Wise words.
Take care, welcome on this site, as far as I am concerned.
Thanks Mr Chipps it shouldn’t matter how long since your lost your wife it still hurts. Keep posting and reading on here. We will always be widowed for as long as we live doesn’t matter if its 1 day or 60+years
Hi Bobby63
I lost my wife of 38 years in Feb 2021. i went to the darkest places of my mind, really scary “mental health issues” then I decided
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then i decided to try counselling, i used Cruse, I was with them for nearly a year but I can say now they saved me, I met some wonderful people on the weekly zoom calls , some i still keep in contact with, I was so impressed with how they helped me I will be joining them in December this year as a trainee councillor, you have to wait 2 years sadly.
It cost nothing to try so please give it a go.
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Thanks very much for the advice, I will try it out and hope it works. Think I need someone to talk to . A big thanks
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Hi
Good to read that you found cruse counselling so helpful. I am having my initial consultation on 3rd may. My husband died in sept and I’ve recently been struggling with anxiety and feeling low. Doctor suggested counselling alongside medication. Tablets are starting to have some effect so thankfully feeling a bit better x
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My heart goes out to you, it’s horrible times for you and nothing I or anyone says will make things better. I to lost my wife of 45 years 18 months ago to cancer. Every day is a hurdle and I now am I am thinking about going to a councillor. I have a lot of family and friends round me be I feel that the lonely days and nights are getting worse. I find I can be in a room full of friends but I am looking at something and I am talking to Cath. I have never been to a councillor before but a lot of people on here have said it helps and maybe you should think about this as well. Take care Bob
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Well said and I know the feeling. Take care Bob
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I know the feeling, of saying what they want to hear, I also lost my wife of 40 years six months ago. I still don’t believe it, I feel she will come home soon and all will be right again, but I know this will never happen; so I am sad, crushed, again. It does not help that I ‘think’ six months should be long enough, but at times it feels like day or hours, then it feels like years: its so confusing. Talking to a councillor, I found, so relieving; for a short time. The pain seem to get more acceptable but not less. Stay safe.
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Hi misprint i rarely post on here now. Simply because i have come to believe that there is not any advice or help i can offer members.
Also i am not prepared to take garbage of newly bereaved people who think that i don’t have any ideas what they may be going through.
Look after yourself and always be proud mr chipps the poet
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Hi I would just like to say your posts have helped me a great deal I don’t always post to you but I did a couple of times . One about the daisys . Which I had forgotten that hubby had sent me pictures of Daisy’s in garden till I seen your post . And now I look at pictures and smile thank you . Also the one about wishing our hubbys had just gone of with someone else . Thank you again because I thought it was my mind going crazy . Also some of your posts have made me smile about the funny things you have done. I am sure you still have a lot to give to newly bereaved people once again thank you .xtake carex
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@Lonely hello lonely I just want to say your post have helped me and I often read what you post. I can’t remember if I have ever replied. But everything you say about your husbend and how you feel without him. Is exactly how I feel about my love. Like you I see no future without her. But the fact that you are still here and all the things you push yourself to do and manage to do. I admire you and you give me hope that one day I might do better. I know I will never stop loving her or move on as she is the only one for me. But your post inspire me to keep trying and I appreciate your honesty. So thankyou take care love and hugs casey xxx
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Hi lonely
Sorry to hear you are thinking of leaving the forum. Your posts have been a real inspiration and although you miss your husband very much you get on with things. I have enjoyed reading your stories.
Take care xx
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Lonley, my heart goes out to you and as I read your comments and I like you are in a similar position. Lost my wife of 45 years in June 2020 . I stumble from day to day but this is only surviving not living. There is not a day goes by that I don’t talk to Cath, I even sleep cuddling her nightdress. I hope that something happens in you life that gives you some happiness. My thoughts go with you.Bob
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I am , I guess, new too this in comparison, it will be 2 years on the 20th of April, since Shell left us, some days , honestly, are not too bad, but , when you think the best , days are" not too bad", it makes the worst days ,pretty unbearable. It’s been a long 2 years, so what 40 plus is like, I dread to fear. We become kind of numb. I would like to say to all the people who post, your thoughts, kind words, are immense, heart felt, and respected, and appreciated. I would like at times to be more positive, and post words of encouragement, but it’s hard, you can only voice how you feel. Anyway, sorry for the long post.
Respect, take care all x
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Shiela i am thinking seriously of leaving the site because of not being able to express my own opinionsons, without being censored by the site management
If you want to stay in touch you can email me.
I leave it up to you?
Shiela
counselling only helps you to explore your thoughts . Its not about counsellors telling you what to think ? I used to be a volunteer counsellor and also was a samaritan and have over 30 years as a volunteer
I the only voluntary work I do now is as a governor with an n h s trust supporting patients who are living with mental health issues. ( which could ) include bereavement, if it has brought on depression, or other issues
Best wishes mr chipps
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Hi huni
I don’t know if it ever ends. It’s almost 3 yrs for me, in that time the world has changed so much, for me, for my daughters for the world.
I have a good day and a couple of bad days. Then it’s force of spirit that gets me to try again to be normal. Try again to care if my house is lean, if my clothes are clean, if I am clean for that matter.
Then something happens and I perk up, I try again.
Going out to the shops in the car alone is, for some reason hard for me. I come out of a shop and sit in my car and cry. So lonely, so desperate for my hand to be held, for a kiss on my cheek, for a hug however brief.
Only those of us who have experienced this can understand. I understand.
Take care of yourself, one day at a time huni, one day at a time. Xxx
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I totally agree , you cannot only try and wham bang your heart breaks again and everything seems pointless.
Oh what actors we all are.
Luv to all in our sad and lonely world,
One day may we find a little peace. X
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Thing is that I’ve been on my own now for 2.5 years as my lovely Bridget is in a care home now and it doesn’t realistically get better. 6 months is nothing. Who says that there’s a time period for all this stuff. Those who are going through it know it’s never going to stop and we just have to get on with it.
I never want anyone to go through what I’ve been through but eventually we all loose someone. I see couples oblivious to all this and I think … you just wait and then you’ll know!
Peter
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I totally agree… I lost my husband from sporadic cjd so so cruel 6 weeks from Doctors appointment he was gone.
He didn’t know who I was from week 1.
It’s been 2years and 4 months in a daze for over 18 months then it really hit me …he was gone for good.
We were married for 50 years been together since I was 15.
Life just seems pointless oh how I hate this new life I don’t want.
I am so so sorry for you I know how hard it must be to visit your dear wife.
Take care xx
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