will never compensate or ease our pain for the loss of our soul mates. I fully expect the DEP will take money back because of overpayment - something they are practiced doing.
Take care Trev and look after yourself. Tony

I too told DWP straight away that Jo had gone using ‘tell them once’ . With everything else that you have to cope with I didn’t want money going into our account and then suddenly being taken back. She’d been on some form of disability benefit for years. She couldn’t walk and I had stopped work long before to look after her so money was always a problem. When they changed from disability living allowance to the new personal independance payment we had to go to an assessment for her and they decided in their wisdom that she was quite capable of going to work so all her benefits stopped. I should say at this point that it was the osteoarthritis that stopped her walking but she had many other health problems and couldn’t possibly have gone out to work. They also decided that my car could no longer be registered as a disabled vehicle and there was no reason why she couldn’t use the bus. I was beyond annoyed . We appealed and eventually went to a tribunal in a courtroom which was very traumatic for both of us but particularly Jo and they gave it all back to her and backdated what she’d lost. What with everything else she’d endured over the years they felt it necessary to put her through all that, Sorry I didn’t mean to vent quite so much but as I was writing it was all coming back to me. My point about her pension wasn’t so much about not getting the money but more about working and paying NI before she got ill, missing out on retiring when she was 60 but looking forward to retiring and claiming her pension when she reached 66. She got a letter after she passed away asking if she intended to claim her pension. She missed it by 3 months. Thank you all of you that replied. I don’t know about everyone else but It definitely helps me writing some of this stuff down knowing that other people will read it.


Hello Peter

We went through the PIP assessment too. It was an ordeal for June (a qualified SRN of 34 years experience). June was seen by a former nurse working for the Government appointed company who decided June was capable of doing one of the set tasks and reduced her payment. The mandatory reconsideration went nowhere. June had a signed letter from her Neurologist an eminent Professor to say she had clinically proven Multiple Sclerosis and was not fit to do any kind of work.
Complete disgrace and hugely stressful. June paid her taxes all her working life from 16 years of age and they treated her disgracefully. Well done for fighting the injustice Peter you could do no more.

It’s not fair peter john passed November 11th on a Wednesday phoned on Monday women said why did I not phone early so unsympathetic so they cancelled state pension for 3monthly only had carers allowance his oncologist did it for him got a letter 2weeks after he had passed wanting his 1week carers allowance as he passed on the Wednesday and it was paid in on the Monday so paid it back they don’t understand what we’re going through take care annie


Hi Shiney999 Although hugely stressful we were capable of fighting their original decision but I remember thinking at the time . I wonder how many people, perhaps with nobody to support them, just accepted the decision the Government must have saved a lot of money. Although having said that according to Citizens Advice who we went to at the time their opinion was that any money the Government saved was far outweighed by the cost of all these assessments and tribunals . This was a couple of years ago but Citizens Advice told us according to their research the vast majority of people that took it further got their claims reinstated . I don’t know if this is still going on but my advice would be, if you can , fight it.

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Dear Angiejo2 and Trev58

My husband had just turned 60 when he died but I was advised to write to DWP about his state pension. I think there has been so many rule changes - sorry to say it appears to ensure that those of us who have worked since 16/17 benefit nothing - that I have been told that I will receive £13.95 per week alongside my own pension. Also being a WASPI I have to wait another four years for either to happen. But my husband worked from 16 and paid his NI etc. so do not understand how they calculated the amount I am to receive from his contributions. I too don’t understand how this doesn’t work both ways.

Hi Sheila
I was shocked to discover that I was not entitled to any of Ian’s state pension because I had worked and built up my own! How can that be fair. Ian worked and paid in for over forty years but all that was lost when he passed away. It would have been better if he’d been allowed to pay into a private pension instead.

I’m not sure how many people out there know about all the changes.

Take care,

,trixie it’s not fair I get a part of johns nhs pension 192 a month it’s just not fair he paid in it for 32years take care lv annie x x

Just reading all your comments about pensions and it all seems really unfair. I gave up work in 2019 to look after my husband as he was poorly with cancer. We got attendance allowance and carers allowance. When he died in sept last year obviously they stopped along with his pension. He was 10 years older than me and I have 6 years to wait til I get my pension. I now have no income of my own apart from the £100 a month bereavement payment. He had paid into a private pension which I am drawing on but I am going to use a lot of his pension pot to get me through the next 6 years. He used to worry a lot about how I would cope financially but I always assured him I would be fine. I will be but will have to be careful and it is a worry with the cost of living going up the way it is. Certainly not the way I had planned to be in my 60’s xx


Dear Trixie1

I have worked since leaving school so do not understand how they can conclude this outcome for yourself regarding your husband’s pension. I have to say a private pension is not much better. My husband worked from 16 and private pension payouts to a ‘surviving spouse’ are at the discretion of the Trustees. Only two have agreed to give me any payment and one of the payments is £21 per month before 20% tax.

I would prefer to have my husband but these payments are just another kick in the face for all our husbands/wives/partners hard work.


You are advised to start paying into a pension as early as possible when you start work to build up a decent pension pot. This is all well and good if you reach pension age but if not it is all lost or only a small percentage is paid out to your surviving wife/husband. Does it seem worth while paying in ?

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Depends on the type of pension. My husband had a small annuity pension which stopped when he died. His main private pension he has as a pension pot invested which I can draw what I need from Which is what I’m living on til I get my pension in 6 years

I also worked since being 17 and received almost a full state pension of my own !( short of a few pounds when I paid the married women’s stamp).
However Iwas still awarded around £200 per month of my husband’s state pension when he passed away. I also receive £210 per month from his private pension.
I cannot understand how you have been disallowed a part of your husband’s pension just because you have your own, unless it depends on the amount you receive from that. I would urge you to look into this further. Kindly regards. Xx