I really feel for you Alice as it hasn’t been long for you on this nightmare journey. I hope your GP has been helpful. I’m on antidepressants which are helping. I hope tomorrow will be a better day for you. It’s just baby steps in the beginning as it takes time to get over the shock. Sending you all hugs.X
Alice I’m sorry you’re having a rubbish day. Mine started off not too bad, and I went out with a friend for several hours. Since I got home I’ve just been overwhelmed with grief again. It’s so unpredictable and as Frankie said, a nightmare journey. If only I could wake up!
Also sending hugs to everyone. X
We all seem to be having bad days today. I was ok until for some reason I started looking at the pictures Kev had bought me, on my 50th birthday , our 30th wedding anniversary and our 40th anniversary of meeting . I had a sudden panic attack - that I will never get gifts like these beautiful pictures again (by a company called Bertie and Jack based in Bath) I commissioned a special picture for him on our 40th anniversary of meeting, it’s one of a Vespa type scooter made up of all the words that meant something to us (where we met, honeymoon, names of children and grandchildren etc) the panic attack then got worse. I have retreated to bed with a hot chocolate! They haven’t triggered me before and I’m certainly not taking them down, but it’s odd what can suddenly trigger you during the day! Anyway, down to a very faint line of my covid tests so assuming normal responsibilities next week! Goodnight all xx
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Good morning everyone
Sunday is a tough day. I’m having a cry. I’m visiting a friend this afternoon because i know its important to go out but its an effort. My friend lives a fifteen minute walk away so that’s exercise too. On the way back i will buy milk in my local shop. A small task but an important one. Best wishes to us all today.
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I’ve had a lovely surprise. My daughter and her husband are coming over this afternoon and they are taking me out on my mobility scooter. Freya their gorgeous cocker spaniel is coming too and we’re going to Burton Water. It’s a 3 mile walk from my house and its all off road and through woodland. It’s cheered me up no end and given me a reason to be happy today. I’ve kissed my darling husband’s photo over and over and told him where we’re going. I feel he’s part of me, so he’s coming too. It comforts me. I hope you can all find something to comfort you today.X
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Good evening everyone Thankyou so much for your support today it really does help to ease a little. I am not much better today and really find the future so overwhelming on my own. I fought so hard for John’s care that I did not realize how bad my own mental health was until I had a breakdown in 2019 caused by this struggle. I still tried to continue I had to no one else to fight for him. Rather than go on about it he is no longer here but I am and in such a fragile mess. The grief is well I do not have to say as you are all suffering with this the same as me. It is the worst thing I think in life for the survivor of a couple. Each day a challenge plagued with grief and tiredness but we somehow get through. On a positive note we all had the most wonderful of partners that give us so much love that we will never forget. Love everlasting. xx
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Great to hear you had a lovely afternoon Frankie. I am friends with another local lady who lost her husband just before I lost mine. I could tell she was feeling down so I went over for tea and a chat and I think we both felt better afterwards. I came home, lit the fire and fell asleep watching a film! So a good day for me and I don’t think I have cried much x
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Good morning. Another Monday, another week to get through. Hope we all manage it.
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Morning Sam. Just what i was thinking. I’ve got a Sainsbury’s delivery coming this morning and Oxfam coming to collect some books. My husband loved books and had amassed hundreds from our local charity shops. Many of them big and heavy and on all sorts of subjects. Today’s collection will be the last of them from the bookshelves but i know there are more in the loft. Its painful to see them go knowing how much he loved them but the family have taken what they want and I’m sure he would want someone else to enjoy them.
Best wishes to everyone
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I haven’t managed to shift anything yet Wren so well done for moving stuff on. I guess I’ll just know when I’m ready.
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Morning everyone. I’ve just bagged up most of Paul’s clothes apart from his coats. Salvation Army will have them. It’s interesting to know Oxfam will collect books Wren because I have a bookcase full of hardback action and adventure novels all bought before he switched to a Kindle. I want to turn the office into a bedroom for my grandchildren and I feel ready to get started. Paul was a hoarder so it’s going to take a while! Besides it’s good to keep my mind busy. I hope you all find some peace today.X
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There’s no rush Sam, it’s early days so do what feels right for you.X
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My husband was also a hoarder. This is just the start. He was a Builder so there are lots of tools. My eldest grandson has taken some but i plan to donate them to the local Mens Shed.
I’ve donated some of his clothing to the Homeless drop in centre. They are always desperate for men’s clothing. We used to do this twice a year anyway so it seemed the right thing to do. I am keeping certain items of clothing that are special to me. I’m trying to make the house easy to take care of. Its always been quite cluttered and i can’t cope with that on my own. Its also keeping me busy though the process is painful. We had planned to redecorate over the summer so I’m try to focus on that to give me something to think about.
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Good morning everyone. One step forward i don’t know how many back. I have a plumber coming this afternoon to show me how to turn on and set the new central heating we had put in in May. My husband showed me at the time but my mind is a blank. I looked at the manual yesterday but it was so complicated it just made me cry. We waited a long time to get the heating replaced. We had lots of conversations as to how we were going to do it and how we were going to pay for it. We were looking forward to being warm this winter without worrying the boiler would break down. I’m so sad it will be just me.
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Good morning Wren. I’m having to learn how to do lots of things. I’m perfectly capable but when there’s two of you naturally divide the tasks up. I was wondering yesterday who he used to get to clean our gutters out. Every day brings a new question.
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It does. This has been worrying me for days. I suspect its straightforward and once its set it will be ok. The things we would normally take in our stride turn into mountains.
Morning Wren and Sam you dont realise till they have gone just how much we relayed on them. If I could have him back I would never take him for granted again . Hugs Jo xxx
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Good morning everyone. I’m ok with the heating as that was my “job” but I am accumulating “jobs” around the house that he would have done. Things I don’t have the skill (or inclination) to do. I am going to invite my brother and his wife to stay and then drop big hints about things that need doing. I haven’t put our patio furniture in the garage yet so I have invited all my grown up children to help me with a garden tidy up and then I will cook them a roast as reward. The problem now is that we need a dry day to do it!
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Goid idea recent widow, get all those jobs done, plus have the company a double posative . Xxx
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Watching you tubes helps me, I pause rewind etc but it does help get a job done:)
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