My beautiful wife passed away 6 months ago to stage four cancer…
She was given 2 years to live.
We had been together 25 lovely years
And married just before she began chemo…(She passed within 8 weeks of married life.)
Life has been so hard without her.
Well…
I stupidly joined a dating site ( just to chat to someone) however,things advanced and we met and I spent the night with her.
Every step of the way I was thinking I could handle this…( convincing myself that my wife would want me to move forward and be happy )
Now I am tormented with guilt and feelings of betrayal.
I have also hurt a lady who had developed feelings for me.
My life was a mess…
Now I have made it a whole lot worse.
Only fools rush in…it seems…
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@Jimmy1975 I suppose the only thing you can do is to stop feeling guilty because it won’t change anything but perhaps not see the other lady again . If you’re now worried about things progressing too fast and you don’t want this just be honest and don’t see her again. Loneliness is such a horrible thing , I know this because I have accepted a future alone . Maybe in time I might change who knows , but for now I don’t want anyone else .
I would try not to feel guilty about betrayal. Your poor emotions are all over the place right now - just make things better for yourself by not meeting anyone else for the time being. Take care
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Oh dear … maybe step back for a while and explain to the lady youre not ready yet ? Its confusing isnt it but we shouldnt feel guilty for wanting some happiness. We all had an awful time of it and makes you realise how short life is … i been friends with a man for last 6 months but that’s all it is, friendship. Hes seperated and its nice having a male friend but im opposite to u, i wish it would go somewhere but dunno if it will tbh … i think its natural to want to find somebody else after losing a partner because its lonely isnt it 
xx
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You were lonely ,i know how that feels ,as i lost my husband 2024 who had cancer ,Do not be too hard on yourself
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Well he hasnt betrayed his wife has he … but my brother told me that there is an element of guilt if you meet someone after your partner has passed away. I suppose you still feel attached to our deceased partner though dont you … xx
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Jimmy 1975,
So very sorry for your loss,we all react differently to grief ,and the way we handle it,
Dont torment yourself
I lost my husband October 2022, and havent considering dating
But do whatever makes you happy ,
Take care ,
Susie .
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@Deb5 oh I felt really sad reading the post because how can you betray someone who has died - only in your own head .
It’s really hard isn’t it suddenly being alone after being in a long term relationship then your partner dies .
It’s not the sense of betrayal that stops me wanting someone else , I just don’t want anyone 
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Thats fair enough but maybe if you met somebody nice you might change your mind ? But were all different arent we ? Theres no right or wrong. I just miss being loved and loving someone but who knows what is in front of us ? I wish none of this has happened cos i was happy with my husband but what the heck can we do ? Nothing. Its happened hasnt it on a happy note my daughter has had her baby today ! 8lb boy …no name yet ! Seen a pic and omg can see my husband in him ! Wow ! Well hes gonna be handsome then 
xxx
xxx
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Have you seen your new grandson yet ? Xxx
Hi @Deb5 . Congratulations on the birth of your new grandson . I know it must be hard for you . But your husband is part of the baby . Glad you can see the resemblance of your husband . Hope he brings you a piece of happiness . I’m sure he is going to be handsome . Sending love and a hug x
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Thanks @Broken2222 its comforting to see some of my husband ! I hoped i could see some of him even though its emotional too xx
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Deb5
Congratulations on the birth of your Grandson ,
They bring so much pleasure into our lives ,
Take care
Susie
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Thank you xxx
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@Deb5 oh I bet you’re thrilled - that’s lovely news . It’s lovely too that you can see your husband in him !! You obviously love and miss your husband so much don’t you - just like me with Baz .
You are right . We don’t know what the future will hold , so ruling out any sort of relationship would possibly be wrong of me . It’s just when you had the best fit ( like we both had ) then it will be very hard for any man to live up to this . I’m ok with some companionship but as for anything else ….ahem , thanks but no thanks 
No , not seen my grandson yet but nobody has ! They’re not taking visitors. A bit like the bloody Royal Family!! xxx
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Oh dear have they not had any visitors !! For goodness sakes !!! Im pleased with baby … think going on Friday to see him … can see my husband in him for sure. I did love him so much it - nearly killed me when he passed away … but i survived somehow and its true time is a healer and my life has expanded and ive made friends … which i never thought i would tbh … i thought my world had come to an end Hope you get to see your grandson soon !!! xxxx
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@Deb5 im patiently waiting for an invitation still ! God knows why they’re not seeing anyone. Well it’s my son’s child fgs I’m not just some random visitor. I’m a bit upset actually but I’m waiting to be asked because I don’t want to risk a fall out . We’re getting on better now , even though I’ve not spoken to my son since last Saturday.
I want to speak to him about some practical help I need and to ask his advice about moving but he’s too bogged down with the baby !!!
Honestly you’d have thought he was the only person to ever become a dad wouldn’t you .
I’m missing Baz terribly- the house isn’t ready still and they won’t give me a date when it will be . I’m fed up with waiting. I’m considering a temporary move in between just to see if I absolutely hate it . Actually I don’t think I will ever be truly happy again . My heart is shattered in 2 - me without Baz just doesn’t work and I can’t see a way forward at the moment. I need to make a decision on the temporary move today and I really don’t know what to do xxx
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Temporary move to where? Another house ?
Rather than ask your son about other things - just simply ask him when can you see the baby ? Ask him for a date when you can see him ? Tell him you will only stay an hour but that you would really like to see him and take a gift for him wont you ? Maybe flowers for the parents ? Im gonna do that, pick up some flowers … as well as some trousers she said he needed and some blue muslim cloths she said … Just keep it real simple. No pressure but be assertive - jeez you wanna see your grandson even if only for an hour xx
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Oh god I have done the same really don’t know what I want .
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@Deb5 the housing association have offered me a new property putting me into a dilemma. They won’t let me take my cat Baz would be horrified. My dad says I can wait it out here with him but I need to decide on the flat today I believe. So I’m juggling a flat I’m not happy in so staying with my dad but now being offered something different which I don’t want . I want to wait on the house ! I can’t get objective advice because the housing department are not interested in private renting. I’m left to make a decision once again feeling vulnerable and alone . Life’s so hard without our men 
Yes I really want to see my grandson but as I’m not being invited I don’t see what I can do . Apparently just turning up is a no- no . My DIL doesn’t like flowers ! ( who doesn’t like flowers!) . They been told to bond with the baby for 2 weeks alone apparently!!! I’m thinking that’s ridiculous. Without my man by my side life’s so hard - well you’d know that wouldn’t you . Xxx
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Yes it can be so lonely but also confusing too. I don’t want to be alone but not sure about a relationship. The dating game is so different now.
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