Good morning Recent Widow i am finding counselling helpful. I have a private counselling centre close to where i live. I pay for a one to one session on a Friday with a very nice lady. I’ve only had two sessions so far but the opportunity to talk openly with someone who is not a friend or family is good. I knew i would need extra support as my family is small and two of my friends are going to be away for the winter.
Best wishes to everyone this morning as we start another week.
Thanks wren13. I am feeling awful this morning, not grief - I have caught a stinking cold from my plague carrying grandchildren! I think I am staying in bed - I am now selfishly missing my husband who would have brought me up breakfast in bed and done the granddaughters school pick up later 
I think that support is the thing i’m missing the most. It makes feel very lonely having no one else I can depend on and share things with.
Actually not the thing i’m missing the most. A cuddle probably takes the top spot.
Sam10, I agree. My husband gave huge bear hugs, I miss them. I miss him cuddling at night (he was very cuddly which to be honest was very difficult during the menopause!) and I am just missing all he would have done for me today while I’m feeling ill
I’m so sorry you are poorly Recent Widow. That’s something that worries me. Getting ill and being on my own. I have my flu and covid jab in October but i will be being very careful to avoid catching anything if i can.
Yes Sam having no cuddling is just awful. I didn’t realise how much close contact we had though the course of a day and just the everyday chit chat about nothing important.
I’m going to stay the night with a friend tonight who lives nearby. It will be a relief to be in a different place not on my own. I keep trying to think of small things i can do to have a short break from the awful feeling of aloneness.
Morning Wren
Yes I am on Mirtazipine too and also have diazepam for emergencies when I cannot cope with it. Anxiety is dreadful.
Me too Alice. The anxiety is awful. I had no idea it would be part of this awfull process we are going through. When it crept up on me a few weeks ago i thought it would pass but it just got worse. The Mirtazipine has really helped but it still rears its head. Mornings are the worst. I found in the early stages when i was in a state of shock i was able to cope with many of the things that needed to done but now making phone calls or dealing with certain things increases the anxiety. It often eases off by the afternoon so i save things to do then but its exhausting.