Just lost my husband

It is awful, it makes it a little easier if you leave the radio on, if music upsets you put radio 4 on or LBC as they are just chat. The background noise makes it a little less lonely.
Also leave lights on , it doesnt cost much but it is nicer to walk into a lit room. Hope this helps.

Thank you it does help. You are right about the music every song seems to have a memory attached to it. I have found watching some nature documentaries on YouTube can be distracting for a while. I’m avoiding all sorts of things on the television as it either upsets me or reminds me we watched them together.
Thank you Penny6

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Yes it is hard to watch programmes too, even new ones, I think it is because we would have chatted about it with hubby and now it seems to be lacking something and not the same. Sort of pointless watching on your own. I think that will improve as time goes on.

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I’ve stopped watching programmes we both enjoyed for the time being, instead I’m recording reality TV, including daytime programmes I can have on in the background. I also have a tablet and play free games and puzzles which is distracting for a while. X

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You live in a lovely city Frankie, Lincoln is nice, I live in Grimsby…no comparison LOL. Cleethorpes is lovely though…in summer.

I live in Luton. Well, somebody’s got to!
Xx

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I live in Hull ,its not as bad as ppl say xxx

I’m just writing this incase its happening to anybody else. I’ve had several days of waking up in a state of panic. Its happened before but this has been worse. I had a telephone assessment today from a lovely lady at the local counselling centre where i will be having an appointment hopefully next week. She said this is most likely delayed shock after 10 weeks of being busy getting things done. Our house was in a mess from having new central heating put in so there has been a lot to do on top of all the other tasks. I haven’t eaten much over the last week as i feel sick much of the time and nearly fainted while at my local shops this morning. She recommended getting Fortisip nutrition drinks as they are easy to get down so i have ordered some from Amazon.

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Felt very unwell and unable to cope so made a doctors appointment. Saw a lovely understanding doctor. She has prescribed an antidepressant to help with the anxiety. I probably should have sought help a week ago but just hoped the symptoms would pass. I thought was doing just about ok but i wasn’t.
I’m also trying to help myself with yoga breathing and resting. I realised i had been doing far too much trying to get everything done. Has anyone else felt this way?

Yes Wren running before I can walk. Looking for something anything to take away the pain. But it catches up in the end. Xxx

Doesn’t it just and with such force. I’m mentally and physically depleted at the moment. Staying with a friend for a few days trying to build up some strength to return home. Very best wishes to you jevncute xxx

Hopefully the rest will do you good, I will keep my fingers crossed for you. Hugs jo xxx

l lost my husband 7 weeks ago. It was extremely sudden and very unexpected. He was 66 and the fittest and healthiest person I know. Healthy diet, on no medication and regularly cycled 10/15 miles a day. We had both just retired and bought a holiday bungalow. We only had it 3 weeks when he went. I am 64 and feel so alone. Both my daughters live out of town and although they are very supportive they lead busy lives with jobs and families. I have no other family and my very close friends live out of town too. We had been together 46 years and married almost 44. He was my rock and soul mate. We were a team and together we could climb mountains. I know they say time heals but I’m struggling to come to terms with all this. I go to bed crying and wake up crying.

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Hi Alsy,
14 weeks for me. Like you, my husband was fit and healthy and had a sudden cardiac arrest in bed next to me. No history of heart problems, not overweight.
The shock is awful. All we can do is take it a day or an hour at a time.
It is heartbreaking that you had only just achieved your plans.
Just know that you are not alone in this. I thought we had a long and happy future together.
Sending hugs and strength. Xx

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Aww Aisy I am so sorry for you loss and you find yourself in this club none of us wanted too join.
7 weeks is so early I am 13 weeks into this journey and I still cry . Its awful. I cry because Although I got him fir almost 20 years I wanted more.plans hopes dreams are all gone.
But you are not alone this site is so good there are alot of loving caring people on here.
Hugs Jo xxx

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I’m so sorry Alsy. My thoughts are with you.

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My heart goes out to you Alsy and remember you are not alone because we are all here supporting each other.X

I have only just joined the community. I lost my husband in April and I am still finding everyday a challenge to get through. I do not have many friends or family. Our lives revolved around each other we worked together as well as being best friends. I feel chopped in two half living in the past and the other half in the awful now reality. I can only relate to how you feel. Grief. Its the most draining, life changing emotion and easily drags you down. I just have to ride along with it hoping it will get easier with time. Looking after yourself is the most important thing now, be kind to yourself.

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Hi Alice, welcome to the club nobody wanted to join, but we are very glad you found us. I lost my husband suddenly in May. Like you, we were just happy with each other. Not many friends, not much family for either of us.
It is a hard road we have to travel, but we have no choice.
Lots of cyber-friends here that understand the pain,
Hugs xx

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Evening Alice , sorry you have had to join this community, I lost my husband in June, likewise we didn’t have friends as for family some things are best left un said. But this group are all friendly and helpful. And offer a listening ear.
Hugs Jo. Xxx

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